Phasing Moon
by tWiLiGhTfAnTaSiEs
Summary: What if Bella's parents died in a murder? What if Bella had survived and arrived at the Cullens' doorstep when she was only a year old? What if they Cullens took care of her? Would her and Rosalie get along? Would her and Edward ever be together? Read it!
1. Chapter 1: Escape from Darkness

Changing Moon

By Kristin Marie

Chapter 1

Escape from Darkness

Renee's POV

The shaky forest seemed to grow deeper and deeper until I knew I was lost. It was too late for me. Charlie's gone; he was gone at the first blow of the gun.

I was lucky to have gotten up on my own, but I have to save her; my one and only daughter, my dear Bella. So sweet, innocent, I would never let anyone hurt her. She was napping in my arms. Bella could sleep through anything. I simply had to save her. She was a year old. If anyone could live, it was Bella. The longing to be with her just kept getting bigger and growing every second I rain. Tears ran down my cheeks. It seemed impossible to leave my daughter but if leaving her with someone else is the only way to keep her safe, then that's what I'll do. She stirred and mumbled incoherently in her sleep. She had learned to talk just a month ago and she's been talking in her sleep ever since she was born. I had to keep her asleep, if she woke up, she would cry, and he would find us. I tried to rock while I ran but it only seemed to make the shaking worse but she seemed to relax.

I once saw a house in these deep woods. It's hidden, deep through twisted ferns and trees yet it's still so white, so pleasant. She would be safe with whatever family was there, they just have to find it in their hearts to save her, to take care of her.

Sudden pain swallowed my right shoulder. I winced at the blazing fire burning. I kept running, yet my body screamed in protest. _I must not stop_. I had called 911 and that's when he shot me in the shoulder, and hot blood rain down my arm. That's when I started running with Bella.

I got into my car and hit the gas as hard as I could and drove passed the blur of greenery. I went as much as the car could take until it was protesting with a whine. I only had a old Volkswagen. Gun shots sounded from behind and I recognized the murder's car behind us. The gas tank icon beeped. I cussed. The car drove until it couldn't go any farther and when it couldn't, I bolted to the forest. I could hear him pursing us but I lost him a long time ago. It wouldn't be long before the murder found me. But he would only find me, Bella would be safe, that's all that matters.

I started to find no hope in both of us; the forest just seemed to go on. My heart felt as if it would explode in my chest because of the pain of her getting killed. Although, as if out of nowhere, the house opened up in front of me and I felt like screaming in relief. As I limped-runned to the front door, my blood trailing across the light, green lawn.

I bolted up the stairs, almost tripping up the polished porch. I carefully set Bella down with shaky hands. I stroked her short, wavy hair and kissed her soft cheek. This was our goodbye, I would never see her again and she would never remember me. An idea sparked to my mind before I ran out. I reached into my dirty coat pocket and produced a picture of her, Charlie, and me a month after she was born. I'd already had her name scribbled in with mine and Charlie's so her new parents would already know her real name. I tried my hardest not to let my hands shake as I tucked it in the covers. Tears spilled over my face, which was covered was cuts, and caused them to sting. I gently took her head in my hands and kissed her forehead. A tear fell onto her cheek. My little Bella whimpered and I rushed out into the forest without looking back. My mission was complete, my Bella was safe. I bolted to the forest to face my death. He would never find her. Ever, I vowed to myself.

Alice's POV

I touched the blue dress design on the computer and dragged it to the virtual mannequin. I then added some sparkles and frills for finishing touches. My pale white finger moved unusually slowly –well, for me- to the finish and package button. The computer beeped the confirmation.

"Rose, your dress is done. It'll be here in two days" I said dryly

"Whatever" She said from upstairs.

Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Emmet had left for hunting yesterday and they wouldn't be back until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. It was just me and Rosalie, but we haven't been getting along lately. She's been moody about moving here, she liked our last resident. It was pale blue and beautiful but it was mostly because her room looked out onto a lake; she pretty much had to best room.

This time, Edward had the best room and she was jealous and now she wouldn't even look at him. She was _so_ absurd. She should go a little easier on Edward, he's just been kind of down lately. But no, it's all about Rosalie. Its like her wave of negativity was literally physical; as if I could feel it in the air.

I sighed

Ever since we moved, its been boring, just the same old routine; hunt, sit, walk, run, hunt. I could stand it, eventually I think my head would explode with boredom and that's kinda of hard to do to a vampire. One of the times I wish I could sleep.

I sighed again and strode over to the window overlooking a river, making the lightest footsteps that not even a mouse would hear. I starred at the blue vast beauty of it to the green, misty trees of the forest across from it. The water was dull gray reflecting the sky. The rapids were calm as they floated across the earth. I could hear the little animals that roamed the forest and see the young fish that glided through the river's waters. The water from the rapids always left a misty cloud of water vapor and made the river foggy. To humans, the site would be uninteresting or boring but to me it beautiful. It was beautiful how the little water specs in the mist became sparkles and it was beautiful how the animals lived with the water and alongside with water. And it was beautiful how the water made the grass and plants bloom into beautiful flowers.

The next thing I knew, I saw these big chocolate brown eyes open up in front of me. They bewildered for one second with her pink, plum cheeks a rosy red, her mahogany hair long and smooth, and her mouth opened a tad. Then without, thinking about it, her lips curved up into a smile with her eyes getting just a big bigger, if it were possible. I had never seen this baby yet, so suddenly, it seemed like she was my best friend, like she was the world to me. I didn't even know her at all but she became so much to me. She was part of my future. That's all I could tell. She was going to love me, and Rosalie, and Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, even Edward. This child was about to become a huge part of our lives. The problem was that I didn't know when but on the flipside I could sense it was soon.

It was only a second later I heard steps run up the porch stairs. Two hearts were beating, one was weak and had uneven, disjointed rhythm while the other was strong, and had a vibrant, healthy rhythm. It was her. It was the child I'd just saw a second ago that was here.

A small drop of liquid dropped onto the stone of the porch with a light tap. There was some patting around and a whimper, then suddenly, the footsteps raced off south into the woods, opposite of the direction of they came from.

As soon as silence took place of the footsteps, I only waited a second in shock before bolting to the door. I looked out and saw nothing. I searched rapidly around the forest until I found a blanket at my feet. A small piece of brown hair was sticking out of it. I gently took the feather light blanket and opened it up to see the same baby that I saw in the vision. Her breathing sped up as she opened up her big, brown, incredulous eyes. As in the vision, they were bewildered at first until the blood rushed to her cheeks and her lips curled up into a smile that made the vision compete.

She was so beautiful, and innocent. Oh if only I knew her name! I stroked her soft, plump cheek. She giggled in response, it sounded like a little bell. A smile spread across my face.

"If only you could tell me your name, little one." I said stroking her wavy, dark hair

I knew I shouldn't have been doing this. I should be calling Carlisle and asking him what to do and that's probably giving her to a human family. Sudden pain shot to my heart. I couldn't let her go, and eventually, the others wouldn't be able to either.

As I bounced her up and down, a small piece of paper floated from her blanket. I caught it reflexively before it could float to the ground. It was a picture of the girl and what looked to be her parents; all smiles and a happy family indeed. Why give her away? This question lingered in my mind as turned over the picture. On the back, there was writing:

Isabella Swan, October 13, 1988.

"Is that your name? Isabella?" I looked over her features and rocked her. "It seems like a mouthful, huh?"

Isabella was still smiling at our little time, having no idea that she was close to a vampire. I was in control, though. I went hunting a few days ago. The burn in my throat was only a minor detail I could ignore easily.

"Let's give you a nickname" I thought about it for a half-second, then "Bella"

Bella giggled again. The little baby seemed to be oblivious to my cold skin because she was just as comfortable as being in a bed for her. I smiled down at her.

My smile faded. It was time to get to business, to find her a home. It would be painful for all of us but we had to do it. It was the only way little Bella could be safe.

I bolted to the phone with Bella still in my arms and called Carlisle.

"Alice, is everything alright?" Carlisle's calm voice said

"I'm not sure. I need you all home _now_" I demanded


	2. Chapter 2: Indecision

Phasing Moon Chapter 2: Indecision

By: Kristin Marie

Edward's POV

"I'm not sure. I need you all home _now_" Alice trilled into the phone receiver.

"But _why_ Alice?" Carlisle's stress looked like as if they'd been carved into his forehead. I felt my forehead mirror his.

"Please just come home and I'll explain." Alice said impatiently. I'd never heard her so stressed before. She was always so chirpy and happy until the point I would want to rip my ears out and never hear her again; especially if I wasn't in such a great mood.

"Alright," Carlisle sighed, "we'll be home within a hour" He then clicked the phone shut and turned to the rest of us. "I don't have to repeat any of that do I?" He half smiled.

I heard all of the answers before everyone shook their heads. All of us darted in the direction opposite of our route. I was right behind Carlisle, who was leading, when Emmett came up beside me.

"What's going on kid?" His eyes were humorless for once and intense

"Your guess is as good as mine" I muttered, utterly focused on getting home to see what's wrong with Alice. A million scenarios kept popping into my head; each irrational but didn't stop me from worrying. Some of us should have stayed behind. What if other vampires had come? What if her and Rose were outnumbered? I shuddered to think that would happen and ran as fast as I could, ahead of Carlisle. He never minded letting me lead, I knew the way as well as he did; though I felt rude and looked at him for a confirmation.

"_Go on son, we'll be right behind you", _Carlisle thought

I nodded to him and darted way ahead of them. I noticed the air was becoming a lot cooler and heavier since we had left no doubt a rainstorm was brewing, which was normal for Forks, Washington.

It was already misty once I reached the house and it would be difficult for a human to look through the fog but I could see Alice crystal clear. She appeared to be holding some kind of blanket. I raised an eyebrow and walked in.

"_Get away from here as fast as you can, Edward. I'm begging" _Alice looked horrified.

I raised an eyebrow and she could tell I asked why.

"_Just do it! Please I'm begging!", i_f she didn't look worried before, now she was horrorstruck. She was hiding something from me; she was very good at that. But what was she hiding?

I ignored her pleas as I walked towards the house. As soon as I got the room the scent hit me like cannonball. No stopping it, it just came. My throat automatically burst into flames. It was the most delicious, sweetest scent of human blood I'd had ever smelled. I had to have it; there was no question, no excuse. I felt the monster inside me come up to the surface after so many years; the same monster that smiled upon my diet of human blood in my newborn years. I immediately crouched toward the scent's direction: The blanket Alice was holding. A snarled bubbled up to my lips and slid through my clenched teeth. The monster was completely in control now. The blanket was like a gravitational force, pulling me towards it; just begging me to sink my teeth into its succulent neck. The blood pumping warm and fast was just making me about to move faster than I was going to.

Alice still had her horrorstruck expression, when I saw it. I saw what she was seeing. I stopped my breathing but the scent was still strong inside my head, like an intoxicating haze. I stopped mid-step towards the blanket. I couldn't stand it, the image she was sending me. It was impossible, heartless, horrifying.

"Get. Out. Of. Here" She growled. She wasn't growling at me, she was growling at the monster controlling my actions. Another growl burst through my teeth. The blood was so irresistible, I had to have it; mine, no one else's or they would get killed in the process. I crouched lower, ready to pounce.

Suddenly thoughts burst into my head.

_Edward! _Jasper

_ No son! _Carlisle

_ Don't do it, Kid! _Emmett

_ Please don't hurt her! _Esme

_ Don't you dare! I'll rip your freaking head off! _Rosalie

_Run Edward! _Alice. The image of the future hit me again like a slap in the face.

Suddenly, Emmett, Carlisle, and Jasper all had a hold of me. There was no one part of me they didn't have. I struggled against their restraints that I could so easily break. I needed that blood, more than wanted it.

"Edward. Son, make the right choice. Don't" Carlisle said into my ear. I glared daggers at the blanket but if I go any closer, I would ruin everything I had for us. I would not only them but myself. I would never live this down, not just killing a human but killing a newborn human, just starting out in the world. I continued to glower at the blanket, half wanting it, yet half loathing. Yes, I loathed that little human. It was trying to ruin everything for me and my family. I've never been filled so much hate for a certain creature. I tensed, ready to spring again.

"Edward" Carlisle begged. "She's just a baby. Please." My loathing began to evaporate. I would be letting Carlisle down and that hit me harder than anything else. He trusted me and knew that I would never do something so horrifying. "Find a will" Then I was completely still. I felt my face crumple in pain; I couldn't kill such an innocent human. The monster inside me growled as the hottest flames licked the inside of my throat.

I took a step back out of their hands and the gravitational force grew stronger. I then darted out the door before I another step towards that baby. The forest passed by under my feet as I bolted north, away from Forks. All I could see in my mind was Alice's vision. That little baby girl, dismembered and dead in my arms. I then shot through the forest even faster than before.

Alice's POV

Relief washed through my entire body. Bella was safe, Bella was safe. I kept chanting in my mind. I clutched her closer as the blanket fell and revealed her little head of mahogany. She whimpered from all the sudden growling and yelling.

"You're okay, Bella" I crooned and patted her little ringlets.

"Alice" Carlisle said.

I unwillingly looked up from Bella.

"Why?" Carlisle's face was in agony. He knew that I knew that we couldn't keep a human baby girl; it would put her danger of not only us but the Royal Italian Family, the Volturi. The result if they found her would be the death of her. I winced.

"Carlisle, I had a vision...." Trying to make him figure it out

"About the child...?" His face remained crumpled in pain

I nodded, "I can see Bella apart of this family, Carlisle." I could see her becoming one of us. Not a vampire, but part of the family. "We'll all love her. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't hesitate to drop her into an orphanage. I already love her too much" I squeezed Bella gently.

It was only then that I saw Jasper for the first time. He was staring at me with wide eyes as I said her name. His eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out our bond. I was sure he could feel the devotion and love I felt towards this child. He could probably feel Bella's simple emotions. As my emotions turned to concern for him, his eyes became frightened.

"It's alright Jasper, you can handle it. I know you can" I reassured him although I was entirely sure myself. But I had to plaster this onto my face so he'll be confident. He sighed.

Carlisle ignored the exchange and walked slowly over to me, his eyes locked on Bella. I looked down at Bella and noticed for the first time what her face looked like. Her eyes were confident, yet curious. Then there was a small little dent of concentration in her forehead. She didn't look scared nor frightened as I thought she would, she looked _brave_. She was intelligent even at a year old.

Carlisle continued his slow walk; he was being cautious and careful not to scare her. Bella didn't cringe or wince, she merely waited for what would happen. Carlisle made it over and looked Bella straight into the eyes. She stared back, dumbfounded for a moment and then, just like she did to me, her face broke into a smile showing her shiny little teeth. Carlisle looked shocked for a moment, then, as me again, he smiled back at her.

"Her name is Bella?" Carlisle asked still smiling.

I nodded and dug the photo of her and her family out of my pocket then handed it to Carlisle. He examined the photo for a moment.

"This is Charlie Swan and his wife Renee" He said reading the back. I stared at him, confused. I already knew that.

"Charlie is police chief here and his wife is a teacher at the elementary school" He looked confused and concerned.

"Was" I mumbled

. "They died?" His voice matched his eyes; concerned.

I nodded solemnly.

"Alice, tell me exactly what you know." Carlisle demanded. I then started my story with the vision of Bella looking at me then to when I called him. At certain points, that look of concern would return to his eyes, then remain emotionless. I finished and waited for the verdict. I couldn't see Bella's future until he made a decision.

"I think everyone should have a say if Bella should leave" his voice broke on the last word. Carlisle was already wrapped around her finger. He turned to our family. Esme looked compassionate, Rosalie looked determined, Emmett had a big grin on his face, and Jasper still looked concerned. Although, they all looked to accept her; My only worry was Edward. I saw his face, heard his growls, almost felt his intense pain. Then it hit me. He must feel betrayed, I picked someone I just saved than him, who I've known and been close with for over forty years. Pain shot through me. Things just couldn't go the way I wanted them to for once.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder. "He's strong enough Alice..." At first I thought he was talking about Jasper but he was gazing in the direction Edward had left three minutes ago. I shuddered at the thought of Edward even getting close to Bella, not in his condition right now.

Suddenly another vision hit me. It was Bella's future, sharpening by the second, it was all of us. Rosalie and I were hugging Bella's young adult, human form, while Bella had a hand on both of our arms with a big grin on her face. Carlisle and Esme were on Rosalie's side, Jasper and Emmett were on mine, and at first I couldn't find Edward. I panicked, had he left our family? I searched and quickly and found him in the corner with a small smile on his face, though it didn't reach his eyes as they gazed at Bella. There was something else in there; determination, strength and....compassion? Edward would love Bella just like the rest of us.

Suddenly, the huge grin I always wore to show my confidence shown. Everyone looked at my eyes with curiosity.

"If we chose to keep Bella" I looked at each one of them "She'll love us and we won't kill her even Edward." My eyes rested on Carlisle and relief washed his features.

"Are you sure the vision is permanent, Alice?" Rosalie demanded. She wouldn't want Bella getting hurt but hell Rosalie wouldn't let her go, ever, even if we tried.

"I'm positive. She'll be fine" The vision became more defined.

An angelic smiled crossed her features.

"How does everyone feel about Bella joining the family?" Carlisle asked, wary.

All of them nodded simultaneously. My grin stretched so far, it covered the whole bottom half of my face. I gazed down at Bella, she saw my grin, and smiled back. I hugged her tightly.

"Welcome to the family, little Bella" I whispered to her. But then it hit me again, how much pain would Edward be in to keep that face in the picture?


	3. Chapter 3: Agony

Phasing Moon

Chapter 3: agony

EPOV

Playlist

I'm so sick- Flyleaf

The animal I've become- three days grace

Fences- Paramore

Everything kept passing my perpetual vision. Little animals scurried or flew away from my furious form. I was surprisingly jealous of those creatures, at least they could get away from their fears just like that, and I had to have it complicated. Twigs and large tree branches snapped loudly as I ran them over in my fast, straight path.

_I have to keep going_, I thought to myself. So long as everyone else is safe, especially that baby. As soon as I thought of her I saw that blanket and the scent –still in my head as if she was right here- made my throat burst to flames again. It only made me run faster from Forks; From home; From family.

I knew someone would come and look for me, Carlisle or Alice most likely. I didn't have a chance to talk about it with Carlisle though he had a pretty good idea to why I was about to pounce.

I only crouch like that while I'm hunting a mountain lion; only this creature was much, much more appealing. The lion was water, the baby was the alcohol, and I was the drinker.

Carlisle didn't see this coming and Alice didn't have time to tell him, my mind was made up, if it weren't for Carlisle, it would have been too late for that girl. I winced at the thought of ending her life and shivered at how her blood would taste...

I ran impossibly faster than before, even humans could probably see my straight path through the forest. I may have set some leaves on fire from friction but the rain would douse the small flames.

I ran until the sun was off the western horizon. I was looking out to a river; my straight path was in the direction east, so I must be Idaho somewhere. The lake was probably Coeur d'Alene. I sighed. The river sparkled as the moon crept through the clouds. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them and rested my chin on my knee, looked out into the vast, black water.

I felt like a weak fool. How could I let one little human creature drive me away from my home. I already knew the answer to that, she smelled so luscious. The memory of the smell made my throat burn so much my white hands clawed into my arm, almost making them hurt. I had to resist from getting up and running back to Forks.

I was in my own personal hell, writhing in pain. All I could see was that little girl, dead in my arms. I dug my nails harder into my skin so much it hurt and growled under my breath.

I stayed there for hours, swimming in the pain I was in. I felt like I was going to drown and give up, go to Forks, and kill her. Several times I had to stop myself from getting up and running. I would squeeze my eyes shut and I would see the blanket, the scent would hit me and then I would open my eyes and resist again. My growls became louder and my breathing became ragged. If my eyes could tear, they would. I couldn't let this creature allow me to be away from my life.

I clenched my teeth together at how weak I was. I should be able to resist. I cannot take the life of the child. _But her blood..._The monster inside me grumbled. _I must resist_ The more noble side of me growled back. I moved one of my hands to hair and pulled at it, then rain my fingers through it, then sighed.

Rapid, small footsteps approached, I jumped up and crouched.

"Relax, Edward, it's just me" Alice's chirpy voice said.

As soon as she spoke, her scent floated up my nose. I usually would be prepared when I heard her thoughts, I was too distracted though. Then, the child's scent was mixed with Alice's scent. I held my breath. _Resist_ I commanded of myself.

"Sorry, Alice, I didn't hear your approach."

"Obviously" She mumbled as she stepped out of the bushes.

She examined me for a moment and her guarded eyes turned to concern. The image of the girl popped into her head, I ignored the scent the best I could and studied her. She had long dark brown hair with a hint of a red tint in it. Her cheeks were flushed red with a small smile showing her white teeth. Although, her eyes are what caught my full attention, they were big, brown and bewildered. I feel like I could stare deep into them forever, they just seemed to go on and on. I wouldn't lie, she was adorable. A small smile played on my lips despite the pain.

"Edward, _I'm_ sorry. I didn't really have time to think about it" Alice said dropping her eyes to the ground.

"That makes two of us" My eyes narrowed. "Well, it'll end eventually when we find her a family-"Alice's eyes grew wide and I saw her memory as she slipped what she was hiding from me. Everyone was smiling and agreeing to _keep_ the child. _Keep_ that human that was causing me so much pain. It just made that monster _keep _smiling

"_No_" I growled at her menacingly

Her head shot up and her expression turned to anger with a hint of something else. "It's too late, Edward" Her vision hit me the same time she explained. "She's part of the family. We can't give her up." I identified the unknown expression as it became more distinct on her face. It was protective. She was _protecting_ the _child_ from _me_. My teeth clenched together so hard it could cut through granite.

"_No_" I growled louder than I had all night.

"You have to understand" Alice eyes turned to pleading "I..." she hesitated "I already love her....everyone does..." She choked. "and..." She looked me straight in the eye with confidence. "You're going to love her too" The vision was the entire family closed up on Bella in her sixteen or seventeen year old form. I was in corner but smiling a little and looking at her with compassion in my eyes, I could tell.

"The Volturi?" I growled the name of the Italian rulers who made the rules for vampires. "They'll kill her" I groaned, half disappointed not to have her blood, half because she doesn't deserve such a death at such a young age even from me.

"If they come, we'll change her right away. It's the only way. I'll know when they're coming though, I'll see them." She said, determined.

"I can't believe this" I hid my face in my hands. I couldn't stand for this child to be part of my life, she deserved better; a normal human family. Why would they make such a decision!

"You can do it Edward" Alice encouraged. "That vision _will_ come true. You're the strongest of us all, you survived so much and you can face this problem. I _know _you can." She smiled a little, but it didn't reach her eyes.

I shook my head slowly. "I could kill her" I choked. I fisted my hands in my hair. "The very whiff of her scent makes me want to..." I left the sentence unfinished.

"You can do it." She said again. "You can face this problem head on, and solve it safely and have Bella part of your life"

_Bella;_ So that was her name now? They already _named_ her. I groaned.

"Yes, she has a name, everyone does" She said, teasingly annoyed. She could tell by my expression by what I groaned about.

"You're not weak, Edward." She looked frustrated and annoyed. "You're determination always overrules your weaknesses including this one."

This made me want to start breathing again, and run with Alice back home, to protect the girl, to have her apart of my family., to spend her life with her, supporting her, helping her. I wanted this so much. This feeling _was_ determination. I didn't even think about the scent, the feeling overruled it. Alice was right.

I sighed; this was going to be painful. "Alright Alice"

A smile broke across her face

I held up one finger. "But if it's too much. I'll leave. For the child's sake"

"For _Bella's_ sake" She corrected holding one finger, imitating me.

I shook my head and smiled a little. Alice held out her hand. "Let's go" Her eyes glowed light gold. I took it and we shot through the forest as the sun rose over the horizon, indicating a new day. It was a new day, a new change to my life. The sun rose as my destiny approached closer and closer.

* * *

By afternoon, we were back at the house. I hesitated on the step. I took in one last gulp of air, I wouldn't really get to talk much but I couldn't breathe in that scent. Alice grabbed my wrist and tugged me forward. She looked straight at me

"_You can do this_," She reminded me and dragged me to the house with little effort. I would let out a sigh but I needed the air.

Everyone was waiting for us.I scanned for the girl but she didn't come up, I could hear a little beating heart though, from behind Rosalie.

_"Edward"_ Esme thought in relief, she darted over and wrapped her arms around me. She didn't want the family to break apart. I kept my eyes on where the sound was coming from as I returned the embrace. Esme looked up at her _"please be careful" _She thought, her eyes were terrified. I saw in her mind, myself running after the child. I winced. _"Sorry, dear"_ she patted my arm. I smiled a little.

I maneuvered out of the embrace and started to walk –slowly- towards the heartbeat. Once Rosalie realized what I was doing, Rosalie snarled at me.

"I mean no harm, Rose" I put my hands up, palms out.

She just snarled again in response

"He can do it, Rose" Alice said, glaring at her.

"Humph" Rosalie grumbled and flipped her hair. I rolled my eyes.

I continued my slow walk. As I approached, the child behind Rosalie let one side of her face come out from behind Rose's leg. She put her hand below Rosalie's knee. Rose patted her head in response. For the first time I've seen this child, I noticed I couldn't read her thoughts; all I got from her head was silence. From children her age, I could usually see just what they were seeing but brighter colors and simple thoughts; happy ones. I didn't see anything. I've never experienced anything like it. I felt my eyebrows furrow in concentration, trying to read her mind. I bent down on one knee and leaned my elbow my kneeled knee. Everybody reacted and hovered over the child. Emmett put one strong hand my shoulder and Carlisle had my other.

"Guys, he can handle it, trust me" Alice said.

When Alice spoke, the toddler looked at her and a smile broke across her face. Alice grinned back and the child giggled. It was like a soft little bell. It was a sweet sound.

Her big chocolate brown eyes turned back to me, they did not look frightened or scared, they merely looked...curious? I felt my face reflect mine. _What_ is going through her mind? I didn't care if it was simple, I wanted to know. Her eyes narrowed and she made her whole face visible. She was even more adorable in person I had to admit. Her cheeks were flushed and looked like rose petals with a natural dent of concentration in her forehead, but it was, like in Alice's memory, her eyes that held me there. They were so big and deep, it felt like I could stare into them for miles. She stared back at me with curiosity.

Her head cocked to the side. I let out a low chuckle, as soon as I did I released I breathed in her scent. It was so sweet and delicious, venom filled my mouth. I tensed underneath Emmett and Carlisle's hands. My hand turned into a claw on my knee. Alice gasped and the girl was out of my site. _No!_ I wasn't done yet, I had to figure out what was going on inside that head!

"No" I managed, my voice sounded rough, strained. "Its okay." I looked at Rosalie who had the child in her arms now. "I promise, Rosalie" I stood up and their hands moved along with my body movements.

I didn't know what I was doing but I wanted to as I held out my hands for the girl. Rosalie growled menacingly at me. Alice looked at me. "_Can you handle it?" _her eyes were terrified. I nodded once. _Please_ I wanted to say _I can do it_. Some feeling inside me made me want to hold her, to have her close to me, to protect her. The girl looked at Rosalie and Alice, confused, still not frightened. I held my hands out longer.

Rosalie glared furiously at me. She had never had a child before nor could she ever have it and if I killed the girl, she would probably bite my head off.

Alice sighed; "Do it" she looked at Rosalie. Rosalie growled at her and held the child out to me carefully. She looked so fragile. I heard her heart start beat twice as much. Her eyes got impossibly bigger, _still _not frightened, just some kind of uplift feeling...excitement? This child was so strange. I, very carefully, slid my hands under her warm arms. Her heart fluttered. I smiled slightly.

I held her against my body but not completely, I was already so terrified of hurting her. As she gazed at me, I looked back and wondered to myself how I could loathe her. She was so innocent and warm and fragile. My face crumpled in pain, she shouldn't be hated, not just by me but everyone, she should be loved. She looked at me bewildered for a moment and then suddenly her face brightened into a smile like the sun rising in the morning. It was so beautiful.

My breath hitched breathing in her sweet scent. I tensed myself, resisting. I would not kill her. If she was going to be part of my family, I would have to get used to her scent, desensitize myself with it. So I did something that made everyone gasp, I gently hid my face in her hair and breathed in her smell; my throat burst into flames, I struggled resisting with the thought of her dying because of me. She leaned into my face, and I think I heard a little sigh. I smiled.

"its okay" I heard Esme whisper to someone. She sounded passionate and proud.

"Yes" I spoke softly into her hair "it is" I looked up. I looked into Bella's deep eyes, "Welcome to the Family, Bella" I whispered to her and smiled. Her smile turned into a grin and she giggled. I promised myself then, she was going to be part of me no doubt, I would protect her, keep her safe, no body would hurt her, if it were it would be I. I winced but vowed to keep my promise.


	4. Chapter 4: Unique

Phasing Moon

Chapter 4: unique

Alice's POV

Playlist

Hoppipolla- Sigur Ros

Brighter Day-

Bella was soon accepted into our family after Edward held her. I saw warmth in his eyes that I haven't seen before in the 40 years I've known him. I felt my lips stretch to the corners of my mouth. He didn't love her yet, but he would...eventually. Bella continued to smile at him, completely comfortable, it looked as if she was more comfortable than in my arms. I mentally shrugged, she would love me the most anyway so no need to worry.

Then I saw Carlisle's eyebrows furrow at the child. That sign of pain crossed his face again. Just then, I saw a pair of crimson eyes. Edward and I gasped simultaneously as the golden eyes of my family and brown of Bella turn to stare at me. I bent to my knees and grabbed my head. Jasper was at my side in an instant, his hands on my shoulder. That vision wasn't possible. Not for Bella

"Alice, what did you see?" He whispered softly into my ear.

I turned, wrapped my arms around him, and hid my face in his chest.

"Bella" I choked as he wrapped his arms around me, returning the unexpected embrace.

"_No_" Edward growled. I heard Bella gasp as well. Edward patted something softly, her back? Bella grunted and I heard Edward set her down. Small, soft footsteps came closer. Something warm touched the back of my shoulder that was showing. I looked up from Jasper's chest to see Bella staring at me, worried. Jasper was starring at her with restraint in his eyes. I patted his arms and he let go of me. Bella ran and threw her little arms around me; comforting _me_ about _her_ future. I hugged her tiny, warm shoulders. She buried her head in my shoulder.

She released me and looked me into the eyes. The dent in her forehead became more dominant. Her lips parted slightly. My eyes narrowed at her. What was she doing? I looked at Edward for an answer. His eyes were wide as he shrugged. He couldn't read her mind? This child was very odd.

"ah..." was all that came out of her mouth. I raised an eyebrow at her. The sound was soft, light, natural...

"What is it, Bella?" I asked her. Could she talk?

"Aw..." She struggled. Her eyes became frustrated. I looked at her deeper.

"Awi..." Then it clicked in my mind. She was trying to say my name. I grinned, she knew me already. She grinned back and giggled.

"Aw...Aw" She sighed and kept trying, getting the first part of name correct. "...Awice..." She looked up and grinned at me. I stretched my smile as far as it could.

Everyone looked at her with such admiration, even Edward, though he seemed more amused. I stuck my tongue at him.

I turned back to Bella and hugged her, cradling her head. I looked up at Edward's concerned eyes. We hadn't forgotten the vision. _It won't come true _I thought.He still looked scared. I sent him the more clear vision of her human self and our family. His face smoothed out slightly. _I promise _I thought to both of them.

* * *

_7 years later..._

Edward's POV

I ran my hands across the piano keys as the soft melody filled the room. I stopped and wrote down the notes on the blank score sheet of music. Sunrays filled the pale room and I saw my skin reflect rainbows onto the white piano. It was a very rare sunny day in Forks. Everything was sparkling, the grass, the water, the sky. This kind of weather always made me want to sit and play for hours.

Everyone had left to go hunting, leaving me behind. It was just the two of us; Bella and I. It has been seven years since I came home to find her here. I still keep my distance from her, but I do my best to be accepting, she's only a young child, she didn't realize how much danger she was in.

The song had unconsciously moved to a more melancholy tone. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped and changed to a lighter piece. "Brighter Day" that made more sense; I wrote this when I had seen my whole family in the sunlight together; it was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Though, I just felt the notes making themselves up in my mind.

I heard very light pages turning from the third floor bedroom. I never minded Bella being in my bedroom, she was always interested in the kinds of books I had, they were much advanced but she didn't seem to care; she loved the stories. Most of the time, one of us read them to her, so it's probably one I've read to her already. She can't read very well enough for those books yet, but still advanced.

Besides, her being my room helps me desensitize myself, it was still very hard to be around her but I kept doing it. Although, I hadn't held her since that day she became part of the family. Sometimes I had to touch her, if we were in public like holding her hand crossing the street and all, though she seemed to be aware of the cars. I winced at the thought of her becoming part of the road. I continued the song, trying to keep it in the natural bright mood.

Suddenly, I heard a little humming sound and sound of a book being closed. She hummed along to the notes, she had heard the piece many times but she never seemed to get bored, not only from this piece but from all the others. Bella loved hearing me play, and sometimes, she would hum along, like now. I smiled to myself and continued to play.

When Bella would hum, it was like she was opening a gate to her mind, all I could see was her enjoying the music I play in admiration. Although, I didn't know what Bella thought of me; she probably thought of me as odd and sometimes a monster. I frowned and struggled to keep the light piece. _Its better this way_ I told myself and concentrated on the music.

I added extra notes in it, trying to make it more extraordinary, put more of a positive feeling into it. The humming began to fade out as I gradually lowered the volume of the song until the only sound was the river and bird chirping. I took a deep breath, rose from the chair, and walked over to the window. Rainbows from my skin reflected onto the glass.

I looked up, not a cloud in the sky. Very rare in Forks indeed. The river was calm as little ripples broke the surface creating sparkles of water droplets. Occasionally, a fish would jump out of the water, glide through the air, and dive back into the light blue waters. Birds swooped down and grabbed breakfast from the waters and went back to chirping. It was very peaceful. The whole world seemed to be peaceful. For some reason, this was one of the times, I wished I could sleep, to escape reality, and to be in peace for a few hours. I sighed.

At the same time, I heard a soft, little snore from upstairs. Bella's heart was slow and steady as she breathed deeply in and out. It seems Bella took in the peace to take a nap. I smirked; it was like she heard my desires and went to sleep.

I felt something that I sometimes feel around Bella. I wanted to go se her, check on her, make sure she was okay, although, she sounded fine from down here. I sighed; _it wouldn't hurt her to go check, Edward _I told myself. I nodded to myself and shot up the stairs.

I carefully opened the to my room to see Bella's little form, sleeping on my couch. She was still wearing her nightwear; sweats and a t-shirt. One hand was under her neck and the other was hanging off the side. Her hair was in a little pony tail swayed behind her neck and her bangs covered her forehead, in a messy fashion. Though, she looked so _peaceful_. I idly wondered what she was dreaming about. I knew she talked in her sleep, but I never checked to hear, I felt like a peeping tom. The curiosity sometimes makes me want to go to her bedroom and listen to what she saying, but I never did

I made myself so silent you could hear a pin drop. My throat was burning from her scent, but I breathed it anyway and let myself feel the pain. I winced and went over to pick up the book. It was _"The prince and the pauper"_. She loved romance stories, I would have to get her to see _"Romeo and Juliet"_ when she was older, she would probably love it. I carefully put the book back into her part of the shelf. Her part was the books that I either grew tired of reading or had bought them just for her. I was willing to do anything to make this child happy.

"...Alice..." Bella mumbled. I was about to turn around to see if she awakened but she remained in her peaceful trance. "...Emmett..." She whispered again. She shifted and to make her face, face the ceiling. Huh, you would think she would be dreaming of the book but Bella is a unique child.

I made myself across the room and grabbed a blanket from one of the shelves. I kept them just incase she was cold. She loved coming into my room for books and music, although, she always knocked and ask shyly if she could read a book. I would give her a polite smile and allow her in. I would put on soft music and she would sit and read while I would write in my journals. Sometimes, I would occasionally breathe in her scent, and let it burn my throat; sometimes it would make me snap my pencil.

I lightly put the blanket over her sleeping form without touching her with my skin, it would surely wake her up.

"Ed...ward..." She sighed, I looked back to see if she had woken but she only smiled in her sleep. "Edward.." She mumbled again and turned to her left side, where I could not see her anymore. I turned, smiled, and closed the door silently behind me. What a very unique child she was.


	5. Chapter 5: Celebration

Phasing Moon

Chapter 5 : Celebration

Bella's POv

It was very dark. My arms were wrapped around my knees in a fetal position on the freezing cold ground. I looked down to see myself wearing a long white dress and no shoes. My heart was losing its rhythm, my breathing was slowing. My arms and legs were becoming weak, I couldn't hold on. I shivered as the ground grew impossibly colder.

Warm salt water tears fell down my cheeks. I was ready to cry myself to death until I saw a bright light. It was bright and warm on my skin. I looked up in my blurry vision to see the sun. I gasped. I was wrong. It wasn't the sun; no, the man was much more beautiful than that. I looked up to see two bright, warm, golden eyes starring down at me. I couldn't see anything else of his form, it was covered by light, I strained my eyes to see who he was but all I could see was his eyes. His eyes were the light in my darkest hour. I felt unfamiliar warmth race to my cheeks.

The man reminded me of my family. They were vampires. Yes, I knew their secret. I was trusted not to tell a soul or else it would end in disaster, though they never told me why. The curiosity was sometimes unbearable but Carlisle said "it's better not to know, Bella". I learned all the things about vampires including the extra powers Jasper, Alice, and Edward had. Jasper could feel and influence emotions around him. Alice had the power to see the future but it was never set in stone, things could change. And Edward could read thoughts that were going through people's minds, except for mine. He would tease me and tell me I was some kind of freak, although sometimes he would look at me with such curiosity in his eyes and ask me what I was thinking and I would tell him.

I asked if my blood ever appealed to any of them but they just said they could resist, and it didn't hurt; the first part was true but I wasn't sure about the second part.. They probably didn't want to scare me away, which was impossible, I'm strong enough.

The stranger held out a pearl white hand to me. I untangled a hand from my leg and reached for him shakily. He slid his palm under mine and I felt an unusual electricity run through my vein. I took in a ragged breath and my whole form started shaking. The scary part was, though, I wasn't doing it. It felt as if someone was shaking me but no one was around except the man.

He opened his mouth revealing darkness inside "Bella!" came out of it. I raised an eyebrow because that voice didn't belong to the man in front of me. "Bella, wake up!" It was an angel's, chirpy voice, a familiar voice...

Something cold was touching my arm and constantly shaking it. My eyes snapped open to see the white ceiling of my room vibrating roughly.

"_Finally_!" I looked over to see Alice's pixie face at my left side, her cold, white hand still on my arm. Alice was my adopted sister but I would think of her more as my best friend. She was always there with me in every situation I've gotten into. She always seems so confident with everything and that's one of the features about her that I simply loved. Although, her persistence was another thing. I blinked a few times, recovering from the heavy stupor.

"Good morning, Alice" I said my voice quite and rough from sleeping. "Um, what are you doing in my room? You know I'm capable of waking myself up with the alarm clock" I pointed my thumb at my clock that indicated it was nine-thirty.

"Bella, don't you know what day it is?" Alice asked excited.

"Um..." I pursed my lips and looked at my calendar which indicated today was September, 13. It was my seventeenth birthday.

Alice sighed and slowly shook her head, "Sometimes, as a best friend and sister, you are a disappointment."

I thought about it for a minute. "I think I can live with that" I grinned at her. I wanted to see how long I could go without Alice noticing that I knew. I didn't want the attention today. This day simply _had _to be my birthday; Alice was probably planning a _huge _party. I groaned. She is an unstoppable force of nature.

She smiled back, smug. She knew. So I sighed. "Yes, Alice, its my birthday, okay? Alright" I threw myself off the bed and started walking but her stone hard hand caught my shoulder.

"You don't think you'd get away that easily do you?" She said into my ear.

"Alice" I groaned again, "Please? I don't want a big party and stuff" I turned to look at her bright eyes.

"C'mon Bella! Please? And the party won't be _that_ big! I can tell" Alice tapped her temple then clasped her hands in front of me and puckered her lips. It was a heartbreaking expression.

I sighed, resigned. I hated upsetting anyone in my family, especially Alice. "Fine, Alice. Give me a party and presents but _please _don't go over board"

"Small Party. No overboard. Got it" Alice grinned and waved dismissively, showing her sharp white teeth. I rolled my eyes at her. She grabbed my hand and ran down the stairs. She was faster than human pace

"Alice! Slow down! Not everyone has super vampire speed!" I said as she almost threw me down the stairs.

All I heard was her silvery laugh. She turned back and grinned at me. It was so beautiful with her white teeth. As I looked up from the steps, I saw my whole family waiting for me with smiles on their faces. Esme stepped out of Carlisle's arm and walked towards me, arms open.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart" Her cold arms hugged my shoulder. I hugged her back. I mumbled a "thanks" in her ear. She released me and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

Esme was always one of the most loving people I knew. She had such a kind heart. She always knows how comfort me when I was upset. I needed her a lot because it still hurts to never know who my parents are, when I was younger, she'd wrap her arms around me, cradle my head, and rock me back and forth and murmur comforting things to me, how lucky I was to have a family, that my parents loved me and always would, how they were looking down from heaven and watching me always.

Carlisle took and his turn and wrapped his arms around me. He released me and looked up and down my form. "You're growing up too fast, Bella" He smiled. I shrugged and smiled at him. Carlisle was such a good father to me. He has taken care of me since I was a baby .He will always be there when I fall, just like the rest of my family. He supported whatever choices I made. He'd never hesitate to give me something, no matter how ridiculous. Though, I didn't ask for a lot, I already had so much.

Suddenly these two big arms caught me up into a tight bear hug; Emmett. I gasped at first and then choked out a laugh.

"Scared ya'' he said in my ear.

I laughed, breathless "More taken by surprise, Emmett"

"Whatever you say, Birthday girl. Happy seventeen, Bell" He put me down and grinned. I grinned back and giggled. Emmett was always there to make me laugh, even when I didn't want to. He liked to make fun of me and my klutziness. If I merely miss a step then he's on the floor for god knows how long. In the end, I would either laugh or glare. Although, I always found Emmett the scariest of them all but he can be as soft as a teddy bear.

Rosalie came up from behind him and kissed me cheek. "Happy Birthday, Bella. You two years closer to becoming a woman, now" I snorted and she smiled angelically at me. Rosalie was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met. Her beauty still stuns me to this very day with her long blonde hair and perfectly shape form, and her bright eyes were complimented by her hair. She can be pretty shallow sometimes, but at others she's very sweet and loving.

Then another cold hand touched my shoulder and left it. "Happy Birthday, Bella" Jasper said quietly. Jasper was a usual quite one. Sometimes I really had to wonder what his deal was with me. Alice had always said it wasn't me, he just a personal problem and I would sigh. Jasper smiled lightly at me, I hesitantly returned it.

It was only then that I notice Alice had disappeared and that Edward was nowhere to be seen. Ah, Edward. He was very different from everyone else, but it didn't make him a bad person. In my opinion, he was like Apollo with his creative skills in arts and his good personality. He was always very hesitant around me as if he wasn't sure what to do. At times I would see this look of fury on his face for no reason; I would want to ask him what's wrong but kept my mouth shut. He, like Rosalie, seemed to stun me with his beauty. He was one of the most handsome men I've ever met. We're not as close as I am with the rest of the family and I try to change that, its just I'm too worried he'll reject me. He was the one of the family I was mostly unsure around but he was also the one of the family that I was the most mesmerized with.

"Hey, where are Alice and Edward?" I asked Rosalie, she grinned and shrugged her white shoulders. I could easily see she knew where they were. I sighed.

"Well while we're waiting, Bella" Carlisle said and I brought my attention to him "how about we open some presents?" He seemed excited.

"Sure" I blushed. I wasn't comfortable with them giving me presents, I already had so much. Esme took my hand and led me to the big pale blue couch and sat down. She kept my hand and squeezed it

"Mine and Jazz's first" Emmett grinned, walked over to the table and got a square shaped box wrapped in silver wrapping paper off the table. He threw it to me but should have known better when it slipped through my waiting hands and fell to the ground. Emmett was laughing before it hit the ground.

"Funny, Emmett. I hope it wasn't fragile" I said, sarcastically. I neatly ripped the paper off of the box and opened it up to find a shiny new silver CD player.

"The one in your room is crap so we figured, since Edward lets you borrow so many CD's, you needed proper sound equipment." Emmett said, trying to act like a teacher.

I snorted. "Thanks, Emmett. Thank you, Jasper" I said looking at both of them and smiling.

Jasper smiled, "He wanted to get you a pink one but I objected. It's not your color" He laughed while Emmett grimaced.

I laughed. "I would have guessed so much" and put the box on the empty side of the sofa.

Carlisle grabbed a little rectangular box and handed it to me. "From me and Esme" I smiled and took the box. I ripped the paper off to see a white box. I lifted the cap and saw tickets to something. I picked them up and sat it said_** Romeo and Juliet, September 30. Admit one seat. row: A seat: 4 **_There was only one though.

"Oh my goodness" I said, I grinned. They knew it was my favorite play. "Thank you so much!" I hugged Esme and Carlisle. "This means so much! Thank you!" I said, looking at the tickets.

"Yes, Edward and Alice are going to go with you, they want to see it too" He smiled.

"Alright, I'll love it! Thank you!" I hugged them once more.

"We're glad you like it, Sweetheart" Esme said, kissing my forehead.

"We're ready!" Alice's voice yelled from the garage. _She didn't_ I thought. I already saw it coming; a shiny, _fast_, sports car. I gulped; I would literally become part of the road. If she thought I would like it then she would be dead wrong. They all liked driving fast cars; Edward with his Volvo, Emmett with his jeep, Rosalie with her convertible, and Carlisle with his Mercedes; all shiny and fast. Then I noticed Rosalie was gone too.

I got up from the couch, unsteady. I was about to collapse when Carlisle caught me. "We promise, it's not what you think it is" He put his hands on my shoulders and guided me to the garage.

"Your it and my it are probably two different things, Carlisle" I said, laughing shakily.

"We'll see" I could hear his smile in his voice. Esme held my hand and we walked into the garage.

I stopped. Everything was the same. I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "It's the same" I stated, feeling like an idiot.

"It's not in here. It's out there" Carlisle said and gestured to the garage doors that opened in front of me. I saw something red as the door moved up. I walked up to the door as it finished opening and gasped.

The car was classic; it was a truck. It looked liked an old Chevy but it looked like it had been tweaked a little. The headlights had been replaced, it had a brand new paint job with a light red color into it, the windows had no hint of spec on them and the tires were all the same and looked new. Although, the tweaks didn't take away the classicalness of it, I could see myself driving in it and not crashing. I stood there, gaping at the wonderful vehicle.

"Bella?" Alice asked and skipped over to where I was standing. "Do you not like it?" She sounded hurt. I slowly shook my head.

"You like it?!" She said excited. I shook my head again

"Love it?" a little less confident. I nodded, still gaping. I heard Edward chuckle. I looked over. He was by the driver side of the truck and Rosalie was on the passenger side.

"Yay!" She squealed and caught me up in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you love it!"

"It's wonderful, Alice, of course I love it!" I said, hugging her back.

"It's like you read my mind, I swear Alice" I looked at her bright, excited eyes. Edward choked a laugh. I looked at his amused eyes and grinned at him. Well he could read hers.

"I knew you wouldn't want a sports car" Alice said, I gazed my eyes back to her "I know you're into classics and well we found one. Rose fixed it up and I helped pick out the car" I gazed back to Edward.

"What did Edward do?" I asked Alice, I caught she didn't list him in contributes to the truck.

"Actually Bella, I have my own present to you, it's inside the truck" Edward's velvet voice said as I looked over back at him again. I walked over to him. He smiled and opened the driver's side door for me. I blushed and looked down at the seats.

I took in the interior of my new truck to see the seats had been replaced too but still classic. It had the smell of freesia inside and I looked over to see a scent tree hanging from the rear-view mirror. I looked down to see it was a stick shift. I smiled, smug, I already knew how to drive a stick, just incase. I put my hands on the steering wheel, feeling the smooth texture of it and running down the cold middle, making sure not to honk the horn. I put my hands on the wheel and my feet on the pedals just as I learned in driver's education classes.

I didn't realize my window was rolled down as Edward put his head inside. "Sorry it's a stick, we couldn't find another car like that without one" I gasped as he spoke. It was a natural reaction when people come up to me like that. Edward knew.

"I already know how to drive one though. Just incase" I smiled.

He smiled back, showing his white teeth. "Good. Well my present is in the glove compartment" his smile fell a little. "I would understand if you don't like it"

"That's ridiculous, Edward. Shouldn't it be the thought that counts?" I asked, trying to cheer him up.

It worked, he laughed. "Yes it is" he laughed again. I took a second to listen to it. It was better than an angel's chorus. His beautiful smile returned and his eyes were bright and excited. I smiled, relieved.

I reached over to the glove compartment but froze. I turned back to Edward.

"Do you want to sit next to me while I open it? I mean, it is your present" I felt my face burning. I bit my lower lip. I shouldn't have asked but...I wanted him to watch with me.

He looked surprised for a moment, his eyes wide and eyebrows up. He was almost a statue. I bit lip harder, very much regretting I asked. Then he blinked a few times and the statue came back to life.

"If you wish for me to, Bella" his voice was quieter than usual but he opened the drivers door and sat next to me. I looked out the window while he did so and saw that Alice and Rosalie had left. They must have wanted Edward to give his gift in private. I smiled in their direction.

I turned my smile at him, he smiled a tiny bit back, and I opened the glove compartment to find a medium, flat box wrapped in blue wrapping paper. I ripped the paper off to find the back of a picture frame. I felt my eyebrows pucker. I turned it over to see the picture of my parents and me when I was a baby. I always carried the picture with me; it was all I had of them. The picture in this frame was clearer and brand new. I put my hand to my mouth and my vision got blurry.

"I always knew how much you carried the picture so I figured you would have this one in your room or wherever you would like to put it. I know how much they mean to you." Edward said, softly.

Tears spilled over my cheeks. Edward was one of the most wonderful people in my life; I'd never be able to repay this.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to make you cry. I shouldn't have gotten it" Edward sounded so hurt and concerned; I was hurt that he was hurt actually. He caught a loc of hair that had been in my face and placed it behind my ear, hardly touching my skin. He gently smoothed my hair leaving his hand lightly on my shoulder.

I shook my head and let out a soft laugh through my sobs. "No, Edward...I'm not crying because I'm sad.... I'm crying because I'm happy...this is one of the most precious gifts anyone could ever give to me. Thank you." I looked at his golden eyes with sincerity

He smiled with sincere warmth and his eyes burned into mine "You're welcome."

I lost my train of thought, and all I could focus on were his eyes. They were so warm and gold. I blinked a few times, collecting my thoughts.

"Um..." I blinked a few more times. "I'll put this in my room"

He grinned. "Excellent"

We both got out of the truck and began walking into the house when I saw Edward walk in my direction. I stopped and raised an eyebrow. He was very deliberate. He slid his long arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest. He was hugging me. I froze. I don't remember the last time Edward even held me. My heart burst into sprint. Even though his touch was cold, I felt warm in his embrace. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head across his chest. My cheeks burst into flames. I felt a strange electrical current running through us, it wasn't painful but it was a relieving kind of feeling, as if I was relieved from the pain that never came; it was extraordinary. He stroked my hair with very careful movements.

"I'm so sorry, Bella" He whispered in my ear. It wasn't about my crying. I could tell he thought he had been a horrible person to me for never really getting to know me as well as everyone else and never touching me, for never being there for me like everyone else, for never being there when I fall. I could tell there was a reason but he didn't want to tell me.

"It's okay" I reassured him. He squeezed me and let go. We smiled at each other. I could still feel the electric current surging through the air.

"Let's go back inside" Edward said, gesturing to the house. I nodded and we walked into our family that would forever stay together, forever.


	6. Chapter 6: Vision

Phasing Moon

Chapter 6: Vision

Edward's POV

Playlist

Boredom had seemed to be my dominant feeling at the moment. It was lunch and I just kept staring at the cracks in the wall ignoring the burn in my throat from Bella, who was sitting two seats from me; Alice was between us. It was one of the times in my life I wish I could sleep. It would at _least _give me something to do and not be part of boredom anymore.

I sighed. Bella looked up from her salad and at me. Her big brown eyes stared at me with curiosity as if they were saying: _Are you okay? _I just shook my head at her and continued staring the wall. Alice tried chatting with her when lunch first started but she didn't seem to cooperate, she wanted to eat in peace. Bella never seemed to mind to be the only one eating out of all of us; she knew how to make situations comfortable. We've suggested to her to go sit with her human friends but she wanted to sit with us more. I actually wanted her to be close to us, I didn't like the thoughts of those human boys about her, especially Mike Newton. His thoughts about Bella just get me ready slam him into the wall and crush his skull while I'm at it. I cannot imagine those thoughts about her becoming reality; Bella is much smarter than that. But there's something else, I just don't _want _her to be with him and his disgusting thoughts. He only thinks like that when she goes to sit with them sometimes which puts my mind at rest.

Suddenly, I heard a high pitch, blood- curdling scream and I knew who it belonged to, and I looked at Bella in panic. She was at ease and then she saw my expression and became concerned and worried. I looked at Alice who had a blank expression on her face that I always knew what it meant. Then I saw it all. Bella was running, blood streaming down her arm, screaming that scream that made me want to curl up in a ball. Then I saw a white figure tackling her to the ground. My breath hitched, pain shot into my heart. All I could see was a vampire with blond hair then the image flicked to Bella's pale face and he bit into her neck. Her scream shot into my mind once again. If I was human, I'd probably throw up, I couldn't stand seeing her like that, it hurt much more than it should. I shook my head furiously, banishing the vision from my just as Alice gasped and blinked a few times. Everyone was starring at me and Alice.

"Alice" Bella said in panic, touching her arm. "What's wrong?" Alice's eyes flickered around for a moment, trying to banish it from her mind, just as I did. Her panicked eyes rested on me for half a second then turned back to Bella.

"Alice!" Bella said, more panicked. She shook Alice, trying to get her to snap out of it. Alice blinked and returned her face to a normal calm expression.

"Well, that was unexpected" Alice rubbed her head.

"Are you alright, Alice?" Jasper asked and patted her knee. All of us felt calmness spread through us. I welcomed it, I couldn't panic, it would only make Bella panic and I would not have that.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" She said and smiled at him. I relaxed my expression. I looked at Bella who was staring at me already. That dent of concentration was dominant in her forehead again. Ah, the frustration running through. _What is she thinking? _

"What are you thinking?" I said, staring deeper into her big brown pools of eyes. Her breathing hitched and she blinked.

"Um, wondering, I mean, are you okay?" She stuttered, half embarrassed, half worried. Blood rushed to her cheeks, she looked at her hands. I half smiled.

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Bella" She stared at me with concern anyway. I smiled reassuring at her. Her eyes narrowed as she turned back to Alice.

"What did you see?" Bella said in a hushed voice.

"I just saw some other vampires coming. Soon." Alice lied and looked at Jasper then me.

"Should we be worried?" Bella asked. Her heartbeat sped up

"Not at all, we'll just have to keep an eye on you just for safety precautions. Don't worry about this, Bella." Alice patted Bella's arm, I could imagine how it feels; soft, and warm...

"Alright..." Bella said. She wasn't letting it go, I could tell. Bella was stubborn that way.

The bell rang and I walked with Bella to Biology, we had that class together. As we walked, every so often, Bella would stare at me for a moment, with that same concern, and then turn back to walking. I wanted to take her hand and tell her it was okay, she seemed so scared but I kept my hands at my sides.

Whenever I thought of touching, my memory would immediately jump to her birthday a month ago. The way I held her in my arms, she was so warm, so soft. It made my whole body warm from her touch. There was also some kind of electric sensation from the touch. There were little sparks occurring and it felt extraordinary. I wanted to hold her closer, to never let go. But if I clutched her anymore, I would break her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself by killing Bella.

We reached the Biology room. I opened the door and gestured for Bella to go first. She blushed as usual and went in. I kept my pace right behind her. Some lost strands of her hair flew into my face. Her scent was stronger than ever, I clenched my clawed hands into fists. _Control yourself _, I told myself.

She sat down in her usual seat, slamming her books down as she let out a gust of breath from the impact. I choked out a laugh. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I sat down in my seat as well, and spread the books onto my desk without looking at them. There was no need. I knew more than Mr. Banner could imagine.

I folded my arms in front of my chest, rested my chin on them, and sighed. It was going to be a long hour. I heard Bella sigh too, but it was different, more frustrated. I turned my head to look at her and she looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed and facing at a southern angle; frustrated. I could tell she wanted to know what Alice's vision was about. I always wanted to give Bella what she wanted, I wanted her to enjoy her life and have gifts part of them. But this was a gift I could not give her; I would not scare her away.

"Alright, class, let's get started" Mr. Banner came through the door, adjusting his glasses. "Today, we will be discussing the features of DNA cells in Cactuses now if you would just..." I drowned Mr. Banner out of my system as I always do. I looked at the clock. Fifty-six minutes to go. I sighed. I picked up my pencil and started playing with it; sliding it between my fingers. This was not a good way to distract myself, but I tried to numb the panic in me for Bella.

Suddenly my book in front of me disappeared; I looked up to see Bella flipping through the pages. I raised an eyebrow at her for she already had a book. She flipped it to a page then set it down in front of me. I looked up to see the lesson we were on today. Then I caught the suspicious thoughts of Mr. Banner. _That Cullen kid never seems to pay attention, yet he gets every question I give to him right, every test he is given is aced, he could be a college graduate for all I know. _I restrained a smile. I have been a college graduate more than he could imagine. I turned my gaze to Bella, who smiled sheepishly at me and turned back to her book. Her cheeks started to turn bright scarlet. It was beautiful even if it burned my throat.

I heard the sound of a pencil scratching on paper. Bella dropped her pencil on the table, picked it up, turned it over and erased her mistake she then resumed writing. I resumed staring into space. A paper slid under my arm. I unfolded it and scripted in Bella's hand, a note.

I sighed. I hated lying to anyone, especially Bella. She deserved better. The guilt began to crush me. I put my hand to my forehead and squeezed it; I sucked in a fiery breath. She took the note and wrote something down on it, and slid to me again. Her heart was beating short jagged rhythm. She was nervous.

The cold, silent heart in my chest, suddenly felt a lot warmer. She cared for me. She didn't want anything to happen to me, as I did for her; only my feeling was very much stronger. All these years, I thought she feared me, yet she only feared of losing me. Though there was the other part of the note, telling her the truth. I couldn't bear to see her afraid, though she said she wasn't. I don't know if I could trust that statement, I never get her reactions right but I'm not taking my chances here in a classroom. So I took the paper and wrote down my message in a millisecond, then slid it over to her.

I will tell you at home, I promise

She opened it and gave me a guarded look. "You better" she mouthed. Ah, her and her fury, it was quite amusing. She did not scare me it was like seeing a kitten try to be as ferocious as a tiger. I smiled slightly and nodded. She turned her big brown eyes to the front of the room. This was going to be a difficult night tonight.


	7. Chapter 7: The Truth

Phasing Moon

Chapter 7: The truth

Bella's POV

Edward and I remained in silence throughout the rest of the Biology class. He didn't even look at me again, his face was expressionless. I wouldn't let him or our family keeps the secret from me. That vision was about me, I could tell. The look on Edward's face, it sent pain to my heart to see him that way, looking at me with nothing but fear and agony. His face was frozen in that expression for that endless second. I couldn't stand it. I know Alice probably tell me but Rosalie would stop her, fearing it would terrify me. Edward was my only hope and since everyone was going hunting tonight, I'd have my chance.

The class continued to drag on. I barely paid attention, time seemed to separate itself from me. My eyes constantly drifted over to the clock, but the hands seemed to move slower every time I looked. I fold my hands in front of me and rested my chin on them, hoping if I fell asleep, no one would notice. I knew this lesson like the back of my hand; Carlisle and Edward tutored me _way _too much.

"Ms. Swan? Would you like to visit the nurse?" I heard Mr. Banner ask. I looked up to see a stern look that said, _"Please let me get you in trouble because I'm so bored". _I restrained a grimace. I caught a glance at Edward's perfect posture sitting in the seat. _Traitor, _I thought, somehow hoping he would hear, but he remained still.

"No, Mr. Banner, I'm fine, thank you" I said, trying to be as polite as possible, I felt all the eyes in the room rest on my back. My cheeks burst into flames.

"Well, then, keep your head up, please" He said, and turned back to the board.

"Yes, sir" I mumbled as I heard snickers and whispers. As if my face wasn't already on fire, it continued to burn. I bit my lip and looked down. The bell rang after fifteen minutes. I hastily collected my things, keeping my head down. I looked to see my books in the air, then the pearl, white hands holding them to me. Edward smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. I smiled sheepishly and took the books.

* * *

"Now, just call or holler to Edward if you need anything," Alice said after we got home. "We'll be back Sunday and _please _try not to hurt yourself"

I laughed, "I'll try my best, sis" I put my hand on her shoulder

She smiled but I could see the real warning in her eyes. She always gave me the same speech before the family would leave for a hunting trip. I understood that I was her sister and she wanted me protected but I knew she trusted Edward. Only she and Edward had stayed with me alone when the rest of my family left.

"See ya on Sunday, kiddo" Emmett mussed my hair and walked passed me. As he walked passed Edward, he extended his fist and Edward smashed his fist to Emmett's making a loud clash; I flinched.

"Be safe, sweetheart" Esme hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"Take care of each other" Carlisle said to me and Edward. He kissed my forehead and patted Edward's shoulder.

Rosalie said nothing but blew a kiss to me and sent Edward a parting grimace. Edward chuckled as she walked away. Jasper just looked at us both and left with the others, Edward closed the door after they quickly dashed away.

I heard him take a deep breath and he turned and faced me. His face was expressionless and I felt my face reflect his. My cheeks started to burn, and, as usual, I let my head drop. I gnawed on my lower lip, thinking of what to say. The tension in the air increased as the silence made my airs ring. I couldn't take it anymore

"Bella-"

"Edward-"

I looked up to Edward's concerned expression. "You first" I said

"Alright." His eyes swept the room before resting on mine again. There was nothing more in that moment I wanted than to cross the room and wrap my arms around Edward and comfort him. He looked like he was in so much...pain. "You don't need to know what it was about" His expression was clam but I could see the anguish in his eyes.

"Yes, I do" I looked him straight in the eyes. His expression became more pained. I wanted to kick myself in the gut for saying that but I could not lie.

"You're afraid" Edward stated simply, not a question, just a statement of fact. My heart thumped unevenly.

"I'm not" I choked. My teeth clenched together. That was a lie. I _was _afraid. This had been itching at me ever since lunch. Although, I was more worried about my family, would they be hurt trying to save me or whatever it was? The looked on Edward and Alice's faces, it was unbearable. That look Edward had given me; it was so horrorstruck, so much agony, so much fear, it broke my heart.

Edward smiled slightly, not touching his eyes again. "You're such a terrible liar." His face turned serious again after a moment. "Bella, if you were in any danger, you would be away from here faster than you can comprehend." He gently reassured.

I tried to keep as much of a poker face as possible, though, I could feel it breaking into a painful expression. So I sucked in a uneven breath of air and whispered "Please." I clenched my hands into fists and waited for an answer.

My only hope...was not enough to know the terrifying vision.

* * *

Edward's POV

I could barely take what pain was coming to me. Young Bella, so innocent and good, and I would give anything to her; except this.

Her fists clenched so tight, her knuckles turned white. Her heart was beating a uneven rhythm, emphasizing her fear; her head facing down, her dark hair covering her face. She sucked in a ragged breath.

"Please" her clear voice whispered. It was full of pain and agony with a hint of...hopelessness?

I opened my mouth to tell her, to put her out of her pain and misery. _No! _I screamed at myself. I snapped my mouth and my teeth together. I wanted so badly to tell her, the instinct to give her what she wanted was as strong as her scent.

So I whispered the words that I instantly regretted saying. 'I can't..."

I hear her sharp intake of air. She looked up and her eyes glistened with tears I'd caused. I'd made her _cry._

Emotions filled me. Anguish. Betrayal. Self-loathing. Hate. Agony. Self-fury. Guilt; Each one hitting me harder than the other.

One single tear fell from the corner of her left eye. I wanted to catch it and tell her everything was going to be okay.

She gently unclenched her teeth; "You promised..." her voice broke on the last word. More agonizing emotions filled my body. She looked at me and her big brown pools of eyes were full of betrayal. I had promised her, and I had broken it. If I were to tell her, this pain would be just as bad. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't even handle to think of that gruesome, absurdly unbelievable vision.

Bella let her head fall again and now into her hands for tears fell from her eyes. I wanted to burn my own mouth for causing her so much agony. Her hands turned into claws at her head.

I could not take it any longer as I stepped forward to comfort her. A second after I made the action, the girl took a step back and flinched. I felt my cold, silent heart become a boulder in my chest. I had done the worst mistake I could do. So much agony filled my body, if I were to be human, I would most likely die.

"Bella," I said her name with a rough strain in my voice.

She just shook her head, little tears ricocheting off her cheeks. She hesitantly took a step back. I held out a hand she couldn't see and then she sprinted up the stairs, nearly tripping twice. My first instinct was to go after her and stop her but then the better part of me told her to let her go. She would be okay.

My poor Bella, hurt, because of me. Distracted, by the sudden possessive thought that ran through my head, I contemplated it. Had I ever had a claim on that human girl? She was part of my family and certainly part of me. I guess she was somewhat mine. I did not have those feelings for her, though. She was my family, I loved her that way. I loved her not as a sister but as part of my family, which was stronger. Part of me, a human trait that was buried so many years ago, re-surfaced. I wanted to claim her, make her my own for the reason to protect her and always be there. I promised myself that that would be the last time I would ever cause her so much agony or I would die in the process.


	8. Chapter 8: The Slow epiphany

Phasing Moon Chapter 8: A slow epiphany

BPOV

I ran up the stairs, tripping constantly until I reached my room. I wrenched my door open and closed it a bit too hard and I threw myself onto my bed.

I crossed my hands and ducked my head into them. Pain washed through me, guilt and betrayal were my dominant emotion. Silent tears grazed my cheeks. I didn't wail; it would do nothing but cause more pain. I squeezed my blankets and my eyes shut. I held a whimper from coming from my chest; he would hear. I held it as my chest began to expand from the air being pulled in, a balloon was about to pop. I bit my lip so hard it started hurting. I sniffled into the pillow. _Hold it, Bella. _I told myself. My consciousness told me I needed air. _I don't care! _I screamed back at it. I squeezed until I couldn't feel my knuckles. Eventually, I couldn't take it and let out a loud uncontrollable whimper that turned to a wail. My pain echoed across the wall.

"Agh!" I cried and slammed my fist to the pillow. My heart thumped loudly in small chest. I wish it would stop beating. I wish I would be beautiful. I wish I would be pearl white, and smooth as satin. I wish I had a voice that would put an angel's to shame. I wish I was strong and had light golden eyes. I wish I wasn't human. Maybe if I wasn't then I'd be able to handle the secrets my family keeps from me; that _Edward _keeps from me.

I slowly looked up. My blurry eyes rested on the photo by my bed. I wiped my eyes to see it clearly. It was me and Edward, a month ago at my birthday. I had been so happy for his embrace and had my arms around his waist. I had a big grin on my face, my brown eyes bright and excited. He had his arms wrapped around my shoulders, one of his hands holding my hair. His eyes were full of love and compassion. My vision got blurry again. I hugged the photo to my chest. _Why? _I asked to the photo. _Why won't you trust me? _Hot, fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. Pain reached my heart again.

"Because he won't" I whispered brokenly to myself. I put the photo of my happiness on my covers and continued to let my pain break through me.

_Why? _I this time asked myself. Why do I feel in so much pain? Just because Edward -Edward the one I am hardly close to in my family- doesn't trust me? Just because he doesn't have faith in me? I thought it would hurt more if Carlisle or Esme or Alice hadn't had that feeling for me. Why did Edward mean so much to me? Every time I was around him, every time I hear his voice, every time I look into his eyes, every time I see this wonderful man in front of me, why does my heart thump so unevenly? Why do I feel this electricity? Why? I had already known I had strong feelings for Edward but is it these feelings that are causing so much anguish and _agony _for me? Is it because of these strong emotions that he doesn't trust me? More cheeks rolled down my cheeks. _Probably _I told myself.

I wrapped my arms around my legs, and let myself wail. The wail was so loud it hurt my ears. This wasn't about the vision; it was just about how much it hurts not to have him trust me. I always trusted him. I always put one-hundred percent faith in him as well. _It's not enough, though_, I told myself. I took my covers and put my mouth over them to muffle the wail. Even though I was upset with him, I couldn't stand for Edward to hear my pain for it would hurt him. I put my fist on my mouth to help muffling which was doing any good as my cries bounced off the wall.

* * *

Darkness crept into my room as time passed. All I could see was the faint, pale light of a full moon. I still had my arms wrapped around my legs.

Thunder cracked in the distance and clashed. I flinched. I used to be afraid of thunderstorms when I was little. Memories flowed into my head, my eyes fluttered closed.

* * *

Esme would hold me for comfort but one time Carlisle took me with him outside on the porch. I sat on his lap and he told me that it was only nature taking its course.

"Let's just say that its doing a little show for you, Bella" He looked down and smile at me.

Lightning flashed and I squeezed my eyes shut. I told him it's not much of a show.

Thunder crackled then and hid my face in his chest. "Bella, that's just the thunder playing music." I listened again, and it did sound unique. Lightning flashed and I covered my eyes. He took my hands and held them. "The lightning is the visual beauty of the show" I looked at it again at the streaks across the sky, they were beautiful.

"and the rain?" I asked him.

He laughed and said "Well that's the confetti for such a great show." I laughed as well and continued to watch with my father.

* * *

A loud crash made me snap my eyes open and gasp. I looked outside to see the storm had gotten closer. Rain clattered against my windows like little pebbles. I relaxed my position and untied my hands from my legs. I stretched and let my muscles crack awake. My arms and legs were sore from my position. I blinked a few more times and my eyes burned. I had cried way too much. I rubbed my hands over my face.

I took a deep breath and sat up. It was then I noticed my bank was sore too. I crawled across the bed, picked up the picture frame I'd put there, and put it on my nightstand. I slid my feet over the edge of the bed and cool light wood floor touched my soles. My body stood straight as my weight rest on me.

I walked over to the window and watched lightning streak across the sky and thunder clash like a symphony to the ground. I caught my reflection. My hair was knotted in front of my face, lines had formed beneath my eyelashes and my eyes looked a little red. I looked like a mess.

Guilt started to creep slowly to me. How could I have acted that way? Just to allow my heart to force its tears from me? And worst of all, to have Edward hear it all, my whimpers and wails cutting through him like paper. I had to find him, I had to go and apologize to him. My heart thumped fast and excited. I took a shaky breath, held it and then let it out.

I tied my hair up and walked out the door. I stepped quickly down the stairs nearly tripping as many times as I came up. I slid my hand as loudly down the rail as possible but I knew he would already hear me. I made it down to the third floor and wrenched his door open without knocking. It was dark; usually Edward had his lights on or at least a candle. He was always in his room but it was empty. I felt a hint of fear hit me. He hadn't left had he? I walked fast and quickly stepped down the stairs more. With each step, I was closer and closer to panicking. He couldn't have left. I made it to the first floor at last and saw it was empty as well. I slowly walked around. I didn't speak at all; I didn't want to, there was a chance that if Edward heard me, he would ignore me. So I just kept looking, flickering lights on all over the house. He was nowhere to be found. Panic crept its way to me. Where had Edward gone?

I couldn't take it anymore, "Edward?" I called out to the house. No answer. "Edward!" I yelled into the empty house. Emptiness filled me, I couldn't feel myself. "Edward, please! Speak or appear if you can hear me!" I begged out, it sounded just as if I was talking to myself. Fear trickled back to me. Tears filled my eyes. I _had_ made him go away. _No! _My face fell into my hands. This time I wailed loud enough for the whole house to be filled with it.

Pain filled me as I knew I was alone. Would he come back? Would I ever see him again? "Edward!" I yelled again, it seemed useless as I cried out his name so many times. "Please!" I begged after his name sometimes. I let myself fall to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. I cried into my legs. "Please" I whispered again, tears ran from my cheeks to my legs. "Please..." I choked. "Don't leave me" I gasped for air and coughed the tears out again. "I'm so sorry..." I squeezed my legs tighter. "Edward" I let out as loud as I possibly could. Numbness crept to my body, he couldn't be gone. "Please" I let out again in a broken whisper. "I need you" Numbness filled me again; I couldn't feel anything but my broken heart. I felt the cold hard floor beneath me as darkness swallowed me whole.

* * *

It seemed like I was trapped inside my own body. I needed to know where _he_ was. I needed _him_, more than anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even feel my own heart; it felt as if it weren't there. _He_ was the only who could set me free

I was trapped in this everlasting darkness and as time grow longer, I continued to journey deeper and deeper. Emptiness was soon becoming my companion as it took over every inch of my body. All I could see and feel was darkness, emptiness, and numbness. It was my entire fault. I'd run him out of his own house. A part of me was screaming that he wasn't coming back and all I could blame was myself.

I continued to flow through darkness for what seemed forever. Each second in this state was endless. It was as if I was dead.

It was only then, I felt something touch my cheek. It was all I had felt for so much endless time. I couldn't tell if it was warm or not but I did feel pressure there. Then there was muffled sound. I struggled to hear it. I tried to swim through the darkness, to find the sound; it was my only hope of breaking free. It was still muffled. I tried to feel; my limbs, to find where the sound was coming through. I couldn't move anything. The muffled noise grew louder as I searched. I couldn't find my voice or my heart. All I could see was nothing. The sound was louder but not clearer. The thing that touched my cheek, moved to my forehead. What was _that? _I kept trying to search the darkness, to find my arms, or legs, or my voice, or my heart, anything I could respond with. The sound continued to echo through the shadows of my mind. I began to give up. There was nothing for me to hold onto, nothing for me to feel or touch or do or say.

The sound became more familiar. It was a voice, I knew that for sure. I couldn't make a good enough distinction of which voice it was. I felt my heart again. It thumped unevenly.

I couldn't even tell if the voice was a male or female, it was just as bad as when it was first heard. I felt emotions hit me all at once. Frustration. Hopelessness. Pain. Need. Cold. Electricity. Love....Edward.

Suddenly the sound transformed into the voice I'd been dying to hear ever since I'd woken from my crying sleep, "Bella..." it caressed my name with anxiousness. "Please..." he whispered in agony. "Wake up." His hand stroked my hair and cheeks, "Please..." it sounded as if he were crying. It was as if he were echoing me from before, begging to come back to be here. "

"I'm so sorry..." he echoed my exact words. I felt some of my limbs come back to life. I felt my fingers twitch. His cold hand moved to mine. "Bella, please, if you can hear me, do anything" I tried to twitch my fingers again and only lifted one finger. I was still so submerged in darkness. His sweet scent filled my nostrils. Edward was close. "Bella, please, I'm so very sorry I left you alone" I felt my whole hand twitch and eyelids started twitching. I swam harder and harder through the darkness. I need to see him. My eyelids continued to twitch. "Bella...please..." He squeezed my hands. "Wake up" I wanted to so badly answer him and I wouldn't hesitate if I could. "I need you..." My whole hand suddenly squeezed his. I fought the darkness. "Bella!" I fought the darkness more than ever.

Suddenly, I found my voice. "Edward!" I screamed. My eyes snapped open. It was all white at first until my vision cleared and saw the ceiling. I frantically searched for him until my eyes rested on his face. It was full of agony and despair and loss. I scrambled up from my position and throw my arms around my neck.

"Edward"

"Bella"

Both of our voices were full of relief and love. I squeezed his neck so much it would choke a regular human. He squeezed me too tight to his chest. I let a sob out of my chest and onto him.

"Don't..." I choked out the words and tears. I moved my head to his chest. "Don't...ever" I cried to his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. "don't ever...do that..." I breathed in his sweet, delicious scent. "again" His arms squeezed my shoulders. I felt his lips on the top of my head, an electric current rushed through me, strong than the other times. He'd never kissed me before anywhere, my heart thumped heavily.

"I will never. As long as you promise never to terrify me like that again" His lips moved down to my forehead. I lifted my head to put my forehead on his so I could see his golden eyes staring at me with relief and love. He put his hands on both sides of my face and looked me deep in the eyes.

"I promise" I choked. That was an easy promise to make. His fingers wiped tears from my eyes, I closed them. "Why?" I asked. He held me for awhile, stroking my hair, kissing my forehead and cheeks. Little shocks ran through me.

"I went to think about things." His soft voice said in my ear. I buried my head in his chest.

"You could have left a note" I said.

Surprisingly, he chuckled. "I know that _now_" He patted my back, stroked my hair, and calmed me down. "My Bella, what am I going to do with you?" My heart fluttered for he said I was _his_. It probably didn't have the same meaning for him as it did for me, but I was still filled with joy.

"Who knows?" I said, shrugging against him. He held my face again. He leaned and kissed my forehead once again.

"I'm so sorry, Bella" he whispered into my head.

"You've already been forgiven" I laid my head on his chest again, he held me there.

I realized why it hurt so much for him to not have trust or faith in me, why it hurt so much for him to be away from me, why I would always need him, why my heart always fluttered for him, why blood would always rush to my cheeks around him, why I wanted to call him mine. They all added up to the only emotion that could break my heart. I was in love with Edward. I loved him and not only that I want unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. I loved him more than any human should love another. I would love him until the day I die and nothing would ever change the way my heart's decision even if he doesn't return it. My heart would always beat for Edward, no matter what I do.


	9. Chapter 9: My crying Juliet

Phasing Moon Chapter 9: My crying Juliet

EPOV

I stood there, frozen in shock, not believing at what I've just done. Bella hit the third floor, and slammed her door. My hands clenched shut so hard it could cut steel. It felt as if the house wasn't here, nothing was here, I couldn't even tell if I was standing or not. All I knew what that I hurt Bella, hurting her by breaking my promise. My Bella was hurt, because of me.

I took in a shaky breath, her scent was still there, warm and burning. My left foot unconsciously moved forward, to go find her and comfort her. I restrained myself, knowing she would only send me away. Pain ached my entire body at the fact. A low whimper escaped from Bella's room. Agony. She was hurting. My mouth opened to say something then I clicked it shut hard. She groaned and hit something soft, a pillow? Even now, in pain and agony I wanted to know what she was thinking!

Bella deserved better, someone who would be strong enough to tell her anything, I just can't stand the fear and agony it would put her through. I was doing this to protect her. I didn't want my Bella so terrified of something that may not happen. That word lingered in my mind. _May_. A dangerous risk that shouldn't be taken for Bella. The thought of her being close to another vampire, a _real_ monster, was excruciatingly painful; she was so small, so delicate.

Suddenly, a loud, screeching wail thundered from the third floor bedroom. It was agonizing, full of anguish. My hands made their way to my head and squeezed my hair. It hurt just as much as her whimpers and cries. The hard floor hit my knees. The wails continued from the third floor. The pain was so much, I couldn't handle it. My hands squeezed harder at my head. _Bella. _Her name sent more agony through me. This beautiful, soft, creature did not deserve to be in so much pain. Another agonizing wail pierced me to the ground. I couldn't take it. I needed to leave, clear my head. But I couldn't just leave Bella. Another wail changed my mind. I looked back up in Bella's direction. _I'll be back; I promise _I thought to her. A promise I would keep.

I got up and sprinted from the room. I didn't look back the house that inhabited the person I'd hurt. Trees passed my perpetual vision. Little animals scurried away from my approach. Leaves, twigs, and large branches snapped as I ran them over in my straight East direction. I would not go any other direction. I needed to clear my head and think.

I felt a sense of déjà vu. This wasn't the first time I'd run directly east from the same person. Exactly 15 years ago, I'd done the exact same thing. This time, I even was running from pain but not an instinctual pain, no, an emotional and maybe physical pain. 15 years ago I was running because of the person but this time I'm running for the person. I could see Bella didn't want me around although I never really get her thoughts right but I could see I wasn't the person she would talk to.

The trees continued to race by and the sky became darker. Thunder clashed in the distance. I automatically thought of Bella. Was she alright? Should I go back? Her pain echoed through my head. _Keep going, Edward _I told myself. I raced even faster to the where place I knew I could think. Rain started to fall, it clattered against my band so much it would feel like bullets.

Internally, I was battling myself. There was a strange tug at me, to go see Bella, to see if she was alright. Then there was a more sensible part of me that said to leave, to think, come back when I was ready. I felt my head spin from the two decisions.

The bright, sparkling river opened up in front of me. I was surprised by how quickly I'd gotten here, last time I hadn't gotten her for hours when it only took me forty five minutes. I sat down in the same spot, wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin on them. It was drizzling for I had already run through the huge storm that was about to hit Forks. _Bella. _I shook my head, resisting going back. _Go back. _I argued with my self. _Not yet. _I told the selfish part. I closed my eyes and let myself think.

For one, Bella had always had a strange hold on me. There was always something new and interesting about her. The fact that I can't read her mind made me more mesmerized with her. She isn't like other humans. From the very moment I met her fifteen years ago, she had me. The way her eyes were like deep pools of chocolate, how blood would rush to her cheeks every time I looked at her, the way her heart thumped strangely around me, has always made me interested and curious of her.

I never talked to her much over the fifteen years but until a month ago I've been trying to be close to her. I didn't want to be so close to her because of me losing control but such as when she would come into my room, it would make me excited that she liked things I liked. I would always want to learn more about her.

I loved her the way a brother should love a sister, but now? I wasn't sure. I've never felt this strange feeling; this tugging feeling, a tug that pulled me harder towards her every second. It was if she was the Earth, pulling me down with her gravity. Only so recently, when I hear her say my name, or see her reactions to me, I get excited for they are positive or at least I think so. What she wrote to me today, about caring about me, how it warmed me, she'd said that to me sometimes but I never had that reaction. The fact that she was in pain always hurt me but not as strongly as tonight. This feeling made me want to hurt myself for even hurting her. Why was I having these odd reactions now? I wasn't quite sure to why but it didn't mean I did not _like _it. In fact, I loved it. These feelings that I've never felt in my hundred years of being alone in my own clouded darkness. She was the one who had brought light to me; she made me see life so differently, a happier perspective.

It was hard to be away from her now, not knowing if she okay or not. I had to know that she was safe and if she wasn't, it would hurt way too much to even just imagine it. An old vision, surfaced from my locked vault of memories I would never visit. Bella's baby form dead and dismembered in my arms. Before I knew it, I was racing back to Forks. It would take time for her to have faith in me again but I would be by her side waiting for it. Her wails once again crashed like waves in my mind. She must be crying an ocean still. _I'm coming, Bella._ I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away that long and I was right. Bella needed me. More than that, I needed her. She kept me sane. Thirst was far down on my list, her blood was still the sweetest I'd ever encountered before but that didn't stop me, I would be there with her.

I ran unbelievably faster than I thought to Forks, I predicted I would be there in fifteen minutes. Some animals screeched at my approach instead of running away, frightened by my intense speed. The air was humid, that meant the storm already passed through. I hoped Bella was alright, for I did not know if storms still frightened her.

I imagined her reaction to me. Images floated around in my mind. I call up to Bella, she comes downstairs, a loathing glare crosses her face, she runs back up stairs yelling _'I hate you'_. I winced. Another hit me. I go up to her room, her face still full of tears and giving me another glare, she says _'go away'_. I winced again. I blocked the images from my head.

I reached the house. I listened hard for her heart. It was on a low uneven rhythm. This already worried me, had she taken a drug overdose? Hurt herself? Fell down the stairs? Struck by lightning? A robber? I raced into the house.

"Bella!" I called out to her, automatically went towards the stairs when I felt a body heat. I looked over to see Bella in a fetal position on the ground. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, tears down her cheeks, her face was pale. I sucked in a heavy breath. I was with her within a quarter of a second.

"Bella? Bella! Please, wake up!" I touched her cheek, gently. She would only need one cold touch of my finger. An electric shock burst through my veins followed by warmth. "Bella!" I told her louder. She didn't respond. "Bella," My worst nightmare was about to come true. Her heart was very low and uneven, as if it could stop any minute. "Please, Bella" I moved my hand to her forehead. It was cool for a human. I should call Carlisle, get him here immediately but I couldn't stand to leave her. "Bella, wake up, please..." I moved my whole hand to her cheek. She still didn't respond.

I didn't even have a chance to talk to her again, to look into her deep chocolate brown eyes. To say how sorry I was; to have her safe, in my arms, protected. She couldn't be gone yet, she still had so much to see in life, so much to live.

"Please" I choked out. "Don't leave me" I stroked her cheek. I needed her. I wanted her with me, here. Life wouldn't have the same meaning to it without her. I can't go on with life without seeing her beautiful face, hearing her voice and heartbeat, seeing her blush a bright scarlet. My life seemed so much darker without my bright angel with me. My crying Juliet wasn't going to awake.

"Bella," I begged her grave expression. "Please..." I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for an old human habit. Another human emotion bubbled up to the surface. I was waiting to let my sorrow out, I was ready to cry. I moved my hand to brush her soft, dark brown hair. I rubbed her cheek, collecting tears along the way. "Wake up" I felt like a child, as if asking a dead person to wake up, there was nothing I could do; I could see Bella was close to dead. "Please..." I begged again. I smoothed her hair back again and touched her cheek. "I'm so sorry" I lifted my head continued to try hopelessly to wake her up.

Suddenly, I noticed one of her fingers twitching. I took the hand and held it in both of mine. "Bella, please, if you can hear me, do anything." One of her fingers slightly lifted, but not even a human would notice that but I did. . I laid my ear on her collarbone and listened to her low heart, it was hard to even hear it then. "Bella please.." I took a deep breath of her scent for it maybe the last I'll ever smell it. "...I'm so very sorry I felt you alone" I lifted my head, closing my eyes, and bringing her unmoving hand to my face. It was soft and warm, sending little sparks of emotions through my system. She was gone. There was nothing I could do about it. "I need you..." I told her. I would always need my Bella.

Then it finally hit me. Why I needed Bella so much. The reasons for why she always had appealed to me, why I wanted to protect her, why I would live for her and no one else, why I would die for her. I loved Bella, not in a family way, in a way that I'm willing to do anything for her. I was helplessly and deeply in love with her. I would never want anyone but her. I've always loved her, from the very moment I took her in my arms for the first time in so long. I loved this fragile human, who was beautiful and good. I wanted her to be mine and I be hers. It only took me a half of a second to realize this. Then a quarter to realize she was gone. More agony ripped through me. My Bella, she was gone.

A second after my realization, her little hand squeezed mine. Her heart pumped hard, vital, and _fast. _Her breathing sped up and her whole body had begun twitching. "Bella!" Sweat dewed up on her forehead. Her cheeks blushed deep scarlet and finally her eyelids squeezed and then snapped open. Her brown eyes looked up searching frantically. Then her eyes rested on my face. Her mouth opened and nothing came out at first and then-

"_EDWARD!_" She screamed. Relief hit me like a cannon. Bella was safe. My Bella was okay. Then I didn't know if she was mad, or sad. Before I could say anything she clumsily scrambled up from her position and threw her arms around my neck. She squeezed so tight it would suffocate a human. I didn't hesitate as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and squeezed hard than I should. _Careful _I warned myself. Relief was still radiating throughout me. Bella was okay.

"Bella" I said, my voice full of relief and love for the girl embracing me.

"Edward" her voice reflected mine.

She started shaking and she let out a whimper. It sounded opposite as it did so many hours ago. It was happier. She moved her head to my chest and sobbed more. "Don't..." she choked, her heart still beating strong and fast "Don't...ever..." She shook her head against my chest. She moved her arms to my waist. Electricity flowed through both of us. "Don't ever...do that..." realization came to me. She never wanted me to leave. She wanted me here, with her. "...again" I squeezed her shoulders. _My Bella._ With slow deliberate movements, I pressed my lips to the top of her head. Her scent flowed into my nostrils. _So delicious. _I restrained myself. Other than that, a strong pulse of electricity sparked through me, ten times more potent than before.

"I will never." I told her but I wanted something in return. "As long as you promise never to terrify me like that again" I told her. Again, I gently pressed my lips this time to her forehead, then, very carefully, put both of my hands on either sides of her face and made her look at me. Her face was red and swollen with tears.

She didn't hesitate, "I promise" her voice rang like a clear bell. Tears were still on her cheeks, I took one cautious finger and wiped them from her cheek, they were very hot. She closed her eyes and some were at the corners. "Why?" She asked, leaving her lids shut.

I didn't answer her at first, I was still in relief she was here, with me, alive. I kissed her forehead. I moved my lips to her left cheek then her right. I wasn't going to try her lips. For one, I didn't know if she even felt that for me and two, if she was so close to my _teeth_, I couldn't even think of what could happen. I stroked her face as I came up with an answer.

I laid a side of my face against her head. Her body heat was overwhelming. "I went to think about things" I said, softly.

She laid her head across my chest again, she spoke into it "You could have left a note"

I laughed. I would not leave a note if she was going to react this way, I wouldn't have even left in the first place. "I know that _now_." I shook my head at Bella's silliness. "My Bella, what am I going to do with you?" I blurted out that she was _mine_. I heard her heart take off like a helicopter.

I was afraid I crossed the wrong line but then she just shrugged her shoulders "Who knows?"

I couldn't resist as I held her face once more and kissed her warm forehead once more. I closed my eyes, my mouth still by her head (which was not a very good idea, but I kept myself as in control as possible). "I'm so sorry, Bella" I whispered to her forehead.

Bella lay against me. She had calmed down. Her heart rate was returning to normal as well as her breathing. "You've already been forgiven"

I smiled contently at her. She had forgiven me so easily for a more foolish and painful mistake. It's no wonder I'm in love with her.

Her breathing became slower but her heart jumped and went uneven after a few minutes of peace. She tightened her arms around me

"Are you alright?" I asked her, stroking her hair gently.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" and then she yawned. Her breath was so warm.

"Would you like to go to bed?" I hid the sadness in my voice. I wanted to spend more time like this with her, it may never happen again but I wanted to give her what she wanted.

She slowly nodded against my shoulder. When I was about to untangle her, Bella put her arms around my neck and left them there. Her tired brown eyes looked up at me. They had desire in them. Was I imagining this or did she want me to carry her to her room? I hadn't done that since she was an infant.

"You don't mind do you?" She looked down and blushed. How adorable that she thought she needed permission, she just can't see how much I love her.

"I never mind, Bella." I told her, "You're so light" I laughed lightly, trying to get her more comfortable. She smiled sleepily.

I slowly slid my arms underneath her legs and my arms supported her shoulders. I lifted her up; as I said, she was light as a feather. She took a deep breath and yawned. I walked with human pace up the stairs for I did not want to let her go. One of her fingers clutched my shirt and held herself there. I carried her through the house, slipping intoa slumber with each step I took. I unconsciously started humming a lullaby I'd composed for her when she was just a young child. When I first saw her sleep, the notes flowed into my mind and I played it occasionally. She would look up and smile, for I could see she loved it. She looked up at me, blinking lazily. I kept humming and staring into her eyes. Her little cheeks turned a light shade of pink. She closed her eyes and continued listening.

"That's my favorite" She murmured against my chest. "It's so..." Bella yawned. "Beautiful..." She'd loved the song I'd written just for her, joy filled my silent heart.

I stopped humming for a moment, "It's mine, too" I told her truthfully and went back to humming. I'd never composed anything like it in my life. It was soft, telling a story within the music that I only knew about, maybe I would tell her someday.

I made it up to her room; the door was already hanging open. I carried her to her bed, gently settled her into it and laid the covers over her almost-asleep form. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. I kneeled down beside her, and put my hand up against her cheek.

"Good night, Bella" I leaned in and kissed her cheek one more time. I laid my forehead to hers and closed my eyes. Her sweet scent traveled through my nose, burning my throat. It was a good pain now; it proved she was here, where she belonged. I felt her hand grabbed mine at her cheek and rubbed her cheek against it. Her other hand touched the side of my face, electricity ran through my veins once again.

"Goodnight, Edward" She told me lovingly and sleepily. She sounded so sincere. "Can you promise me something?" she asked, concerned

"Anything" I breathed

"Promise me that you'll be here when I wake up" She leaned her face into my hand. Warmth spread through my fingers.

"I promise. I'll always be there for you. I may have not been before, but now I am, Bella. You mean so much to me" I told her, fearing I'd said too much. I felt her lips against my hands turn up into a smile.

"me too." She yawned.

"Sleep, Bella. I promise I'll be here" I started to hum her lullaby. A few minutes later, her breathing slowed down and her face fell from my hand. I stroked her hair without touching her skin, stood up and left the room, closing the door gently behind me.

_Sleep my, Bella, my one and only love._


	10. Chapter 10: Dream

Phasing moon Chapter 10: in the dark

EPOV

Morning broke out over the horizon. The sunlight splashed across the living room and my skin shimmered like diamonds; showing the real monster within me. I stood and walked into the shadows, where I belonged. I looked at my white, cold hands; wishing they were soft and human. I then would be able to touch Bella without having to worry about taking her life in the process. One touch of my finger and I could break her so easily, effortless. I hated these hands that had taken so many human lives like Bella's. I sighed.

The house glowed with the arrival of a new day. Bella was still mumbling incoherently in her sleep. She had said things that worried me earlier. She kept whispering my name along with "run." She later whispered "get away from me" with fear in her voice, I then wanted to go check on her but resisted, she was probably just having a bad dream. Bella eventually calmed down and went into a wordless slumber. I calmed after she did.

"Edward" she sighed. Once I heard my name escape her lips, I was in her room with in a second. She was still asleep. Her breathing low, her hair in a knot and her arms sprayed across her pillow. She was still the most beautiful creature I'd seen in my world. A smile played across my face, as I watched her open the gates into her mind about me. "Don't leave..." she took a deep breath, "me" she said and turned her head on the pillow.

Happiness radiated throughout me. She wanted me, not the same way I wanted her but still wanted me to be around.

Suddenly, her breathing sped up a little too fast and her heart began to thump hard and quickly. "No..." her voice shook, "Let me go..." Her shoulders began moving, as if she were running. "No" her voice got louder. I contemplated weather or not to wake her up, I was beginning to anxious. She began moving faster and twitching. "No! Leave me alone!" she yelled. "No! No! No! Leave me alone!! Get away from me!" She began thrashing in her blankets. I was with her in that instant, grabbing her hot hand.

"Bella, shh, calm down its ok" I told her reassuring. But she screamed once I touched her. I pulled my hand back quickly.

"LEAVE ME AL"- but then cut off and snapped her eyes open. She hyperventilated. She kept looking at the ceiling, her chest moving rapidly up and down. A minute passed and she calmed down. I hesitantly took her hand again, letting the warmth and electricity run through my body. She gasped at the touch and looked over at me.

"Bella?" I asked her, unsure if she would be afraid.

"Oh, Edward" She said, breathless, her wide chocolate eyes looked at me with shock. "I'm so sorry...I mean I didn't"- I just shook my head at her. It wasn't her fault about the dreams.

"It's fine, Bella. You were just having a nightmare." I told her gently. I assumed it was a nightmare what with all the screaming and panicking; for both of us.

"Oh" She breathed. I smoothed out her hair and ran my hand to her cheek. Just like last night she held my hand there. I could sense she liked it there. Her deep eyes looked off out of focus, thinking. What was she thinking? It was still so odd not knowing this one mind. I was about to ask but she held out one finger to stop me, cautioning me to wait, and I would.

After a minute, curiosity conquered my patience. "What are you thinking?"

Bella blinked and shook her head. "I was trying to remember...that dream..." Her eyebrows furrowed.

"You can't remember...any of it?" I stuttered for this surprised me, humans usually had dim memories of dream, at least _something_ of the dream remains with them but I knew Bella wasn't lying, she was a horrid liar.

"Nope, sorry" Bella shrugged it off and got out of bed.

I walked out of her room to give her some privacy. That dream had to mean something. I don't think I could take her in so much pain. The way she screamed away from me... I flinched. She was still in the dream at the time, it was no big deal.

Bella came down a few minutes later; I had drifted to the grand piano and started playing "Quite Storm." She made her way to the kitchen and I heard her prepare items for her breakfast. They were very homey sounds. Very quietly, I heard her hum to the notes, she was beautiful. She still loved to hum to what I was playing. Bella cracked two eggs and put toast in the toaster. Bella was very fine with taking care of herself, very independent. When Esme, Carlisle or anyone else would offer to help, she would refuse and say she can handle it. Bella had always been more mature than what age she really was.

After Bella came in and sat at the table and ate, I drifted the song to her lullaby. Her heart spluttered. She looked over at me and blushed. I looked up and smiled at her. She had an intake of breath and went back to eating. I let out a chuckle that she couldn't hear.

Fast little feet approached the house, I froze. One of us was here. Bella noticed and looked up

"Edward?" She asked but I didn't pay her any attention for I went to the door and went to confront the vampire that was there. I looked around and looked down to see Alice. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her expression was furious. All I could get from her mind was fury.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked her. Then I saw her vision. Bella and I were wrapped around each other. I had both my arms around her waist and Bella had her head on her chest with her arms around my neck.

"Oh" was all that came out of my mouth. But then, Alice's fury seemed to be the happiest thing to me. Bella might feel that way for me. I grinned. Happiness took over every single cell in my body. Triumph blew through me. Bella really _could _be mine.

Alice saw my reaction and already saw I was in love with Bella. Her eyes glowed with anger. "You..." she shook her head hard. Her teeth were clenched tight. "I'll be happy later...right now...I need to let out my fury..." She spoke through her teeth. My happiness over reined everything else. Bella could love me. Bella could love me. I chanted to myself. Alice's fury started to make me laugh then I saw what she was thinking then I was in hysterics.

"Edward?!" Bella came out from behind me and gasped. "Alice! You're home early!" Bella ran past me and hugged Alice. I held the doorframe for support. I continued to laugh hard, sliding to the floor. Alice was so furious because Bella would spend more time with me than her; she would love me the most out of all of them and more than Alice. I started banging the side of the door, so happy.

"Edward!" Bella slid down on her knees and touched my shoulder. "What are you laughing about?" I just shook my head at her. She began to giggle at my hysteria. I laughed even harder. I took her hand and squeezed it, still laughing.

"What are we laughing about?" she asked between giggles.

"Alice" I burst out laughing. My laughs echo through the house.

Alice then growled and stomped inside the house, slapping me on the back of my head on the way in. Bella and I continued to laugh. Her laugh was so beautiful, it was a carefree, light laugh; it put angels to shame. It was a sound of happiness despite her horrific morning. Bella's laughs died down before mine. I kept laughing while Bella smiled and kept my hand in both of hers.

"Edward, you're going to die eventually if you don't stop laughing" Bella said after a few minutes of my laughing. I gradually died down my laughs. I couldn't help the hysteria of Alice.

"Good lord, I've never seen anyone laugh as much as you. Emmett is going to be insulted" Bella said, smiling widely.

"He'll live" I told her, looking at her seriously. Her eyes became hurt until I turned my grimace into a smile. She let out a low huff and winked at me. I stood up and Bella came with me, still holding my hand.

Bella looked up towards Alice's direction and back at me. She unconsciously gnawed on her bottom lip, trying to decide where to go. Alice's fury was still raging in her head.

"You can go to Alice..." I told her as she turned to go walk to Alice; suddenly I worried for Bella's safety "as long as you don't care about your neck." she stopped dead in her trail. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes. I sighed; I guess Alice wouldn't do anything as long as it was Bella.

"I'll take the chance" Bella grinned and went up the stairs to Alice's room to face her wrath.

* * *

Bella's POV

I made my way up the stairs from Edward's wary gaze. Alice seemed furious but she would never hurt me. Her fury was actually scary and amusing at the same time.

The walk up there seemed to take longer than it should have. I slid my hand on the cold, gold rail on my way up; you can never know what will happen with a klutz like me.

Alice's fury and Edward's crazy laughter had only made confusion for me. Obviously, Edward had been amused with Alice's fury but what was Alice mad about? Alice always seemed to be so chirpy, cheerful, and confident. I've never seen my practical sister so angry, so it did worry me when Edward said to be careful. Although he could read minds, Edward didn't understand my and Alice's relationship. I would always be there for Alice, even if she was mad, even at me. The crazy thing is that she would do the same for me. She was so much better than I was at many things, I didn't deserve her love and compassion as a sister but some how she accepted me.

I made it to the second floor and turned to Alice's room. The door was already open so I invited myself in. Alice was facing the window that out looked the front of the house. She had her arms wrapped around her small knees and he anger rolled off her body in waves. I didn't hesitate to go sit next to her and sling an arm around her shoulder. Alice growled and kept her face in a pixie pout. I rubbed her shoulder that said _I'm not leaving. _ My small sister took a deep breath and held it. I wasn't afraid of her; I was never afraid of any of the Cullens.

"Go on, sis, let it out. I'm all ears, no Edward" I joked with her. Her composed pout began to slip into a grimace. Alice slowly shook her head. "Alice" She looked at me. I put on my best puppy dog face "please?" I asked in a child tone. She choked out a laugh and then, after realizing what she did, growled. My face must have been pretty pathetic, then. "C'mon Alice! He'll mind his own business!" I glowered in Edward's general direction. When I turned back at her, she had her head placed delicately on her knees; it was heartbreaking.

"Aw, Alice" I rubbed her shoulder again, "Are you crying?" I knew vampires couldn't cry but it seemed like she was trying to get an emotion out.

"Agh!" Alice groaned at me and moved her head to my right shoulder. I cradled her head with both hands. "He's such a...!" She shook her head as I stroked her spiky hair.

"I know, I know" I assured her, like a big sister comforting a little sister about the annoying brother. "Its okay" I patted her back, "Let it out"

"He can be such a meanie who ruins all my fun! It's no fair! I swear he could just let me get my way _once_..." She kept venting about Edward's apparent selfishness and her oh-too-innocent situation. I stroked her hair and patted her cold back. It felt so odd; it felt as if she was a five year old and I was the seventeen year old.

"Now, Alice" I said. She lifted her head up and her expression was heartbreaking "What happened?" her expression changed to guarded.

"Nothing" Alice stood up, out of my arms, and walked to the window on the opposite side of the room. All that hypothetical crying for nothing? Right.

"You know you can tell me anything, Alice." I stood up and waited for an answer. Alice always told me how she felt. Why didn't she trust me?

"I know" Alice voice was strained but sad. She wanted to tell but couldn't?

"Alice, I'm confused, why can't you tell me? We're sisters, we tell each other everything..." I looked down from her back to the dark wood floor. I felt a bit betrayed. The closest person to my sister and she wouldn't tell me.

"It's not my secret to tell, Bella, in fact, its none of my business" Alice remained aloof.

Fury broke my confusion. I stomped to her direction and put a hand on her cold shoulder. "Then what was _that _all about? If its none of your business, you shouldn't care!" I tried to turn her to face me but she remained a statue.

"He started it, he ruined it" Her shoulders tensed under my hands.

"Alice, I don't understand" I growled. Fury was still seething through my bones, now frustration was its companion.

"Just forget it, you'll find out eventually" Before I could say a ward or even breath, Alice was out of the room.

My teeth clenched together. Why wouldn't Alice tell me? If it was a fight _she _was in, wouldn't it be _her _business? I squeezed my fists together and sucked in a deep breath. I always seemed to be in the dark, lately. Edward's mood swings and Alice's visions. This was never a problem until now. Well there was only one thing I could do and that was try and figure it out.

"Edward!" I yelled down the hallway. Before I could step anywhere he was a foot away from me. My heart thumped nervously. He was still the most glorious thing I'd ever seen. _I love you._ I wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how much I couldn't live without him.

"Yes, Bella?" Her voice made my thoughts scramble into gushy fantasies that I never _dreamed _I could make up. I shook my head, dispelling them and focusing.

I cleared my throat. "Before I ask, will you please promise me an answer?" I asked. His eyes were calm but I could sense his panic in the air. I wanted to go touch his cheek, tell him its okay and he can tell me. I clenched my fists tighter. He slowly nodded, unsure of himself. _It's okay. _

I took a deep breath before I started. With slow, hesitance I asked my question. "Why is Alice mad...at you?" My voice shook.

Edward remained expressionless and still as stone. I bit my lip, instantly regretting asking. I had trapped him with my promise, he would answer me.

"She had a vision and it went blank because I made a decision and got into the middle of it." Edward shrugged, too causally.

"Anything else...? I won't freak out I promise" I made my body as still and calm as possible, and fully aware of his answer.

"Not really..." His eyes trailed off, unfocused.

"Edward, could you please say what you need to say?" I pushed, he was hiding something. I know that when one of the Cullens' is still as statue, its because they're anxious or worried.

His bright golden eyes looked back at mine. They burned like fire, brighter than any of the lightest and hottest suns. His eyes burned into my mine. My mouth opened a little in shock. He was so beautiful.

"Breathe, Bella" Edward said softly, his expression broke into anxiousness. I let out the breath I'd been holding in, blinking my eyes rapidly out of shock. Edward kept his back straight and chin up as he strode over to me. His eyes never left mine. Slowly, he grabbed my hand, his usual electricity sparked through me and my heart stuttered. He stared into my eyes with burning intensity. "I'm sorry, Bella. I haven't been being quite honest with you. Just, please, you'll know eventually" Edward paused, pain took his eyes. "but please, just wait" his eyes were full of panic and pain.

"Well, as long as I eventually know then I will wait." I smiled slightly at him. He smiled back, relieved. "But" I held up one figure from my free hand. "I will have to know eventually. I'm part of our family and I have a right to know" I tried to keep a strict tone in my voice and failed miserably, my voice shook and stuttered.

"You will know in time, Bella. It's a promise I can keep." His eyes were bright with sincerity that I couldn't deny. I looked down, my cheeks flaming. His scent flowed down my lungs and I knew I could trust Edward. I was in love with him for god's sake! I sighed.

"Come here" Edward said gently and wrapped his cold arms around me. Shocked by the sudden embrace, I froze. As soon I felt the electricity, I gently thawed out. My placed my hands on his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt. _Don't let go_. He softly rubbed my back. I breathed in his delicious, sweet scent. There was never going to be someone I loved more than Edward. It was impossible.

I gently pressed my hand to where his heart is. "Thank you..." I closed my eyes in content. "For protecting me this weekend." I said, softly.

"No." He said. I looked up, hurt but he looked at me, his face gentle. "I've protected you your whole life Bella, no thanks are necessary." He smiled at me. I never realized he wanted to protect me my whole life. His arms tightened around me. He was the sweetest, most compassionate and protecting person I knew. So with quick movements, I stood up on my tip-toes and pecked him on the cheek and then quickly laid my head against his chest so I wouldn't see his reaction. I felt my face burn bright red. Instead of pulling out of the embrace, he just tightened his arms and pressed his lips to the top of my head. I took that as _"its okay" _I smiled where he couldn't see.

Suddenly, a car door slammed and Emmett's voice roared up the stairs. "We're home! Who missed us!?" As soon as Emmett made it to me in Edward, he had maneuvered out of the hug but kept my hand. Emmett looked between us, skeptical. "What was going on here?" he raised one eyebrow mischievously.

"Nothing!" Edward and I shouted at the same time.

Emmett laughed loudly. "Ah, I missed you guys" Emmett caught me up in a tight bear hug.

He squeezed so much it cut off my airways and I couldn't breathe "Emmett...can't..._breathe_..." I choked out my last supply of air.

His laugh boomed into my ear. "Wait, wait, I thought it was _his_ job to do that!" His eyes pointed at Edward.

I gasped. Emmett had noticed how I am around Edward. "Emmett!" I slapped his hard arm. "Ow!" I yelped in pain and then my biggest brother starting laughing so hard.

"Oh-Oh- this is _too_ good" He said between laughs. He clutched his stomach and held onto the railing for support.

Edward just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "See it wasn't my turn to get her hurt today, Emmett. It was _all _you" I glowered at both of them but Edward turned his head and winked at me. My heart sputtered hyperactively. It was so glorious.

"hahaha, you're right!" Emmett said and held out his fist. Edward slammed their knuckles together.

Our family was together once again.


	11. Chapter 11: Light in the Dark

Phasing Moon Chapter 11:

BPOV

It was dark, it was very dark...and cold. My arms were sore like they were beaten with a bat yesterday. My legs screamed out in pain from running so much. The air around me was crisp and freezing, I couldn't feel my fingers or toes.

It was only when I heard a sound, I realized my eyes were closed. I slowly looked up above me at the white-green scenery. I was in a familiar forest, I always used to walk here with Alice and we'd talk. Now the trees and ground were covered in cold snow, I couldn't feel my fingers or toes. My whole form shook from the coldness.

Then I realized I wasn't alone for I was surrounded by big, black cloaks. All I saw inside them were shining crimson rubies. I gasped at the site and they continued to box me in. Life was over, I was going to be killed or mangled or torn apart. I squeezed my eyes, waiting for eternal darkness until I heard sudden snapping and crack, it sound like metal was being torn apart. I slowly opened one eye to see the Cullens had dismantled them; they had saved me. Alice was right beside me. I shot up from my position and hugged her shoulders.

"Thank you, Alice! How could I ever repay you?" Alice was still as stone and she didn't say a word. "Alice?" I asked, wondering what was wrong. Her head was facing toward the others who had their backs turned to us. "Guys, What's wrong?" I asked them. None of my family members moved. A beating human heart thudded in the distance, and deep panting. All of them shifted into a crouch. They were going to hunt. They didn't hunt humans! They weren't like that! What had they done?!

"Alice! Alice! Stop! Stop!" I ran in front of her form and restrained her with both hands. Then I looked into her eyes and gasped. They were just like the red rubies of my attackers. She had human blood in her system. "A-Alice?! W-What have you done?! Why?!" I tried to shake her shoulders, snap her out of it.

"It's who she is, Bella" Edward's voice, whispered velvet and deadly in my ear. I stiffened as his nose trailed the side of my neck. His nose left my neck and his hands gently took mine from Alice's small shoulders. As soon as my hands left, Alice and the others all burst off for the human.

"NO!" I ran but Edward caught my hand. "NO! NO! LET ME GO! DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" I twisted and shoved against his hand. Edward ignored my pleas and spun my around. Edward looked at me, his eyes were gold. He hadn't drunk anyone's blood! Thank goodness! "Edward! You didn't do it" I put my hands on both sides of his face and smiled at him. He smiled back but it wasn't right; it was more of an evil kind of smile, a sly one.

"Of course not, my dear Bella." I relaxed at his velvet voice. He called me _his_ again. Even in the midst of a horrible nightmare, that didn't seem to stop my heart from fluttering. "Ah," He said as he listened. "Beautiful..." his arms slid around my waist and he pulled me to him. He skimmed his nose along my jaw, down to my neck. _I love you_. "...and delicious" I froze. He wasn't showing his love...he was...examining me...for him to.... "I was just waiting for the best blood to be mine" The completely side of his face was on my neck. Fear trickled through my veins. I was going to die and Edward was delivering the dagger. My heart began to break apart.

Tears sprang from my eyes and down my cheeks. More than anything, even death, nothing could have pierced me more than his false love. "I thought you loved me..." I choked on the last word. More hot tears ran down my cheeks. My breathing shook.

"Of course I do..." his voice was beautiful and deadly.

"My Blood!" I snapped at him. My whole face became drenched in tears.

"Well of course...." Edward purred in my ear. I laid my head against his just hoping the Edward I loved would come back.

"Fine, just get it over with. I don't belong in this world without my Edward. You're not him. You're just a fear in the back of my head" I growled in the demon's ear.

"Mmm" he hummed and his sharp teeth broke into my neck. I screamed trashing out of his arms.

"STOP! STOP! STOP! NO! STOP! DON'T!" I screamed and thrashed around in my pillows. Suddenly a cold hand caught my shoulder, a shrieked even louder.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down! Shhh! It's okay! You're okay!" Alice's voice chirped in my ear.

My eyes snapped open to her voice found her on the edge of my bed. Her gold eyes looked at me, terrified.

"Alice" Was all I said as wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Her cold hand patted my back.

"It's okay, let it out." Quoting me from a week ago. I sobbed for a while until I was out of tears. I let fear rush out of my system and then embarrassment set in. I rubbed the tears away with the back of my fist. Alice looked concerned as she smoothed my hair. "I'm sorry, Sis. Come downstairs, I'll get you some decaf" She smiled slightly.

Decaf always made me go to sleep. I couldn't go back to sleep right now and face that dream again with _him_.

I shook my head furiously "No, no. Please put Caffeine in, please? I just can't go back to sleep right now..." I bit my lip staring off into space where that dream still haunts my memories, fresh and sharp.

"Sure, Bella, no problem" She shrugged and held out her hand. I took it and she led my down the hallways, down the stairs and to the first floor. Everyone was down there.

Emmett and Jasper playing their version of chess, Alice mouthing one of the moves to Jasper behind Emmett's back. Jasper smirked and looked at me. I felt calm and serene. I mouthed 'thank you' to him. Rosalie was sitting between them and looked up at me in sympathy and then looked back down.

Edward was playing his piano; Esme's favorite played through the room and helped relieve me. This was the Edward I wanted in my dream, so light and good. I walked over to the piano and watched his fingers sweep the keys. It was amazing how he made such beautiful music with one finger doing something and other doing something else at the same time. He was so talented at what he did.

He finished the piece and looked up at me. His eyes were full of anxiousness

"I'm fine, I promise" I raised my left hand and grinned.

"You scared me a little there" He smiled fully at me.

"Yeah, sorry. These nightmares are starting to drive me nuts" I just shook my head and looked up.

"Well, you're awake and alright, that's all that matters" I looked back and he was still smiling. He took my hand and squeezed it then went back to playing.

Carlisle was reading a fat volume with Esme staring off into space holding his hand until she noticed me. Her face turned to anxious and concerned. Alice let go of my hand to go to the kitchen while Esme leaped off the sofa and her motherly arms were around me. "Are you alright, Sweetheart?" her voice layered with anxiousness. I felt guilty then; I must have worried all of them, especially Esme.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I said, my voice rough. I cleared my throat. Esme gave me a squeezed, kissed my forehead and released me.

Carlisle was next to her in an instant and took his turn to hug me comfortingly. He didn't say a word, just patted my back and kissed the top of my head.

I felt like a child, running to my parents and needing comfort but the truth was they came to me first.

"Are you alright, Bella?" He put his hands on my shoulders.

I merely nodded. "Just a bad dream" I tried to shrug then flinched thinking of the dream.

"Alright, go talk to Alice. Then you'll feel better." Carlisle smiled and returned to Esme.

I went into the kitchen, it was dimly lit but I could see Alice perfectly. She was sitting at the edge of the table with my coffee.

I sat in my usual spot and took a sip. The drink warmed my throat and made me relax. "Ah" I closed my eyes in content. Whenever I need Alice to talk about these things, she would take me in here and I would have coffee and talk.

"You can tell me when you're ready Bella, we have all night" she smiled slightly at me. I glanced at the clock and it indicated that it was 2:30 in the morning. She was right. I started explaining right away since it was still fresh inside my head. I edited sometimes because there would always be a chance that Edward was listening. Alice nodded and at time she would look concerned but then contained her polite mask. At her part in my dream, she bit her lip and looked upset, I told her it was my mind playing tricks on me and I knew she wouldn't dare. When I got to the part of Edward, her eyes looked incredulous. I reassured her on that too that it was only my mind.

When I was done, I just sipped my coffee, letting it warm my body.

"Wow..." Alice looked at me "You're afraid of us that much" she grinned and winked at me.

"No, that's not it at all. I think its my mind imagining things. You guys are kind of keeping me in the dark, you know?" I bit my lip

Alice sighed. "I know and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my vision a few weeks ago. We're just so worried that you might be afraid."

"I can handle it, Alice." I looked straight into her eyes with sincere honesty. I could handle it, she just didn't believe it.

:That's why I'm going to tell you the vision" Alice was guarded but looked to keep her word.

"You are?" I got excited, for once, she was letting free the protective shield.

"Yes, because you are my sister and you should know but please, it's simply blurry now so I don't know if it will really happen. Let me warn you now." She looked at me, trying to get me to understand "it's not a good vision" She warned

"I understand"

Alice quickly went through her vision. My heart stuttered and thudded unevenly, I took a deep breath and steadied myself. She had said it was me running from a vampire and it tackling me.

"It won't happen though, because we're here protecting you. They won't get passed us. There's no need to worry about it, Bella" She reached over and smoothed my hair.

"But all of you risking your lives... you could be killed" I flinched at the thought of losing someone. What if it was Emmett? Always so laid back and funny. Or Esme? Such a motherly figure, I can't stand to be without her. Or...I couldn't even think the name.

"You're worried about _us_?" Alice asked, unbelieving.

I simply nodded.

"You are a very strange human..." She smiled and shook her head. I considered that and figured she was right. I was raised by vampires for god sakes! "Well, that's it" She shrugged

"Thank you." I said to her finally being in the light.


	12. Chapter 12: Unusual

Phasing Moon Chapter 12: Unusual

BPOV

I woke to the gray sky and pattering rain. I groaned and lifted my pillow over my head. I wished the rain would go away. I never like it, it was too gloomy. Rain always reminded me of my parents for some reason and whenever I thought of my parents, it would hurt. I sighed and lifted myself off the bed. My head span I lifted it; it ached.

"Whoa...ow..." I put my hand on the side of my head, messaging it. I'd never felt anything like it. Blood pumped to my scalp, hard and it ached even more. "Ugh" I groaned and set my face back on the pillow.

Emmett slammed open the door then, making me jump. "WAKEY! WAKEY! SLEEPY HEAD! OR I'LL COME AND GET YOU!!" Emmett's loud voice boomed into my ear and made my head whirl. I groaned.

"Leave me alone, Emmett. I don't feel good." I held the pillow to my scalp, trying to block out his laughs.

"'Sick of us already? 'Took you long enough!" He snickered. I wanted to slap him but I'd probably hurt myself trying so I put more pressure on the pillow.

"Go away, Emmett!" I yelled up at him and my attempt made the headache worse.

"Oh no you don't!" Emmett yelled and then he had me in his arms. I squirmed and thrashed trying to get out of his iron grip.

"Let go!" I yelped and my scalp banged in pain. My hand automatically went to where the pain was and winced.

"Stop faking, Bells. I know you don't like school but come on! I've had to go for over half a century and you don't see me complaining!" He laughed again and ran us downstairs. My stomach began to clench into knots. My hand raced to where it hurt. Though, Emmett's cold arms did ease some of that pain.

"I'm not faking! My head really hurts! And my stomach! And you only like school because you make fun of my other friends" Emmett couldn't handle it anymore; he put me down and started booming out his laughter.

"Ahaha!! I can't help it! Have you _seen_ that Eric kid?! He needs some proactive if that's what it is on his face! Ahahaha!" Emmett clutched his stomach and laughed hard. I rolled my eyes at him and went to the kitchen to find ice.

"Hey, sleepy" Alice's chirpy voice erupted in my ear. My head protested.

"Ow. Good Morning, Alice" I said, walking past my erratic sister to the freezer. I found bag and put the icy cubes in it. I wrapped a paper towel around it and held the ice pack to my scalp. The ache eased but still hurt as I sat down into the sofa.

Alice sat down next to me and put her arm on my shoulder; it felt good. "You alright, lady?" I groaned and shook my head. She moved her hand to my forehead.

"You're a little warm; do you want me to call Carlisle?" Alice sounded anxious as placed her hand around my head, easing the throbbing pain.

"No, no, it's okay, Alice, I can go to school." Surely I could make it through one day of school; this should go away by then.

"Are you sure?" Alice seemed concerned.

Before I could answer, she held up one finger and her eyes stared off into a distant future. After a half minute, she blinked and focused on me. "You'll make it through the day, but it's a bit fuzzy, something could happen..." Alice pursed her lips, considering.

"Really, Alice, I'm feeling better already." I reassured her removing the ice pack. The pain had subsided, but it was muted, it felt as if it would come back any minute.

"Alright..." She said unsure, for once.

To make my family happy, I took some Tylenol before we left for school. Edward looked just as concerned as Alice as I climbed into the front seat of the Volvo. Alice gave up her usual seat to me and sat in the back with Jasper, holding his hand and whispering to him. She was so fast and quiet that I couldn't make out what she was saying. Rosalie and Emmett had taken his jeep to school since there was no room.

The headache had moved to the lower part of my forehead, almost to the bridge of my nose. I suppressed a moan and held the bridge of my nose. The pain hammered against my finger. I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to kick the pain out.

After a few minutes, we arrived at school. Everyone was gaping at Emmett's _huge,_ shiny, red jeep. We didn't usually bring the other cars to school, they were too incredulous. Alice and Jasper exited the car to go join Rose and Em. I bit my lip, unsure if I was ready to face school.

Edward was so silent and still beside me, I almost thought he got out too. So when his cool hand went to my forehead, I jumped. The coldness made my headache feel so much better than it had all morning. I thought the electricity would make me feel sicker but it just made me feel more relaxed. I could sit like this with him all day if I wanted to. His scent made my stomach feel better also but there was still a faint, sharp pain right below my ribcage; I was sure it was nothing. Other than that, I had felt better than I had all morning. Maybe it was just Edward, some kind of healing nature, I was always relaxed around him, the way other humans weren't.

"What are you thinking?" he murmured. His eyes were staring straight ahead, they were almost tired. He moved his hand to mine; sparks flew through me, filling me with energy, making me almost forget my illness.

"You know, considering I'm the only one you can't read, can you just not ask?" I smiled weakly at him, teasing.

He looked back at me with his lazy golden eyes. They still burned with intensity of curiosity. "Please, Bella?" His voice was soft and beautiful.

I felt my face start to fire up and my breathing turned into short breaths. How _much _I wanted to say I loved him. He stared at me, waiting for an answer. I blinked a few times and then forgot his question. "W-what?"

"What are your thoughts?" Now he looked amused.

I felt my face burst into flames. "Um... I was thinking... about...h-how you make me feel better" I stuttered and tripped over my words, getting out the truth. He just stared at me, expressionless. I gnawed on my lip, worrying I'd said the wrong thing.

His eyes finally relaxed. "Well...Happy to be of service"

We then got out of the car. Alice danced over to me (it still amazed me how the way she just walks is amazing) and put her arm on my shoulder. Her hand went immediately to my forehead...again.

"Hmm..." Her eyes stared off into space. She focused on me again after a moment "Are you-"

"I'm sure I'll be fine for the day, Alice" I answered her question before she could even get it out.

She sighed, "Alright...just remember to let one of us know if something is weird, okay?"

I nodded. So over protective, I was nearly an adult; don't they know I can take care of myself? I sighed.

Edward took my backpack, throw it over his shoulder and put his arm around my shoulder. As we walked into school, everybody began to stare. My face burn and cringed into Edward. His hand rubbed my upper arm.

Whispers erupted in the hallways and I kept my eyes on the floor. I felt bad for Edward; he could probably hear all of them. For once, I felt lucky I wasn't a vampire.

I saw one of my first friends here, Jessica, completely open mouthed at me. Her face was full of envy and shock. I smiled slightly at her.

I used to always wonder why I would get so angry about how girls in the school acted around Edward. I had to admit, they were all a lot prettier than me. They would flip their hair, and bat their eyes around him and I'd feel this growing anger and a sense of wanting. I never knew what it was until now. I was jealous. I didn't want other girls trying to get near Edward and attract his attention. I wanted him to be _mine_. I still wanted him to. Now all those girls were looking at me with the same expression I had on. I felt smug, I could completely have his attention and they couldn't.

We reached my English class and before we went in, Edward laid his hand on my forehead once more. I rolled my eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak but I put my hand over it. I became momentarily distract by his cool breath on my hand before I spoke. "I'm fine..." I told him, staring into his eyes, making him understand. I removed my hand and went inside without giving him a chance to speak. I didn't want them all worrying about me, especially Edward.

I sat down in my seat and started unpacking and Edward silently took his next to me. Mike Newton, who sat across from me leaned over.

"Hey Bella, I'm having a party in two weeks. How about you come? Jess will be there, and Eric, and Ben, What do you say?" His blue eyes were enthusiastic.

Mike had always been like a golden retriever, following me and helping me out when I was alone. This was new; he was talking to me with Edward right next to me. I could always tell he wanted to be more than friends but I always maneuvered out of that and stayed in the friend zone. I knew Jessica liked him and I didn't want her feelings to be hurt. Besides, I didn't like Mike that way.

So I didn't know how to let him down gently about the party. I wasn't good at parties and especially at _dancing_. That was embarrassment on a stick. All the while, I heard Edward growl under his breath. He never liked Mike; Edward said his thoughts were not a good place to be.

"I don't know, Mike..." I gnawed on my lip, looking away from his face.

"Well, think about it" Mike handed me an invitation.

"Okay" I took the piece of paper and shoved it into my backpack. He smiled and returned into his regular position.

I slowly looked over to Edward and he was glaring daggers at Mike, growling incoherently. I lightly slapped his arm. "Hey, calm down" He glared at me and I glared back. I wasn't afraid of Edward; I could do this all day. "I didn't decide if I was going or not"

He grunted, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest like a child, still growling. "You'd probably go out of kindness. If I am not mistaken, you are not a party person" Edward glared forward.

I clenched my teeth together. He knew me so well but it still made me angry that he made me sound like a bad person. _He's just trying to protect you_ The more noble side of me said. I sighed angrily. I knew he was protecting me, it was just annoying. I didn't say anything to Edward; I just paid attention to the lesson. My headache didn't return but the pain in my ribcage remained. I massaged the area where it hurt.

The lesson was on _Romeo and Juliet_, since we recently read the play. I still never got tired of that play. It always seemed to make my stomach produce butterflies.

"'_These Violent delights have violent ends_

_ And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,_

_ Which, as they kiss consume.'_" Mr. Berty quoted of the play.

I was silently mouthing the words to one of the deepest quotes in the play.

"This is what Friar Lawrence warned of Romeo and Juliet of their marriage. What does he mean by this statement? Miss. Swan?"

I felt my face burn up as the whole class turned to look at me. _Don't be a chicken, you know the answer._ I told myself. I took a deep breath.

"Um...what he meant by the statement is that the violent delights, which is their intense love for each other, have violent ends and that means that it will end in disaster, in which both of them die in the end. He's warning them that getting married so early and celebrating their love for each other so soon will not end well. Their love will die out like putting powder into fire."

After I finished my speech, a lot of people stared wide-eyed at me. I felt my face bursting into hot flames. I bit my lip and looked down.

"That is...correct, a very interesting assessment of the quote. Excellent, Miss. Swan." His eyes appraised me and returned to his lecture.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief that it was all over. My stomach started twisting into uncomfortable knots. Then I felt a pair of eyes on me again. I opened my lids to see Edward smiling at me. Was he impressed? He knew I knew the play like the back of my hand.

"Good job" he mouthed to me.

I smiled shyly at him and mouthed 'Thank you'

The lesson continued on and Edward and I had cooled down from our little argument, it was very hard to stay mad at him.

When the lesson was over, Alice was waiting outside the door and immediately she reach up on her toes for my forehead. I let out an exasperated sigh. She held up one finger and her expression became worried.

"I'll go home if I don't feel well, I promise." I told her again

She sighed and wringed her arm through mine, I gave Edward a parting glance. His expression was still anxious for whatever Alice saw. Alice tugged on my arm and I turned and headed to our Trigonometry class.

That day passed rather slowly and the pain in my rib cage slowly moved to abdomen and became a little sharper every hour. After each class, Edward or Alice would feel my forehead and look more anxious each time. I reassured them as many times as possible but they remained in their states. Edward would put his arm on my shoulder each time we walked the halls and Alice would wring our arms together. Emmett would muss my hair apologetically and Rosalie would touch my cheek comfortingly. Jasper would not touch me but he would calm the room for me, which I was thankful for.

By the time lunch had come, my headache returned, the sharp pain moved down from my abdomen, and I lost my appetite. I went immediately to our table and laid my head on the cold surface. Occasionally I would feel as if I had to throw up but then the nausea would subside. I should probably go to Carlisle after school to see what was up. I knew I would bring someone with me; I wasn't a fan of doctors. Doctors meant hospitals and hospitals meant needles. I shuddered.

All of the others went to get their fake food while Jasper kept watch. I felt calm spread through my body.

"Thanks, Jazz" I whispered to him.

"Anytime, Bella" He responded kindly, revealing some of his lost Southern accent.

After a few minutes, they all returned. Edward placed a water bottle in front of me and then set his tray down to my right. My heart fluttered, he was thinking about me.

"I said I didn't want anything, you didn't have to, Edward" I whispered to him.

"Its just to keep you hydrated" He answered simply.

Even through all of this, love blossomed in my heart for him. I sighed. "Thank you" I croaked.

Alice sat next to me and rubbed my shoulder.

"I'll go see Carlisle after school okay?" I said to both of them.

Alice was silent for a moment and sighed in relief. "Good idea, Bella"

"Mhm..." The sharp pain twisted and it was as if it was rotating from my lower right to abdomen. I groaned. It was worse than the headache.

Suddenly, I felt two cold hands gently grabbed both my shoulders and pulled me up. My head swam. Edward slid his arm around my waist and held me to his side. I felt my face burn up, my heart stutter and pick up its beat. I laid my head against his shoulder, one of my hands held onto the fabric of his shirt so I could hold myself there. The coldness and electricity eased my headache. I felt as relaxed as could possibly feel and I was glad Edward was delivering it. Occasionally, Edward's hand would massage my waist, right where the sharp pain was. It subsided the pain a little but not really. Every few minutes Alice would feel my forehead and get more anxious. She would more often stare off into the future.

I took the water bottle with my free hand and twisted the cap off. I took a little sip and cool, refreshing water slid down my throat and eased my headache. Edward seemed to relax a little to see I was drinking something.

I gently closed my eyes and felt the rise and fall of Edward's chest from breathing. A strange feeling came to me; I felt I could hear his heartbeat. Of course I couldn't but I sensed that his heart was still here, and it was still good and precious.

I felt him take a deep breath, "I'm sorry that we're being a little ridiculous to you, Bella." He rubbed my waist again. "I just don't want anything to happen to you." Alice cleared her throat very loudly. "We don't want anything to happen to you." He amended.

"Thank you" Alice said

"It's okay, I understand" I forgave them. I felt Edward's lips press against my forehead and a circuit rain through my ill veins. I smiled against his shoulder.

Alice check my forehead one more time after that. And spoke immediately, "Bella, you're running a bit of a fever are you sure-"

"I can make it, Alice, don't worry" I told her before she could panic even _more_.

The sharp pain moved back to my right side. I moaned into Edward's shoulder.

"Stupid pain..." I mumbled into his shirt.

Out of all of it, Edward chuckled. It was beautiful; it was layered in concern but still wonderful. I laughed a little too but it hurt too much.

The bell rang then so Edward and I headed off to biology. Edward moved his arm to my shoulder. Alice walked on my other side, still occasionally checking my forehead.

"Straight after your gym class, we're taking you right to the hospital." Alice muttered.

"Okay" I let Edward support my body weight; it hurt to even walk now! How was I going to deal with gym?

When we got into biology, I laid my head on the desk until Mr. Banner would come into the room. Edward's hand rubbed my back in small delicate circles. It seems so hard to believe he spent sixteen years, hardly touching me at all. When Mr. Banner came in, Edward patted my back, gesturing me to pick up my head.

Throughout the lesson, my head throbbed and banged and protested while the sharp pain became impossibly sharper. My stomach twisted, turned, and flipped until nausea finally set in. I wrote down as many notes as I could and listened to what I could. Sweat started to dew up on my forehead, I rubbed it away with me hand and then I finally felt my forehead for the first time. It was burning hot; I was definitely over my usual temperature. My mind was made up, I would go to Carlisle right after Biology, I'd drive myself, and the others shouldn't get in trouble because of me.

Suddenly I felt like I was about to throw up so I shot up my hand.

"Miss, Swan?" Mr. Banner looked a bit worried.

"I'm sorry but may I use the bathroom?" My voice was weak and shallow.

"Is it an emergency?" He said, exasperated, thinking I would skip like so many other students.

"Yes" I said quickly.

"Alright, take the pass" he gestured to the bathroom pass.

I didn't look at Edward as I quickly rose from my seat, took the bathroom pass, and nearly ran from the room, tripping three times which made my stomach even worse.

About halfway across campus to the bathroom, I knew I wouldn't make it, I knelt down on the sidewalk and vomited onto the ground. I closed my eyes, not looking at the disgusting liquid. I knew I wasn't done. I threw up multiple times on the sidewalk. I tried to stand up but the sharp pain was too much and I could move more than a few steps. I gently knelt down on the sidewalk and held my stomach. I groaned. Tears started falling down my cheeks.

Eventually, I felt my consciousness slipping as I laid my head on the cold, wet pavement. My eyes slowly slid closed as I slipped into darkness.

* * *

I felt as if I was flying. Wind whipped across my face like a slap. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. The trees were passing by at an incredible blur; all I could see was green. The pain at my right side twisted and became impossibly sharper; it was as if a knife was inside my lower right abdomen. I moaned.

I looked up to see Edward. I felt his cool arms underneath me and his legs were gliding. Was Edward _running?_ I didn't want to look, I might get sick again.

"Bella, are you alright?" He looked down at me, his eyes panicked and anxious.

"No. My right side hurts, really bad, Edward." I whimpered and leaned against him.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. We'll be at the hospital in a minute and we'll make it go away, I promise" His voice was full of concern and anxiousness.

The knife swan across my abdomen, I moaned, and tears fell down my cheeks.

The wind on my face slowed so I knew we were there. Bright lights came into my vision and the air was warmer. The smell of blood filled my nostrils. The stomach churned. _Wonderful, _I thought to myself with sick sarcasm_, what else could go wrong!?_

"Oh my!" I heard one of the nurses exclaim.

"I need to see my father. Now" Edward growled at her.

"Of course, Edward, he's in his office" She tripped over her words.

Edward immediately walked, fast towards our father's office.

"Feel better, Bella!" I faintly heard the nurse yell. I'll thank her later.

The hallways began to blur up as Edward "walked" to Carlisle's office.

"You're going to be okay, Bella, I promise" Edward said softly to me. Tears were still running down my cheeks.

"Bella!" I heard Carlisle. "Bella! Sweetheart, are you alright?" I felt his hand on my forehead. "103.2. Not good at all."

"Carlisle, my right side hurts...bad" I whimpered and looked up as his concerned but calm mask.

"Is it an ache?" he asked, turning from Dad to Dr. Carlisle.

"No, its sharp...it feels like a knife..." Both Edward and I winced. I winced from the pain; I don't know why he winced...

"It hurts on your right side?" Carlisle asked

"Yes, but it travels up and down." I made circular motions to where the pain was moving to, from my abdomen to my lower right side.

"It's appendicitis, no doubt." He declared. The term was unfamiliar to me.

"Appendicitis! I should have known!" Edward growled angrily and frustrated.

"It's alright son, she probably didn't give you much details"

The pain thrashed inside of me and I moaned, producing new tears. "Carlisle..."

"Bella, I'm sorry, but we have to take out your appendix" He smoothed out my hair.

"You mean a...a _surgery_?" my voice reached two octaves.

"I'm sorry, Bella, it's the only way to get rid of it." He sounded worried but professional.

Tears sprang down my cheeks. "What if something happens?" I hiccupped my tears.

"Nothing will happen, I promise, it's very simple" He touched my cheek.

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned into Edward. He held me tightly to his body, it hurt but I didn't care. Panic spread throughout my system and I started hyperventilating.

"Shh, Bella, its going to be alright, I won't let anything bad happen, I promise" Edward's voice was in my ear and soothed me but it didn't stop the tears from running down my face and staining his shirt.

I looked up at Edward's beautiful face. What if something went wrong? What if I was never going to see this creature I loved so much again? I started to whimper louder and the sharp pain knocked around on my right.

"I'm going to have to do a laparoscopy" Carlisle told Edward.

"Alright"

"Bella," I looked up at Carlisle. "everything is going to be okay. I love you and I won't let anything happen, alright?"

I nodded; he brushed my hair and went out his office door.

"Jackie! I need a stretcher! Stat!" He called down to the nurse.

Edward leaned down and kissed the top of my head. Big, wet tears fell down my cheeks. Edward, I loved him so much. I weakly through my arms around him and squeezed him. He hugged my gently. I then heard a gurney and I started to panic.

"You're going to be okay, the pain will go away, I promise..." Edward whispered into my ear before untying my arms.

"Easy there..." Carlisle's voice said.

Edward gently set me down on the soft bed. He kept my hand and they raced me down the hallway. I kept my eyes on Edward's face, wondering if it was the last time I would see it. He looked back at me with longing and worry.

We made it to a large white room with other patients.

A nurse came up with a needle. I gasped at the sharp object. She rubbed alcohol on the crease in my elbow. I whimpered.

"Bella, Bella, don't look at it, look at me" Edward's voice said with anxiousness. I looked back at his face.

His golden eyes burned like fire into my, pulling my attention to him.

"Listen to me, I love you, everything is going to be fine and if not, then the wholly monster down there take me to hell" Hot, fresh tears finally washed down my face. He had said he loved me, in so many words. I didn't let hope fill up in me, he was probably saying that out of family love. Somehow, I could accept that. I could accept the fact that he loved in me in some shape or form.

The needle met my skin and medicine flowed through my system. I felt myself slipping out of consciousness. I looked up and his face began to become fuzzy.

"I love you too..." I said to him, finally fulfilling this constant want. Right after I said my final words, I was swallowed by the dark medicine and felt myself dive into a pool of numbness.


	13. Chapter 13: Safe

Phasing Moon Chapter 13: Safe

Edward's POV

"_Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole"_

Pieces- Red

I watched the door as Alice, Emmett, Rose, and I waited to get our food. Jasper had volunteered to look after Bella. I would have but I needed to speak to Alice without Bella. Alice picked up a blue tray; her eyes were unfocused, into the future. All I could see were blurry colors, it made me anxious. Before, I'd seen Bella in her bed at home now the image is hardly coherent. I was very worried about leaving Bella alone. She was becoming even sicker by the hour, her fever was becoming warmer. Alice and I would each check when she would leave class and when she would arrive. She became too weak to bother rolling her eyes anymore.

"Alice," She looked up at me blinked back into the present. "How bad is it?" only she could tell me. I started anxiously filling my plate, awaiting her predicted answer.

"I don't know, I'm just as worried as you are...You have to watch her when she goes into gym. She could really get hurt. I don't know if she is going to make it home" Alice's voice was agonized.

Bella was my whole life, if she's gone, I don't know how I would live with myself. I needed her; it was so hard to be just hundred feet from her now. With my thought, my Bella walked into the room. Her hair had become more untidy. Her whole face was flushed and more red than usual. Her posture was slumped, and she limped to the table. I wanted to go and help her, she seemed so unwell. Her heart was thumping unevenly. What if she faints? What if she gets hurt? What if I'm not in time? So many nightmares poured through my head without permission.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed, grabbing my hand from the metal counter. I'd made a dent with my hand. I check the thoughts around me and made sure no one had noticed. I released the demented metal.

"Oops" I said quietly.

"Calm down!" She molded the metal to make sure it wasn't noticeable.

"Sorry..." I said, feeling embarrassed of my behavior.

"Don't worry, she's right over there, Jasper is making her as comfortable as possible." Alice gestured to my love who was sitting with her head on the table.

_"Thanks, Jazz"_ she whispered, her voice was rough.

"_Anytime, Bella"_ Jasper said, releasing his old Southern accent.

She looked very warm. Too warm. I needed to be near her, to make sure she was okay. I wanted to put my arms around her and murmur that she was going to be okay and I wanted to say how much she meant to me. So many things I wanted to do for her.

Alice reached up to put her hand on my shoulder. "She'll be fine for a few minutes; I can see at least _that_ far."

I took a deep breath and could faintly taste her sweet scent. A smile played on my lips. The burn in my throat was the proof she was still here.

I picked up more unappealing food than usual, just in case Bella is hungry. I did get her a water to keep her hydrated and cooled down.

Out if all the heartbeats, I could pick out Bella's uneven, slow rhythm. It was also weak so I sped up as much as I could on the line and giving money to the interested cashier. I had no patience to deal with _that_ today. I would be over there in a second but Alice was gripping my arm. I growled at her but she didn't seem to care.

I made it to the table and set the water bottle in front of Bella. Her head lifted slightly and her heart fluttered as I sat next to her sickly form. She turned her face slightly toward me.

"I said I didn't want anything, you didn't have to, Edward" Even if she was sick, I loved the way she said my name. It was full of compassion.

"Its just to keep you hydrated" I told her, I studied that humans needed water when they were on a fever, it helped cool their system down just not too much.

Her heart started to speed up and picked up its normal even pace. "Thank you" She whispered. I smiled at her, which she couldn't see.

Alice danced to Bella's other side and rubbed her left shoulder. She looked at me, worried. I sighed.

"I'll go see Carlisle after school today, okay?" She told us. Relief radiated through my body. I trusted Carlisle with every part of me to keep her safe and healthy. Alice sighed in relief for she saw Bella in the hospital with Carlisle, looking more healthy.

"Good idea, Bella" She said

"Mhm..." she hummed. She seemed tired, I wonder how much sleep she had last night. I didn't hear her twisting and turning or even waking.

Then I heard her let out an agonized whimper. She was hurting. She needed comfort in her cold time. So I very gently took her fragile shoulders and pulled her light body up into a sitting position. I could probably cool her down. Her body felt hot, way too hot. I put my hand around her waist to support her weight and held her to my side. Her heart sputtered to a stop and then picked up its fast beat. I worried that she might pull away but instead her laid her hot fevered head on shoulder and held onto my shirt for support. My cold heart suddenly felt warmer, she didn't care if I was cold or a monster, and she let me hold her in my arms without her permission. Tiny electric sparks radiated off of Bella and onto me sending thrills through my body.

Her short shallow breaths washed onto my chest and the warmth was extraordinary. It made me feel..._human_. I softly massaged her waist, hoping it would make her feel better. I didn't know what hurt and I didn't want to ask; I don't think she would want reminders of her pain because I know I don't. Her body seemed to calm down since I held her. Her heart was returning to its usual steady, healthy pace. It made me happy that I was the one who make her do that, it gave me hope that maybe she could love me. It reminded me of when I first heard it; her big brown child eyes looking at me and that little heart beating, vital and healthy.

Alice scooted over and felt Bella's forehead. In her mind, Bella's head was hotter than when Alice had last felt it. I would feel it too but I didn't want to upset Bella. Alice's vision of Bella in the hospital started to blur. I looked over at her in panic and her face reflected mine. I wish I could just hold onto Bella forever, so she would always be safe but I don't know if she would be happy. I pushed the pain aside, Bella needed me right now and I would not make it anymore difficult for her.

I loved her, and even if she didn't want to be mine, I would _always _be _hers_. I've _been_ hers from the very beginning; she always had that pull on me, even when I didn't know I was in love with her. I would always catch her when she fell, even if that meant death. There is no one else in my life who could hold me like Bella has.

I rubbed her waist slowly, very carefully, controlling the pressure of my arm and being fully aware not to hurt her. She took a deep breath and then winced. I didn't ask her what hurt I just continued to massage her waist, I wish I could do more and make the pain go away.

After a few minutes of the routine, Bella slowly picked up the water bottle and took a little sip. My form relaxed because her body cool a little bit but a human wouldn't notice. Her body heat had become impossibly hotter even with the water and I wanted to beg her to just go see Carlisle, in fact I'd go drive her myself. I needed to be with her at all times. She kept taking hesitant sips of the water and I tried to comfort her as much as possible and make it absolutely painless.

Alice kept checking her forehead and it was still getting more and more feverish. Then afterwards Alice would look at the hospital vision and it eventually became very blurry.

_Keep her safe! Keep her by your side as much as possible! This isn't going to turn out good, _Alice's thoughts were full of agony of not knowing the future for her sister.

I took a deep breath "I'm sorry that we're being a little ridiculous to you, Bella." I told Bella and rubbed her comfortingly, "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

_Excuse me? _Alice cleared her throat very distinctly.

"_We_ don't want anything to happen to you" I amended for her.

"_Thank_ you" Alice said curtly.

"Its okay, I understand" her voice was full of sincerity. She knew it was annoying but understood that it was necessary. I, very carefully, kissed her forehead; her warmth tingled on my lips. She was burning up. I shot Alice a panic glance and she checked Bella's temperature.

"Bella, you're running a bit of a fever are you sure"- Alice started to say but Bella interrupted.

"I can make it, Alice, don't worry" She faintly said. Stubborn. I wanted to let out an exasperated sigh but I held it in.

Bella stiffened and then let out an agonizing moan into my shoulder. _Bella. _Pain shot through me. She was still hurting.

"Stupid pain..." she muttered.

A chuckle slipped through my lips. Why did I just _laugh? _She is in pain and I am _laughing_? What the _hell_ is wrong with me?

I looked at it for a moment and it seemed she was like a child talking about how stupid it was, as if she were addressing something more annoying than painful. I guess that's what I found humorous. But I still shouldn't have laughed, she might feel upset

Just as I was beating myself up, Bella giggled too and then flinched. It didn't hurt her? She was so strange. What was she thinking? I was about to ask her but then the bell rang so I moved my arm to her shoulder and guided her out. Alice walked on the other side of her, sometimes checking Bella's forehead and then looking at the blurry vision. More panic filled up inside me as I thought of futures for Bella. I flinched occasionally, they were horrific, and impossible but that didn't stop me from worrying. At about halfway, Bella started to limp so I supported her weight, she was still light as a feather.

When we got to Biology, Alice turned to Bella, looking her strictly in the eye. "Straight after gym class, we're taking you to the hospital"

"Okay" Bella murmured.

Alice walked away. _If she can make it..._Alice thought, agonized. I winced at her thoughts.

Bella walked to our table and sat her head on the surface. I sat in my seat next to her and started to massage her back as her heart returned to that odd, uneven rhythm. I looked over and her chest was hardly rising and falling. Just in time, Mr. Banner came into the room so I patted her back gently and she sat up.

My Bella struggled throughout the whole class. She took notes and seemed to listen but her body was getting weaker, I could sense it. I was eventually convinced that I would have to beg her to go to the hospital after Biology or I'd take her myself. Her breaths became shallower each minute. Right as I was going to ask Bella to just skip class and go to the hospital, her stomach gurgled strangely and her hand shot up.

_Oh boy _Mr. Banner thought as he looked at Bella. In his vision, she was flushed red with sweat dewed up on her head. My face looked agonized and pained. "Miss. Swan?"

"I'm sorry but may I go to the bathroom?" Bella spoke quick and weakly

_I better ask just in case _"Is it an emergency?" he asked, trying to be exasperated.

_Just let her go! Please! _My mind begged of the man.

"Yes" she choked.

_Looks like it _"Alright, take the pass" He pointed to the blue pass.

Bella immersed quickly from her chair, grabbed the pass and nearly ran from the room, tripping three times. As soon as I would get the chance, I would go find her. _Be careful, Bella. _Whispers started to fill the classroom

"Did you _see_ her?"

"Looks like Swan is going to take a puke"

"Ugh, she looked disgusting!"

"Look at her trip! Hysterical!"

All these whispers, I wanted to rip all their heads off. Humans can be so cruel with their talk of my Bella; making fun of her clumsiness and her ill state. I gripped myself to the table, holding my form there so I wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Poor Bella, I hope she's okay"

I looked up to the first kind comment and it was young Angela Weber speaking to the idiot, Mike Newton.

"Yeah, I hope she's not sick or anything"

For once, I was appreciative of that moron. He seemed just as concerned as Angela. I then looked into his thoughts and all he cared about was his stupid party he had invited her too. I suppressed a growl. All he cared about was having a date to it. He wasn't actually worried about her health at all. I wanted to teach that boy some manners. I wondered how his head would sound being crushed against the wall...

I looked into Angela's thoughts and they were full of pure concern. She replayed the memory of Bella leaving in her mind. I relaxed. She was truly worried about her friend. _Maybe I should go check on her... she seemed really unwell... _Angela began thinking of ways to go to Bella and comfort her. _Maybe I could look up a few remedies for an upset stomach online..._Angela was a very good person compared to the school population. She was always happy with what her life had given her. She would always listen and give an honest opinion. She was much like Bella. Angela always put herself before others, just like Bella. Angela and Bella were such good friends, their friendship was stronger than Bella's and Jessica's and Bella and Mike's (Thank the holy lord above). It was sincere and honest.

_Edward! _Alice's voice screamed into my head. Then the vision came; the one that had always been my worst nightmare. Bella curled up on the sidewalk. Her skin was pale and ghostlike. _No_! I was out of the room at running human pace then once I was out of site, I ran as fast I possibly could to her scent. Bella was only halfway across the school grounds. Her heart beat was hardly audible to my ears.

I found her. My poor, sick Bella wrapped into a little ball on the sidewalk. I could see her body fluid a few feet from where she was. She had puked. She was deathly sick and I wasn't sure if I would make it on time. I didn't hesitate when I got to her, I picked her up and then started racing to the hospital, forgetting my car.

Her breathing was very short breaths. I ran along the parkway but not enough for passengers of cars to see me. The trees passed my vision and I ripped a few little trees out of their sockets from my furious running. I wouldn't let something as small as a sickness take the life of the most important person in my world. My vision started to turn red as I raced faster through the thick, green forest. I looked down at her dead expression. _You're not leaving me_ I told her through the fury of my thoughts.

My thoughts went to passed all this. If Bella doesn't make it...then I'm not sure how I'll survive. I'd rather die than be without her. There was only one way I could kill myself, go to Italy. I would provoke the most powerful royal vampire family in history, the Volturi. Easy enough I would ask them to kill me, and then I would be with my Bella. Alice would probably see my decision and try to stop me but I would not listen to her. My world doesn't make sense anymore without this creature. She makes me see life so differently, she makes it look happier. I couldn't lose her.

I was hallway there. I ran faster. Bella's heart started to speed up as well her breathing did also. Like miracle, her brown incredulous eyes opened. Her eyes focused on the trees above, probably a blur to her. Was she in shock? What hurt? Would I be too late?

"Bella, are you alright" I looked down at her. She winced and her face crumpled into pain. She hid her face and thoughts from me as she leaned against my chest.

"No" She whimpered. I wanted so badly to make the pain go away. Bella shouldn't be hurting, she didn't deserve such agony. "My right side hurts, really bad, Edward." That was not a good sign.

All I could do was comfort her. "I'm so sorry, Bella. We'll be at the hospital in a minute and we'll make it go away, I promise" How much I wanted to do more.

Bella flinched and her eyes glistened with tears. Agony. I couldn't stand the thought of Bella even _in _pain and now she is. I should have taken her to the hospital earlier when I had the chance. Now it could be too late.

I reached the hospital and scent of human blood flowed through my system. It was dull compared to Bella's delicious scent so it didn't bother me much. Although, Bella seemed to always get nauseous around blood. She let out an annoyed grunt.

"Oh my!" Nurse Ginger put her hands to her chest. _Poor Bella and Edward...he looks agonized ,maybe I should comfort him..._

"I need to see my father, _now_" I emphasized that I was not in the mood for her flirting thoughts.

He heart stuttered "Of course, Edward, he's in his office." She stammered.

I could pick up the calm and quite thoughts of my father down the hallway. I quickly turned and rain as fast a mortal could. The nurse shouted a 'get well' to Bella. Once we were alone, I raced down to Carlisle's office.

Bella was looking up at me, her cheeks wet. "You're going to be okay, Bella, I promise" I said gently to her. She slowly nodded.

_Edward? _He thought just as I entered his office. My face was pained and agonized. His thoughts immediately focused to the limp Bella in my arms.

"Bella!" he was over examining her within a millisecond. "Bella! Sweetheart, are you alright?" _My Daughter..._his thoughts were pained. His hand went to her forehead. _Oh no..._ "103.2...not good at all" he tried to keep the pain from his voice, so he wouldn't frighten Bella.

"Carlisle, my right side hurts...bad" she murmured in pain.

"Is it an ache?" Carlisle tried to sound as professional as possible, pushing thoughts of panic for his human daughter aside.

"No, its sharp...it feels like a knife..." She winced and I did also. Bella...she was in more pain than I thought.

"It hurts on your right side?" Carlisle asked, to confirm his diagnosis.

"Yes, but it travels up and down." Bella's hand moved from her abdomen to her lower right hip. It was appendicitis.

"It's appendicitis, no doubt." Carlisle declared just as I realized what it was. Bella looked confused.

Anger filled me. I should have known what it was from the very start, the fever, the headache, the pain on the_ right _side. "Appendicitis! I should have known!" I growled, furiously.

"It's alright son, she probably didn't give you much details" He didn't feel like thinking about it when he had such a sick daughter to take care of.

Bella groaned. "Carlisle...."

_My poor daughter, I wish there was some other way. _Carlisle pushed her hair from her sweaty face. "Bella, I'm sorry, but we have to take out your appendix"

Her heart picked up its beat. "You mean a...a _surgery_?" She nearly shrieked in agony. I could hardly stand it. The fact of Bella being cut open...I flinched.

_I need to comfort her... _"I'm sorry, Bella, it's the only way to get rid of it." _If only there was something else I could do. _

Tears oozed down her cheeks. "What if something happens?" she hyperventilated and hiccupped. My Bella. She shouldn't have to do this!

_Bella..._ "Nothing will happen, I promise, it's very simple" Carlisle's hand moved to her cheek, trying to calm her down. She just shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She hid her face in my chest. She was still hyperventilating, despite Carlisle's attempt in comforting her. I gently squeezed worried that I might have hurt her but she didn't let a sound escape her lips. _Son, she needs to calm down, she's starting to get symptoms of a panic attack. _Carlisle thought to me, Anxious.

"Shh, Bella, its going to be alright, I won't let anything bad happen, I promise" I kept the pain from entering my voice. She calmed down a little but still cried into my shirt. Her red brown eyes looked up at me and she whimpered even louder. So much agony filled my heart. I needed her, she couldn't leave me.

_I'll make it so no severe side effects will happen. _Carlisle thought to me. I relaxed a bit.

"I'm going to have to do a laparoscopy" He told me. It was a surgery in which the doctor inserts a camera into the patient and does the surgery by controlling the camera.

"Alright" I said in agony.

"Bella" Carlisle said and Bella looked at him. "Everything is going to be okay. I love you and I won't let anything happen, alright?" He said, calmly and honestly.

She nodded weakly.

"Jackie, I need a stretcher! Stat!" Carlisle yelled down the hall. I looked at Bella's heartbreaking, agonized face, and pressed my lips to the top of it. Her warm fragile arms slid around my neck and squeezed it. I hugged her softly, trying to keep my love as close as possible to my heart. I love you, Bella. I wanted to tell her so badly. To let her know, that I'll always love her no matter what happens to us.

Bella heard the stretcher screech across the hold. She let out a little gasp and her heart started beating rapidly.

I reluctantly gave her up and put her on the gurney. She kept her eyes on my face. I just let myself imagine for a moment that she loved me, the monster, back. Her eyes full of agonizing heartbreak and pain and longing. I kept her soft, warm hand as they ran her down the hallway. We went into the preparation room and I could see Jackie getting out a syringe. _Oh no_. Bella never liked needles.

She came up and started rubbing alcohol on the crease in Bella's arm. Bella gasped at the needle and whimpered. She began to hyperventilate again.

"Bella, Bella. Don't look at it. Look at me" I told her anxiously. Her brown terrified eyes turned back to me. I squeezed her hand and stared her deep in the eyes, letting the honest truth of my words roll out.

"Listen to me," I begged, hesitating at about what I was about to say "I love you, everything is going to be fine and if not, then the wholly monster down there take me to hell" I didn't technically tell her I was in love with her but I always have loved her. Ever since she came into my life I _did_ love her but I wasn't _in_ love with her at that time. Her heart sputtered and blush floated like rose petals on her cheeks.

Finally, big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Her face became filled with love and happiness. For once, there was no trace of pain. I wanted this second to last for as long as I existed.

I kept my eyes on Bella as the needle plunged into her skin. Her eyes started to become clouded. She blinked through the stupor. She slurred the words that could only put me to rest through this horrific day. "I...love you...too..." and with that her eyes slid closed. Her hand fell limply into mine. I didn't let the sadness of the maybe-last site drown me. I let the happiness of her possibly loving me back fill through me. I smiled a little down at her. They raced the gurney and her hand left mine. Her warmth lingered on my cold skin, still feeling extraordinary.

Carlisle ran at human pace past me, and touched my shoulder. _Go to the overlook room, Edward, if you need her, but its not going to be the best site. We need to talk once this is over. _

"Keep her alive" Was all I choked out in an agonizing whisper.

_I will. _He thought of my face in anguish and the way I had been recently looking at Bella. He would notice my eyes had a new light in them. They were full of happiness. He knew the truth. He knew I loved her.

I followed Carlisle in his mind. He was silently planning out the surgery; I ignored it as his site was on Bella's blank face. His hand had replaced mine, even though she couldn't feel it. Her hair was still in a messed up pony tail when they started taking the rubber band out. Her thick chestnut hair flowed over and I couldn't find such a more beautiful site.

But the blank and paleness of her hair started to bring old, locked up images into my mind. Alice's constant visions of her vampire-red eyes opening into the world, her vampire form running through the forest, her blank expression as a newborn. I would never let her suffer such a death title. Bella deserved better than that. She should be warm and alive, not cold and dead. My happiness had vanished.

They started removing her clothing to put her in a hospital gown so I exited Carlisle's mind, to try and give her as much privacy as possible. I did wonder what her body looked like. Her form would be small and slim with her flat stomach, her collarbone showing from her skin, rising up and down from her breathing. I wonder what it would _feel _like. I stopped myself, disgusted.

I had fulfilled most of my silly fantasies within the last few months but they're still dangerous for Bella. I've imagined of holding her face in the palm of my hand, or touching her bottom lip with my finger, or maybe to cradle her head in my hands. I don't understand how it's so hard to do those actions when I can merely hold her in my arms and even give her little kisses. Maybe it's because I have to be more careful with these actions because her face is very fragile. It just screams at me not to touch it. If I were to lose a second of concentration while touching her face...I winced again.

I made it to the overlook room where family members or friends of the patience could watch the operation. I, however, was not going to watch the love of my existence be cut open but I would listen to her breathing and heartbeat, I was so attuned to it, I could pick it out from other humans. I looked down and Bella's form was in a deep stupor and her face was completely pale. I listened for her small, fragile, heartbeat and heard its uneven rhythm.

_She's in good hands son. _Carlisle thought to me.

"I know. Thank you" I sat and put my head in my hands. I blocked out all the other human minds as much as possible. Instead I listened to their conversations over the surgery.

"Dr. Cullen, are you sure you can handle this?" Dr. Gregory asked, unsure.

"It's alright. She's my daughter and it's my responsibility to take care of her. She's gone through a lot" Carlisle replied, calm.

"Alright" Dr. Greg replied.

"Now make the incision here" I heard him pat her soft skin.

They clanked the metal and found four needles. Carlisle took the device to control the camera. "I'll be monitoring the camera" All the of the doctors silently agreed. Four metal syringes broke into Bella's skin, I groaned into my hands.

_She's fine, Son _Carlisle thought to me and his eyes were on the monitor. I took in a shaky breath.

"Good, Greg" As they made the prefect incisions.

"Is your son up there?" Nurse Kelli asked.

"Yes, he's very worried for her."

"The poor boy," _Watching his own family be cut open..._

I groaned in pain.

"Yes, they've become closer recently and he's been very protective and loving." Carlisle said, proud.

I didn't deserve his gratitude. The way Carlisle had always treated me was always too much, appreciation that I did not deserve.

"I'm proud to have him as a son" _And I am, Edward. _He silently put me into the conversation. The way he spoke of me never made sense.

"He must be a good kid. I've heard great things about this little girl also" Greg said

"Yes, I'm very proud to have her in my family as well" Carlisle murmured staring at Bella's face. I took a peek into his mind and her face was peaceful. It reminded me of when she was nine and I first saw her sleep.

"I heard what happened to her parents. They were much appreciated everywhere in town" Kelli murmured, sympathetic.

"Indeed, it was very hard for Bella to get over it. It still bothers her now, to never know her parents. She never shows how much it hurts but sometimes I can see it. Though, she seems happy to be in my family." The way Carlisle spoke of Bella made sense, proud and compassionate. Bella _deserved_ to be appreciated. She had a good soul.

"Well you're taking good care of her, Dr. Cullen. No one could have done better" Kelli commented.

"Thank you, Kelli"

The surgery continued without flaw. Bella's heart was weak and uneven throughout all of it. I was anxious and afraid at the same time. I kept myself from leaving the painful sight. This maybe the last time I can see her and I'm not letting myself leave. Once they removed her appendix, her heart started to become more healthy and slow. I let out a sigh of relief.

_She's okay_ Carlisle thought in relief. Carlisle volunteered to stitch up her wounds. He was quick and painless. The stitching was done within five minutes. I ran my hands throw my hair and finally letting the strong relief flow through me. Bella was going to be okay. Thank goodness.

I got up and ran at human pace back to the hallway where they were coming out. Carlisle had one hand on the railing of the gurney, pushing it to the examination room. I came up next to Carlisle and he put his other hand on my shoulder. _We're going to go to my office while they do examinations_. I nodded. I walked behind Carlisle and took Bella's hand. It was cooled down to a normal temperature. For a second, I thought my own legs would buckle from the relief. Bella's hand was the only thing that kept me up.

Carlisle retrained me when they went to room. _You'll see her soon. _I stiffly nodded.

We walked in silence, Carlisle didn't think, he just focused on the walls. He wanted to talk to me about my feelings for Bella, I already knew that. He, as a rightful father, was being protective for both of us.

When we entered his office, I sat into one of the seats in front of his dark mahogany desk. He stood against the wall, facing it. He didn't want me to see his face.

"You love her..." Carlisle said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Yes, more than my whole world" I told him honestly.

_I trust you to protect her, son. She's my little girl. _

"I know." I took a deep breath. "I can't describe it, Carlisle. She's just automatically my whole world. The thought of her not being here with me is just..." I slowly shook my head, unable to finish.

_I felt the same when I met Esme. I couldn't just let her go, and die. I didn't hesitate to change her. _

Fury filled me. I didn't want her to become one of us. She deserved a human life. "I don't want Bella to be one of us..." I spoke each word slowly.

"Then what will you do, Edward? She'll eventually...be gone..." Carlisle didn't dare to say the word; he couldn't imagine Bella gone as much as I could.

"I'll find a way to...be with her..."

He turned around, and his face was full of agony. "That's out of the question. Just...consider it. It doesn't have to happen right away. You and Bella can wait as long you want." Carlisle said calmly

"I don't even know if she loves me back" I choked out in pain

He took a deep breath, walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. "Only time will give you the answer, son"

"It's the only thing I can hope for"

"Something tells me that she'll love you. Bella's very unique and she's always looked to you with love." I let him fill images into my head of Bella growing up around me. She would always smile at me and I would keep my distance but smile. "I trust you to always protect and love her. I'm not worried. You deserve this. You've lived so alone for so long."

I stayed silent. Carlisle looked at the clock and decided that her blood test was done. "Let's go check on her"

"Agreed" The sooner I would be with Bella, the better. Carlisle trusted and approved of me for Bell. But the question was, was _Bella_ going to trust and approve me?


	14. Chapter 14: A dreaming recovery

Phasing Moon

Chapter 14: A dreaming recovery

Bella's POV

"_So take me far away  
And hold me close to your heart  
And do me just this little favour  
For I do, yes I do love you"_

KT Tunstall, Little Favours

Fear. That was all I could feel, as I raced through the dark forest. The ruby-eyed fiend pursued behind me, fast. His wicked laugh filled my ears and I ran faster, tripping constantly. My legs cramped up as I ran deeper through the green maze. If I were to give up because of my weak human reactions, it would be over. I would never see the light of day ever again.

A twig caught my ankle and I fell into the dark leaved ground. I groaned and held onto my ankle. Pain shot and blood emptied from it. I looked at my blood covered hand then up at the sadistic vampire. He smiled, showing his sharp white teeth. I gasped and covered my face with my hands. I didn't want to him spring and feel the pain of my death.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled through my hands. I tensed, ready for his sharp teeth to sink into my neck. After a few moments of silence, I opened my eyes and light filled through my hands. I waited, unsure of what was going on. When more silence followed, I slowly lifted my face from my hands and gasped

The site was like anything I'd ever seen. A bright bay opened up in front of me. The sun reflecting sparkles onto the water and forest. The sun was so bright, but it didn't hurt my eyes. The grass under me was smooth as satin and fear had evaporated from my system. I couldn't make sense of the beautiful site. Trees surrounded the huge bay and sparkled bright with intensity.

I rubbed my fists over my eyes, wondering if this was a dream. I inhaled and could taste the sweet air. I could taste everything. The water, the roses, the sun...

Warmth radiated over my skin from the brightness of it all. I looked down and noticed I wasn't in the same outfit I was when I was running from the dangerous vampire. A white, sparkly dress fitted my slim form, it was beautiful as sun beams hit the little diamonds and reflected sparkles. My skin was clean of the blood and scabs of the run. I ran my hand over my bare leg and it was as smooth as silk. Red roses covered me; their thorns did not bother me, all I could feel was their smooth petals. I picked up one of the lovely flowers and held it to my chest. It's beauty blossomed into my heart, filling me with love.

I slowly rose to my feet, still stunned by the site of the lake. I wasn't in forks any more... I was in my own almost perfect place. If only I could see Edward...he would complete it with his beauty. A smile played on my lips and love grew in my heart. I clutched the rose closer to me, wishing he was here with me.

"Edward" my voice rang clear as bell with need. His name sent thrills through my body. "Edward" I said again and the same thrill filled me. I felt almost whole. "I love you..." my voice sang with sincerity. I closed my eyes, smiling, and felt my heart about burst. I did love him.

A sensation filled the air. It was an anticipating feeling, electricity ran through my veins and I could almost feel his presence. His scent filled my nostrils and I could almost taste it, the delicious smell that had always made my mouth water. My heart sprang for him.

"Edward?" I asked, unsure if he was even there. The electricity flowed down my throat, sparking everything to life.

A soft, warm hand touched my cheek. I wanted to flinch but then the sparks flowed rapidly through my body. Excitement filled my heart. His musical chuckle filled my ear. It was so beautiful that I giggled.

"I love you too..." His words flowed clear in my head. My heart fluttered for the words that I'd wanted to hear ever since I found out I loved him. My smile turned into a grin, my teeth revealing.

"Good" my voice full of happiness. Now my moment was officially perfect. He stroked my hair and put a strand behind my ear. His warmth was extraordinary.

"Bella" His voice caressed my name

"Yes?" I answered eagerly to his wonderful voice.

"Open your eyes" He gently ordered

My lids slowly opened. Edward's beautiful face stood inches from mine. I gasped with a shaky breath. The first thing I noticed, his stunningly bright gold eyes were a leafy green color. They were just as beautiful. His skin was not white anymore, it was a healthy pale color, but darker than mine. Some freckles ran across his cheeks. Standing so close, I could feel him radiating heat. It felt amazing. Who was this person? Was this the man I had always loved?

I took one careful hand and touched his bronze hair, feeling the texture of it, soft and wavy, then moved my hand down his face, and then stroked his cheekbones which were flushed. He was soft and warm under my fingertips and little tingles raced through my hand. My fingers moved to his lips, they parted when I touched them and his warm breath washed over my hand. I then moved it to where his heart was, and I felt its beat against my palm.

"Is it really you?" I whispered to him. I was so afraid that Edward, no not this warm Edward, but _Edward_, The man I loved, human or vampire, was not real, just a dream. "You- You're...you're....human?" I choked out in wonder.

He nodded and let his lips curved up into my favorite crooked smile. It stopped my heart. My eyes opened wide. It _was_ him.

"It _is _you" I whispered. I threw my arms around his waist and pressed myself against him, drowning in his warmth. This beautiful man in front of me _was _my Edward. His arms wrapped around me and I felt his lips on my shoulder. Electricity filled me. He hid his face in my hair while I laid my ear across his heart. It was beating healthy, and vibrant. I sighed in content. I never thought that in my life that it was possible to hear his heart but here I am. I don't care if it's a dream, as long as it's something.

Suddenly we were falling. I landed on his chest and he landed with a thud. "Oof!" He exhaled as I land on him. I forgot we were both human, I could push him down now.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! Are you okay?" I panicked as I looked his surprised face.

He looked up and laughed. "I think the question is are _you _okay? You like a scared little cat" he laughed again. It was better than any sound in the universe.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Har, har. I'm not that delicate" I suddenly rolled off of him and then I was the one who landed with an 'oof' He continued to laugh at me. I laughed along, at the silliness of this dream or whatever it is. His emerald eyes gazed into mine, making me lose my track of thought. The only thing I knew was that there was nothing more I wanted more than him. I wanted every second of forever with him. Nothing else could ever complete me like Edward.

His fingers twined through mine. Then he brought them to his face. His lips grazed my fingertips, each getting an electric circuit. Then I wanted it, I wanted his lips against mine, warmth against warmth. To show him how much I loved him.

"Can I asked for something?" I asked, wary. Would he want me to? My face started to heat up.

"Anything" he breathed against my hand.

I gulped down my fears and waited hesitantly. "Kiss me" I whispered.

He looked at me, wide eyed. He blinked a few times, his face looked....nervous? I'd never seen him like that.

Edward didn't say a word. He put one hand under my chin and started to pull my face to his. I put one finger over his lips. "I love you" I told him. He smiled and removed my hand.

"As I love you" He told me back. He put his hands on both sides of my face. He slowly brought my face to his. First, our foreheads touched, and then our noses. His breath was in my mouth and our lips hadn't even touched.

I was probably one centimeter from his lips. I leaned in to close the space when nothing touched me; absolutely nothing. _Edward? _I tried to speak but my mouth was closed shut. I tried to open my eyes but they as well stayed closed. _ No! _Pain filled me then completely shattered my heart. He was gone. My beautiful, Edward, gone. I tried to fight against the darkness that held me closed but there was nothing to hold onto. My screams were no use and neither were my thrashing. I couldn't feel anything anymore. All I saw and all I heard was darkness.

I had a strange sense of déjà vu. It had happened almost a month ago. The night I thought Edward left me; the sense of never seeing him again, being so in the dark. It seemed so little now compared to this darkness. I couldn't do anything, there was no use. I was trapped inside my own mind. The scary part was, I wasn't sure if I was alive or not. Reality didn't seem to make sense. I was lost.

I uselessly tried pushing the pool numb away from me but also felt my mind slipping away from my body. Nothing made sense, what was the point of staying. I tried to pull pictures into my mind, maybe comfort of my family but no one came up. I couldn't even picture Edward. If I could cry, I would, I'd cry waterfalls of tears to just see him one more time, to tell him that I loved him and that it was okay if he didn't return interest. It can't be over. He's gone. My mind fell deeper into darkness. He's gone. I drowned under the intense pressure. I tried to hold onto to him as much as possible but I wasn't strong enough. _No. Edward. I need you. _I tried to bring him back with all my strength but only more pressure fell on me. Nothing was left. My life was slipping from my hands. _I love you_ was my last thought and with that I was plunged into the ever lasting death I'd be waiting for

* * *

It felt as if my whole body was under a rock, I couldn't move anything. The rock pushed harder against my constant struggles of breaking free. As I tried, Noises began to fill into my mind. I still couldn't move my limbs but I tried very hard as I listened.

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

_ Dr. Jackie, please contact the front desk_

_ Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep_

Was I in the hospital? Why? What happened? I listened more to try and find my answer.

_ Patter, Patter, Patter_

_ Scribble, Scribble, Scribble_

_ Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep_

What was that beeping noise? It was very annoying. I tried to focus on different noises.

_ "Time again to get out that umbrella-"_

_ Click_

_ "In other news, Seattle has suffered three-"_

_ Click_

_ "And this book had reached millions-" _

_ Click_

_ "Take that you mother -"_

_ Click_

_ "How did we get here? I used to know you so-"_

_ Click_

"Emmett! What you _please_ settle on a channel?" An irritated voice erupted from my right. _Edward. _He's here. Relief swelled into my heart. He was here. It was such a relief to hear his voice that I may have needed to come up with a new word. I thought I'd lost him forever.

"God, I _hate_ hospital TV's! Can't they have some decent channels!? Good lord I just want to watch a football game!" Emmett exclaimed loudly, also irritated for different reasons.

"Shh! You'll wake her!" Edward shushed him. Warmth filled me. I wish I would wake up to see Edward's face. "Here's an idea. Go home. We have 10,000 channels" Edward muttered to him. _That we never watch! _I added mentally

"Touchy, touchy" Emmett snickered.

Edward sighed. "Sorry, Em"

"No harm done, Bro"

_Click_

_ "Oh look at that touchdown! Gators are now 8 to 7!" _

"YES! GO GATORS!" Emmett yelled in excitement.

"Emmett!"

_Thwack!_

"Ow!" Emmett complained "What the hell, Edward?" he growled

"Didn't I tell you to shush? You'll wake Bella. She's not recovered yet." Edward told him severely. Recovered? Recovered from what? _What_ was going on?

"Sorry" He said, faking a small scared voice.

They were both quite for several minutes. I guess I wasn't going to find out an answer. Emmett continued to watch the close packed Gator game while Edward was writing in his journal? That's all I could guess of the scribbling sounds.

_Beep..Beep..Beep..Beep..Beep..Beep_

The beeping had increased. A heart monitor maybe? For mine? I wish I could move my limbs! This was very frustrating!

_.._

"Whoa" Emmett noticed my increased heart "She having a heart attack or something?"

Edward ignored him and I felt pressure on my hand. "Bella? Sweetheart, can you hear me?"

How much did I want to answer him? I'd do more than kill to answer.

"Forget it, Edward. Carlisle said she wouldn't be up for another few hours Eh, who knows? Maybe you woke her up"

"Shut up please, Emmett" Edward growled.

"Again: Touchy, Touchy"

_Beep. Beep. Beep..Beep..Beep...Beep..._

Edward drew a deep breath. "And I thought she was finally waking up..."

_Me too!_ I thought. This was one of the rare times I wanted Edward to read my mind.

"Aw. Sleeping Bella will wake up eventually" Emmett said and it sounded like he patted Edward's shoulder hard.

"I just need to know that she's okay..." He sounded hurt. There was nothing I wanted to do more now than to wake up.

"She is. Look, she's breathing" Emmett snickered.

"Emmett"

"Shutting up" Emmett choked out a laugh.

"Thank you"

They didn't speak again, so I started counting Edward's breaths; they were nice, calm and even. He wrote things down in his notebook. He sounded like he was a couple inches to my right. I wondered what he was writing. I always wondered that, even when I went into his room when I was a child, I'd ask and he would say nothing I needed to worry about. If I could, I'd sigh.

One-thousand, two- hundred, and forty-four breaths later, a pair of rhythmic feet entered the room.

"How is she?" Alice's chirpy voice sang. It felt so good to hear my sister's voice again. I missed her.

"You would know" Edward murmured, distracted by his journal I guess.

"Yes, Yes, I would" I heard her footsteps approach the left side of my bed. She was silent for a moment "She looks healthier"

"She does" Edward agreed wholeheartedly. He hesitated for a moment. "Do you know when she'll...?"

"Yes..." Alice said.

After a moment, Edward sighed in relief.

How much time?! How _long _would I be stuck like this?! C'mon Alice! There has to be a chance she knows I could be listening!

Alice winced after a second.

"What did you see?" Edward asked anxiously

"She's going to be angry at me" Alice said and her silvery laugh filled my ear. _Yes I am mad at you, Alice!_ "Haha!" she continued to laugh at her vision of me probably trying to strangle her.

"I'd better stop Bella before she hurts herself" Edward chuckled at Alice's future seeing talent.

I growled inside my mind and felt my finger twitch with annoyance.

"Bella?" Alice and Edward said together in symphony. Hope filled me. I tried to control all my other body parts but failed miserably

"It's almost time..." Alice trailed off in anticipation. "Ah, Bella is struggling" Alice saw. _No wonder_ I thought sarcastically. "Jasper" She said.

"Alice" Jasper's voice said to my left. I faintly felt my body limbs relax. Wait, what is she doing!? Did she want me like this forever?! She had some explaining to do.

"The more calm she is, the better" Alice said

"Yes, her heart was...energetic before."

Very lightly, I thought I felt a sore on my right side. A spark of memory came to me. The pain in Edward's eyes as he said he loved me...I tried to remember more but nothing came up. Something happened...I felt weak and waiting for death...it hurt to remember. As I struggled to with my memories, I faintly felt the huge block of darkness being lifted off my body. I could merely twitch my fingers and toes but at least I could do _something_.

Edward took my hand again. "Bella, honey, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can" I weakly tried to grab the pressure on my hand. I was able to but I don't think it was enough for him to notice.

"I think she can, I'm not sure" He said to someone.

More footsteps came into the room.

"We heard" Rosalie's chime voice sounded. "She looks better" Rosalie said, relieved.

"Yes, it shouldn't be long now" Carlisle's voice.

"My poor baby" Esme said.

Footsteps came over to my right. Edward growled at whoever it was. Was he protecting me? I felt warmth on my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, son. I have to check her bandages." Carlisle said, calmly. Tap was being ripped and I felt a slight pinch at my left side. I didn't flinch I heard Edward did.

Once he was done, Carlisle said "She's healing very well; Bella should be out of here in three days...Alice?"

A moment of silence, then Alice answered "Yes"

They all sighed in relief. I did mentally also. Edward squeezed my hand and then I felt I could squeeze back so I tried, it was still weak but more distinct and noticeable.

"Bella?" His voice was full of relief and excitement. "Can you hear us?" I tried to squeeze his hand harder but it was still weak.

"Yes, she can" He said to someone.

Suddenly, the whole block lifted off me and I could feel myself. I could feel _everything_. A cold hand was holding mine. I started to twitch my eyes and found out where they were.

"Bella?" Edward asked anxiously.

I groaned in anticipation and slowly blinking my eyes open. Edward's face white and cold was inches from mine. His golden eyes stared into mine with worry.

"Edward?" I choked out. Slowly, his lips curved up into my favorite smile.

His favorite crooked smile stopped my heart and I knew I was home.


	15. Chapter 15: Need

Phasing Moon Chapter 15: Need

Bella's POV

"_You can hear she's a beautiful girl  
She's a beautiful girl  
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white  
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember  
What you heard  
She likes to leave you hanging on her word"_

_KT Tunstall- Suddenly I see_

"Bella", Edward's voice full of relief as he squeezed my hand, "How are you feeling?"

"Um fine, er, what happened?" I asked Edward, struggling to remember. His beautiful face twisted into confusion.

"You don't remember?" He asked. He added his other hand to mine.

"Nothing at all," I murmured, looking down at our hands. The picture of both his hands on mine...it didn't look the way I wanted it to. He was so much more perfect. What was I? A human and there he was, a god, right in front of me. Edward was talented, good-hearted, perfectly handsome, and always made my heart stop. I can't stand next to him without being disgusted with myself. I had to face the facts, no matter how much they hurt, I was in reality and, unlike a dream, it wasn't perfect. My eyes started to water at the painful truth of myself.

I sniffed and felt the tears coming. "Bella?" His velvet voice brought my head up.

"What's wrong?" He said, and anxiously stroked my hair. I shook my head against his hand; I had to focus on my priorities first.

"What happened?"

Before Edward could speak Emmett came up from behind him, "You got your appendix taken out, sis. You want see it? It looks pretty damn awesome."

"Ew, no thank you, Emmett" I didn't exactly feel comfortable with Emmett looking at my internal organs.

"You had appendicitis, Bella" Carlisle said, holding onto Esme's shoulders. She smiled at me, relieved.

The word instantly unlocked my memories Everything flashed in front of me: Waking up with that terrible headache, everyone's hand was on my forehead, Edward's agonized face the whole time, his arms around me at lunch, running from the biology room, vomiting on the sidewalk, Edward running desperately to save me, a needle and an 'I love you'.

My breaths had become shorter and suddenly the heart monitor was beeping rapidly.

"Bella, Bella, calm down, its okay" Carlisle's hand went to my arm, restraining me. My eyes focused on my father's face.

"Sis, are you okay?" Alice said, next to Carlisle, worried.

"Yes, she is just regaining her memories" Carlisle answered for me.

"What he said..." I said to her. "Just a head rush...so much just happened..." My eyes drifted off into my memories again. Love and lust combined at the same time, making my head spin even more. I groaned and messaged my head. "Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?" Carlisle sat on my left. I noticed that no one had dared to move Edward aside from my right. How long had he been there? I felt guilty, he must have gotten bored.

"How long have I _been_ in here?" I asked. How long was I out in my realm of perfect dreams and worst nightmares?

"Just since yesterday" Edward said for Carlisle this time. He smirked.

"Oh...that's not so bad" I supposed.

They all chuckled at my nonchalant tone of it. They all sounded like an angel's chorus.

We all continued to talk and spend time with each other like a family should. Emmett kept making constant jokes of my appendix and it looking like a finger, I would usually blush. Edward said he would give me my missed school work and some lectures. I groaned and he chuckled at my misery for work. Esme held my hand and told me she would do as much as she could at home to make me feel comfortable, though I told her it was unnecessary, I didn't want her working for me, I could take care of myself. Alice kept complaining that I should go to Mike's party so she could dress me up like a Barbie doll and I furiously refused.

At some point, my stomach let out a growl. I felt my face burn up because I knew everyone heard it. "That's embarrassing..." I murmured and Emmett burst out laughing. I shot daggers at him. Edward read my face, got up, knocked Emmett on the back of the head, and sat back down, winking at me. I smiled, restraining a giggle.

"Teacher's pet..." Emmett grumbled.

"Bella" Carlisle called to me. I looked at him and his face was professional. "I can't give you any solid food or liquids yet."

"Then what am I going to eat?" I asked, a little panicked. I couldn't just starve!

"Well, first, I'm going to give you ice crystals to see if your system works with it and if it does, I'll let you have a water"

Emmett choked down a laugh. I groaned and Esme stroked my hair. "I'm sorry, sweetheart" She murmured soothingly to me.

"When can she bathe?" Emmett asked, completely making fun of me.

"Hey, hey, I ask the questions!" I snapped at him.

"Oh chill little sis, oh wait...never mind..." Emmett laughed at his joke. Anger burst through my veins and I was ready to get out of bed and slap him across the face. Esme and Edward probably saw my intentions and both grabbed one of my arms.

"No, Bella, you'll burst your stitches" Edward said anxiously.

"It's okay, honey" Esme whispered to me.

I slowly relaxed at Esme's comforting murmurs. Edward was right; I shouldn't get myself worked up because it would only cause _me_ trouble.

Carlisle ignored the little argument, "Bella, would you like them now?"

I nodded, grimacing. _Well, _I thought to myself, _at least its _something

While Carlisle went to go get me the ice, Esme kissed my cheek and let go of my hand. All the started to leave.

"Hey, where are you guys going? I mean I don't mind but I'm just curious" I smiled a little, hoping I didn't sound rude.

"Just outside, the scent of blood is making us kind of uncomfortable" Alice said to me, and smiled sheepishly at me. Each of my brothers, sisters, and mother smiled at me on their way out.

Then I noticed one of them had not disappeared and he had not disappeared since I woke up. I looked over at Edward's calm mask, his hand still in mine. I frowned, he must be comfortable. "Edward, you can go with them. I don't want you to feel obligated to be here since I'm alone. I don't want you to be uncomfortable" I bit my lip and shook my head, my face burning.

"Bella," He chuckled "I don't feel obligated, I just want to stay, is that a crime?" I felt my face crumple in pain until he smirked at me and continued "and I'm used to the scent. I'm around it all the time."

I smiled at his wanting to stay, he has been here for me these past couple of months and it just makes me love him even more, if it was possible.

"Thank you" I whispered. "Not just for staying, but for being there for me these past few months, and protecting me. Especially yesterday, thank you...for saving me" I finished my face in flames as I revealed my honesty of him.

His lips turned up in my favorite crooked smile. "You're welcome."

He was so beautiful; it would hurt if he went away from me. If he was going to go away, I would not even know who I am anymore. He had become the center of my universe over the past weeks. It would cause me physical pain being away from him. The thought of Edward not existing in the world was impossible, illogical. Tears started to dew up in my eyes, blurring my vision of Edward. If something ever happened to him, I wouldn't be able to live.

"Bella?" Edward asked anxiously and my body still thrilled at his voice with my name. I shook my head and held back my weak tears.

Carlisle came in then with a package of ice crystals. "Here, Bella, eat these slowly, alright? Just call me if you have any problems." He handed the cold bag to me.

"Thank you" I whispered, making sure my voice didn't break.

Carlisle walked out without another word. He knew I wanted privacy with Edward and I was thankful for that. I put the bag to the side, ignoring my empty stomach.

After a few minutes of silence, tears spilled over my cheeks embarrassingly. I grunted frustrated and put my wrist over my face so Edward couldn't see my agony. But still, a cold hand removed mine, and it was effortless. I sucked in a breath, closed my eyes and turned my head away from my love. I couldn't stand him to see me like this. Edward sighed, took my chin in between his thumb and index finger, and twisted my face to his. He looked into my eyes, searching for something. Tears glided off my cheek and onto his fingers.

"What's wrong?" He finally said to me, breaking the unbearable silence. I shook my head a bit but his hand held my chin thoroughly. "Bella" his voice caressed my name, "You can tell me anything, please, what is wrong?" His whole face was anxious.

I tried to find coherency in my thoughts but his gaze just held me. I bit my lip and tried to slow my heart. He wouldn't give up until he knew the truth and I honestly couldn't lie and ironically, under his gaze, I wanted to tell the truth. "I need you" I told him honestly. I changed the 'love' to 'need' saving myself from telling him. I was still telling the truth, I _did_ need him, just like I needed air, not a want, a necessity. I bit my lip even harder as I waited for the hurting words that would let me drift into darkness.

His expression changed and then flickered back to his calm mask. I think I was able to catch it...warmth? The heart monitor recorded my uneven heart beats. My face started heating up. "I'm sorry..." I closed my eyes and let more tears drift off my face.

His fingers lift my chin. I opened my eyes and he stared at me frustrated. Then he let out a breath and his expression changed to warmth. "Bella" He let out a tiny smile "Never be afraid to tell me your feelings, don't even hesitate on telling me. I'll always be fine with it." He told me sincerely.

"Really?" I breathed. He meant it. He wasn't mad that I pretty much said I wanted him. "Why? I mean I'm happy that you care but why?"

He face turned to careful. He was being cautious about what he was saying. "I'm sorry...I...haven't treated you fairly over the years. I always seemed to drift away from you for your own safety; I don't want you hurt because of what I am." His voice grew grave on the last part. "But I realized that I only keep hurting you by staying away and I'm truly very sorry for that, Bella. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry I hurt you" Edward put his head into his hands. My head spun as the situation had immediately reversed, _he_ was apologizing to _me_? How did the situation change so quickly? How was it _his_ fault that I cared for him? That was all me.

Edward still had his head in his hands. I couldn't stand to see him beating himself up over me. I reached out with one hand, and then hesitated, unsure if he would push me away. _Woman up, Bella _I told myself. I gnawed on my lip as I took one hand that didn't have the IV needle in it and touched his hair. I stroked it, feeling the texture of it, (oddly, it felt the same in my dream, maybe better) comforting him for his pain. Edward had been through so much more than I had, the fact that he was alone for so many years in his own personal hell, made my feelings look ridiculous.

While I contemplated, Edward gently took my hand, and my fears of rejection arose. My breathing hitched but he just held my hand to his face. I sighed, hoping he didn't he didn't hear the extreme relief in my voice as it was in my heart.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Edward said, breaking another term of silence.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Edward. You were doing what you thought was right and if you think you made a mistake well, it was an accident. I'm not hurt, I'm just hoping you're not" I went a little over board at the end and wanted to kick myself in the gut for it.

"That doesn't change anything, Bella. I _have_ made at mistake and I'm willing to make it right, if you'll allow me to."

"There is only one mistake you can make" I held one, shaky, finger up.

"And that is?" He asked, agonized, probably thinking of how many he could make. But, truth be told, there was only one that could make me hurt forever, the biggest he could probably make.

"Leaving," I said, trying to make him understand, I don't want him going anywhere. "I can't stand anyone...in my family...leaving...because of...me..." I said, anguished. I put in family to keep me safe but it was still true. "I don't want you to go anywhere" I pushed. My eyes squeezed shut for his reaction.

After a moment of silence, He raised his head and looked into my eyes, searching again. He slowly rose from his seat. What was he doing? The heart monitor sped up and I wanted beat that thing up for being so loud and embarrassing. My face was a bright red as he put one hand under the sheets and around my waist, holding himself there. I looked up into his eyes and he looked back.

"Where else am I going to go?" He asked, rhetorical. My heart than sprang with happiness. He wanted to stay, not because he had to, no, because he wanted to. Joy filled from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. He was going to stay. All this time, I feared he would take off and leave me to myself.

He icy, cold lips pressed against my forehead. Shocks, stronger than the others, raced through my body and my weak limbs felt alive. He lips left but he placed his forehead to mine.

"I'm here" he told me, softly.

Suddenly, I heard someone clear their throat loudly. I looked around Edward to see Emmett standing with his arms crossed. His lips were snapped shut, to keep from laughing probably. I felt blood rush to the surface of my cheeks. I looked down, way too embarrassed now.

"Seriously, this" he pointed his finger back and forth between me and Edward. "is getting weirder and weirder"

_Oh jeez, Emmett probably knows_ I thought grimly to myself.

"Is it not strange how I said the _same thing_ about you and Rose at first?" Edward said, chuckling. If my face hadn't already been hot, it was in flames now.

"Watch it, Cullen" Emmett warned with an evil smirk on his face.

Edward laughed, my ears drowned at the sound, "Back at you"

"Agh!" Emmett stomped out of the room.

I giggled. It wasn't just because of Emmett; it was because of many feelings and secrets being out. I let the lightness of it all fill me until I could burst. Even if Edward wasn't in love with me like I wanted him to, I would always love him and I could accept that.

I looked at him and he grinned, showing his pearl, white, sharp teeth. Gently, he leaned in, pressed his lips against my cheek, and laid his head against mine.

As soon as he did, I let myself drift off into a peaceful heaven with just me and him.


	16. Chapter 16: Depart

Phasing Moon Chapter 16: Depart

BPOV

"_Lovers can see to do their amorous rites  
By their own beauties; or, if love be blind,  
It best agrees with night."_

_Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, scene 2_

My large queen size mattress pressed against my back. The plush feathers making me feel like I'm on a cloud

After a few days of ice crystals, soda, walking, sleeping, and most of all, Edward, I was able to come home from the hospital. Carlisle gave me antibiotics to take twice a day, one in the morning and one at night. I haven't felt very well since I got back, which was part of the side effects. I missed some days of school but tried to stay in, so I wouldn't miss much.

I pressed the cold ice pack to my head, another headache since I came home. My side ached, not the sharp excruciating pain from a week ago, no, just an annoying pain.

All these annoying aches and pains were nothing compared to what I was about to go through. Edward was leaving, not forever, but long enough to make me go crazy. I would have been downstairs if Carlisle hadn't ordered me to go lie down for awhile. Edward was currently packing for this weekend trip. This wasn't the first time we had been separated since I fell in love with him but I could live through it, right now I'm too deep, it hurts to not be around him.

Everyone was leaving except for Alice. I usually didn't mind Alice but sometimes she went overboard with dressing me up and playing Barbie doll. I at least hope she would show some mercy since I was recovering and skip out, but knowing Alice, she was unstoppable. I groaned, thinking of the possibilities she had in mind.

Then a shrill ring burst my ear drums. I looked to my right at the caller ID on the silver phone, which said, _**Idiot, Mike**_ I sighed at Edward's immaturities. I knew it was him because he doesn't like Mike much, especially for his thoughts. To save Mike from being scared to death, I jumped for the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, wincing at the ache on my right.

"Hey Bella, its Mike" Mike said, enthusiastic as always

"Obviously, I have caller ID" I laughed.

He laughed along with me. "How have you been feeling? I heard about the surgery from Ang" He asked

"Oh, I'm fine; I just have to take antibiotics, but not big deal. I'll be back on Monday" I felt oddly comfortable talking to Mike. I hadn't seen or spoken to any of my other friends in a few days. Angela, my very good friend, had come to the hospital with flowers and notes from our classes. She stayed for an hour and then left with a 'get well'

"Awesome! Hey, do you think you'll be well enough to come to my party next Friday?" Mike asked, excited, like a real golden retriever.

Dancing, side hurting, head aching, tripping, falling...oh how would I let him down easily? "Umm...I don't know Mike..." I trailed off, wondering what the nicest way to say no was. While I thought, Alice appeared in the room.

"Hold on" I held the receiver of the phone. "What are you doing in here?"

"Aren't you supposed to be lying down?" Alice chided me.

"Aren't you supposed to not be here?" I snapped. Alice had been coming and checking in on me every five minutes and it was getting annoying.

"I'm just checking up on you," She held her palms up. "And by the way, you're going" She grinned at me, smug.

"No I'm not!" I said in a hushed tone. I felt my face flush in anger at Alice. She was going to make me go. "Are you trying to kill me?" I asked her, and I felt my angry tears coming.

"No, I'm trying to make you get out and have some fun with your friends" She smiled and crossed her arms over her chest. I felt angry tears fill my eyes but I held them back as best as I could.

"Fine, but under one condition" I held up one finger to her pixie face. She grinned and did a fast head bob. If I was going down, she was coming down with me. "You, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and...Edward are coming with me" I hesitated when adding Edward, unsure if he would be angry.

"Fine. Unlike you, I _love_ parties! We'll have fun!" Alice jumped up and down, clapping air. I felt my heart drop at the sound of a growl upstairs. Alice glowered in Edward's direction then she dismissed him with a hand. "He'll get over it..." She stared off into space and then grinned, "Yeah, he'll get over it"

I took my hand off the receiver, "Mike?"

"Yeah?" he answered, less confident.

I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, "I'll come just as long as I bring my siblings...is that okay?" I asked, hoping it was. For a moment, I feared for Mike and what Edward would do to him,

I heard Mike sigh on the other end, "Sure" he said grudgingly.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun, I mean it is _your_ party" I said as excited as possible, I felt bad for him, he sounded upset.

"It is" It sounded as if he was smiling. "Well I'll see you on Monday"

We hung up and I glared at a grinning Alice. "Yippee!!" Alice started dancing around my room. What had I just done? I have sentenced myself to death, that's what. I moaned and let my head hit the pillow. I can just see it now, me in a way too sexy dress that Alice put me, embarrassment on a stick. "We're going to have _so_ much fun!!" Alice jumped up and down, ecstatic.

Edward was at my door, his eyes a very dark gold, almost black. He had a glare on his face, before I could flinch, I realized he was glaring at Alice. Alice just stuck her tongue out at him. "You can thank me later"

Edward growled incoherently at her. I frowned and looked down, I didn't want to remember Edward leaving in such a bad mood, and it would only make me miss him even more.

I let out a shaky sigh. My eyes were still watery from my angry tears now they cooled down. I looked up at him in my blurry vision. I could see enough of Edward for his face to change to pain. He was at my side in a second. He pulled me to his chest in a cold embrace. I leaned hard against him, I missed him already. His all-too-familiar smell filled my nose and I let out a sigh of content. I clung to him, hoping never to let go of my beloved. He rubbed my back, stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head; anything to comfort me. The only thing that could keep me comforted was him.

"I'll be back before you can miss me" Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear. I held back a sob of despair.

"Too late" I mumbled into his shirt. Once he heard, he squeezed my harder to his chest. My heart longed to stay in his embrace and never let go. Sparks filled me and energy burst through my veins. It picked me up out of my depression and let me be brave for once. I took one last deep breath of his scent and he pulled out of the embrace. He put one finger under my chin and tilted it so he could press his lips against my forehead. For a millisecond, I swear I thought he was really going to kiss me, his cold lips against mine. I could just imagine how that would feel. The love, the electricity, I almost wanted to purr from it. I pushed my ridiculous fantasies aside; he didn't love me that way. Hurt started to hammer down my bravery. I sighed sadly.

Edward turned from me, his hand trailing off my skin leaving a warm path, mussed Alice's spiky hair, and left the room.

She skipped over to me, I hadn't realized she was still here; her face was blank, looking into the future. Should I ask her if Edward loved me? After a moment I wondered if I wanted to know. How much would the answer hurt me? How much would change?

While I thought of it, Alice put her arms around my shoulders, hugging me in a comforting gesture. I hugged her back awkwardly, but still feeling whole in my sister's embrace.

"He'll be fine, I promise" Alice said, squeezing my shoulders. I still dropped my head and let the tears run down my cheeks of longing.

*~Alice's POV~*

I saw them, _again_, together, _again,_ confessing love, _again_, not telling each other..._again_. All these futures constantly were being changed, delayed by silly human reactions of fear and pain. It drove me crazy not having two important people in my life together when they should be. I wasn't going to tell either that they loved each other, choices still had to be made and it was none of my business. I sighed

"Alice, you know I can hear you" Edward's voice said from upstairs.

_I don't care, be a man and go tell her_ I grumbled to my brother.

"She doesn't love me, Alice. She just needs me as a brother and that's what I'll do" Edward's voice was full of pain and sorrow.

_Good lord_ I growled in my head. I showed him futures of him and Bella together, their embraces, Bella staring lovingly at him, him staring back with the same look, them at a bay together, both of them saying 'I love you.'

Edward was silent. I went to his room within a second and he had his head in his hands. My poor brother, he deserved Bella and Bella deserved him. Why can't they see that?

"Those futures could mean something different, Alice. She could never love me the way I love her. She is my life and will always be that and if it means to be a brother then that's what I'll be." He said into his hands, shaking his head as he spoke.

_How do you know? Have you suddenly become physic? I think not. You don't see the visions the way I do, even if you read my mind. She loves you; I can tell _I tried hopelessly to convince him of this. He stayed rock solid.

I snarled at him. "Hmph, oh well. The future will show itself like it always does and I'll be right once again." I smirked at him.

"Fine, Alice. You say what you want, but she doesn't love me"

"Ugh!" I grunted and slapped him on the back of the head. He remained unmoving, just staring at the floor. "You're so absurd sometimes! Can't you _see_ what I can?! Can't you _realize _she cares for you?!" I snapped.

He looked at me and anger glinted in his midnight eyes. "Yes, I do realize that, Alice. She cares for me, but that's it, nothing else." His voice was rough and angry.

"Bah!" I threw my hands up in the air. "You're such a pain!" I crossed my arms over my chest tightly and let my bottom lip jut out, giving him a pout. Edward glared at me but sent his eyes to the floor again. I controlled my anger and took a deep breath. _I just want you both to be happy. _I couldn't stand seeing them for so many years unaware of their love at all. I saw everything in their relationship before they even knew.

"If you want me to be happy, then stay out of this, Alice." He grumbled to the floor instead of to my face.

"No" I said curtly. I wasn't going to give up until I saw them together, I'd search their future together but that's all, no discussions or talks of it.

"I can live with that" Edward whispered. "But do not dare to say anything to Bella."

I waved my hand dismissively; he would see the light eventually.

As I started to walk out, I didn't see what was in front of me, I saw flashing colorful lights, illuminating on Bella's pale skin. Her chocolate eyes were incredulous as she looked around the room, avoiding dancing bodies. I didn't get a chance to see what she was wearing. Edward stared at me with wide-eyes, either afraid or angry.

Then the phones through the house shrilled. _Mike._ Bella was going to say yes to Mike's party invitation but not on her own. I was going to influence her, I saw that coming too. Edward's eyes looked furiously at me, intending to stop my plans. He let out a menacing growl, he didn't scare me. I rolled my eyes as he started for the phone but I tackled him. I jumped on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to bring him down with me.

_Answer Bella!_

"You can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do" He said as he tried to pry my body off his back. I stayed rock solid as his hands grabbed my shoulders. He threw me to the floor but I grabbed his ankle, pining his feet to the ground. He roared and I kept his body pinned. I pulled his ankle as hard as I could and swung him silently to the ground. The phone picked up.

"Hello?" Bella said, breathless.

"No" Edward's fist slammed to the floor, almost cracking it.

"Just let her go" I whispered to him.

I listened cautiously to their conversation. Mike was inviting Bella to his party on Friday again. I saw Bella's future.

_"I'm sorry, Mike, I have to say no"_ her voice echoed through my thoughts.

"Oh no you don't" I mumbled as I let go of Edward and sprinted to Bella's room.

"I don't know, Mike..." Bella trailed off when she saw me, "Hold on," she put her hand over the receiver and gave me a tried look. "What are you doing here?" She whispered to me

"Aren't you supposed to be lying down?" I scolded at her. She _was_ supposed to be lying down; she couldn't do much physical activity.

"Aren't you supposed to not be here?" She snapped back at me.

I held my palms up, trying to calm her down. "I'm just checking up on you" I needed an excuse to be in the room or else Bella would be angry, and I wanted to have fun this weekend. Ah, the dresses, makeup, the hair, we were going to have an awesome time, so I better not get on her bad side. "And by the way, you're going" I smiled at her.

I heard her teeth clench together. She didn't want to go. "No, I'm not!" She yelled as loud as possible without Mike hearing. "Are you trying to kill me?!" She asked, scared. Bella and her dancing issues were nothing, she had nothing to worry about, and she'd be sitting down all night.

"No, I'm trying to make you get out and have some fun with your friends" I crossed my arms. She'd been so cooped up here all week; you'd think she was an actual vampire. She should have some fun, and this is exactly what she needed.

Her heart beat unsteady and jagged, and her breathing turned shallow. Her eyes began to water, her angry tears were coming. "Fine, but under one condition" she held up one pale finger. I nodded excited; I'd do anything to get her to go. Before she could speak, I saw all of us there; Jazz, Em, Rose, and Edward. Then I saw Edward dancing with Bella. Her feet on his, her face flushed with like rose petals. They smiled at each other and danced to the slow beat. "You, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and...Edward are coming with me" she hesitated with Edward, her voice dropping to a nervous tone.

I didn't wait until she was done, "Fine. Unlike you, I _love_ parties! We'll have fun!" My whole form started vibrating of excitement of the thought of going to a party and dancing and dressing Bella up and having fun and dressing Bella up and the music and dressing Bella up...Oh I just loved to imagine all of this.

"Alice" Edward growled from upstairs. He was furious with me. Bella heard his growl and looked up in his general direction, hurt. Then she looked at me. "Oh he'll get over it..." I looked off and saw Edward smiling at Bella again at the party. "Yeah, he'll get over it" I smiled widely at her.

She gave me an exasperated look and took her hand off the receiver. "Mike?"

"Yeah?" he sounded upset on the other side.

"I'll come just as long as I bring my siblings...is that okay?"

Mike sighed, unconfident. He was hoping to get a chance with Bella at the party but he guessed not. "Sure"

I saw Bella looked concern. "Don't worry, it'll be fun, I mean it is _your_ party" her attempt at excitement was a tad sad.

"It is. See you on Monday" Mike sounded happier as they both hung up the phone. It looked like we were going to a party.

I couldn't help myself as I squealed "Yippee!!" I jumped up and down, clapping my hands. I couldn't wait for this! Me and Bella would have so much fun; picking an outfit, doing makeup, putting the outfit on, doing our hair, strutting that outfit. "We're going to have _so_ much fun!!"

Edward was in the door in an instant, glaring daggers at me. I just stuck my tongue at him. "You can thank me later" Bella's party future shot into my mind: her face in the mirror, smiling and blushing.

"Why can't you keep out of my business?" He growled so only I could understand.

Bella looked at my brother with loss and despair in her eyes. They were still watery from her angry tears. _Comfort her_ I told him. I saw his eyes roll at me, and I just grinned. Edward embraced her and she clung to him for dear life. I let my grin shrink to a smile, my sister needed him, I could tell. The way Bella has been around him was more proof her future was coming true. She couldn't just let him go. Edward did everything he could to console her. He slowly massaged her back and stroked her long brown hair. Bella's hands stayed on his chest, leaning closer every now and then. He would press his lips against her scalp and she would intake a shaky breath. Strange energy surrounded me when I was by them; it was full of anticipation, just making me want to get them together. If only they could understand.

"I'll be back before you can miss me" Edward murmured into her ear.

"Too late" she sniffled against him. My heart broke for Bella. It wasn't hard to imagine that I was in Bella's position, it was difficult for Jazz and I to be separated. We were no normal couple, but that didn't mean I didn't love him more than any other vampire should love another. I saw myself wrap my arms around Jazz as he went to go hunting, feeling his energy spread throughout me, bringing me comfort in my time of need. I took a deep breath and stumbled from the future.

Edward released Bella, only to hold her chin. He kissed her softly on the lips. I let out a short gasp only to realize that I was seeing the future. Edward lifted Bella's chin down and kissed her forehead. Ugh. _Chicken_, I taunted him. Bella sighed sadly and let her eyes drop. Edward trailed his fingers off Bella's skin, rolled his eyes at me and shook my hair, then left the room.

Bella's breathing become short and faint. Her hands balled into fists on her lap. I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and she hugged me back. She whimpered after my brother.

"He'll be fine, I promise" I squeezed her. Her sadness drifted to me and I felt as if I would cry. The missing despair of Jasper, loss filled through me, I needed to go see Jazz. Like Bella, I couldn't stay away from my love. Jasper was everything to me, I couldn't live without him, just like Edward couldn't live without Bella.

My sister's shoulders began to shake as she dropped her head and I saw her cheeks glisten with water. I gently rubbed her shoulders, comfortingly, consoling her in her loss. Her hands went to her face. If there was anything to bring my sister out of this pain then I'd do it. Bella was always such a positive person, always had her head up straight, ready to face life, it was hard to see that she needed someone so much.

"I wish I could see Jazz..." I trailed off, and Bella looked up at me, her eyes red and swollen. I bit my lip, wishing I hadn't said anything, Bella needed me and I was being selfish.

"It's okay" Her voice was rough, "Go ahead, go see him, I'll just lie down." Bella said, unhurt. She waved a hand for me to go see him.

"Thank you, Bella" My heart jumped in happiness. I pecked her on the cheek and raced out of the room.

I raced to Jasper who was waiting in our room, his back to me. His feelings filled me and clamed my happiness. I exhaled a relieving breath and walked over to my love. As I walked, I felt my feelings change to despair and sorrow. Poor Jasper, he didn't want to leave without me. I walked up to his tall form and twined our fingers together. He looked down at me with concern. He hated being separated. His sad energy raced to my heart and I stared at the dark eyes of the person who meant everything to me, and missed him. I took our hands and put them against my heart. "You have to go" I whispered.

"I can stay" Jasper said, though I knew he was thirsty, he's been edgy all week.

"Jazz, I'll be fine, I promise. Do you think I'd do anything to hurt you?" I asked him, bring my eyebrows up.

He took a deep breath. "Well...no...I guess not but it worries me not to have you with me" his eyes trailed off in pain. He'd been through so much, love was still so new to both of us, and he couldn't just let me go for a weekend.

"I know, but I'll be fine, I promise" I vowed already seeing him in my arms once again. He nodded slowly, each time dropping his head made my heart hurt, and call out to him.

"I love you" I told him sincerely looking straight into his black eyes.

"I love you, too" he didn't hesitate, as he returned his declaration.

I wrapped my arms around his waist; pressing myself and feeling calmness run through me. Love filled me and I knew we'd be together once again.

* * *

Alice left me in my room to go say goodbye. I didn't lie down and sleep like I should; I stayed still on my mattress, bring my knees to my chest. My whole world wasn't with me, I already felt like a distant planet, wondering with my sun through space. I sighed in pain. My side responded to my breath outtake and my side ached. I grunted, annoyed.

I looked over at my book of _Romeo and Juliet. _How could Juliet handle this? Having her love leave her when he was banished? She must be filled with so much anguishing, never knowing when or if he was ever coming back. But she did. Though, she only found him dead by her side. I flinched. If anything were to happen while Edward was gone, I couldn't help but have a death feeling inside me.

I wondered if he left yet. Hope filled me. Maybe I could see him again; just to be in his arms, one more time, to whisper I loved him, his icy lips pressed against mine...I shook my head out of my fantasies of him and I. But maybe I could see him again and that was good enough for me.

I jumped from my bed, ignoring the huge ache at my side and ran down the stairs, nearly stumbling down the stairs multiple times. I slid my hand down the railing loudly and my heart started skipping a beat thinking of him.

"Edward?" I said loudly when I made it to the empty front room. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, had they left? I slid my hands to my arms.

"Bella" Edward's voice came from behind me, making me jump. I twisted around to see him looking down at me, smirking.

"I...I just wanted to say goodbye one more time..." I stuttered and smiled sheepishly. My heart thumped wildly behind my chest.

He chuckled at me. "Really? You miss me that much?" I listened to his chuckle, so beautiful I almost lost my balance.

"Yeah, I guess so..." I looked down, my cheeks burning, sadness forgotten. I looked up at his face, and his dark eyes burned into mine. I felt I could see into his soul, his good, beautiful soul. My hand twitched at my side, I wanted to touch his cheek, to make sure this creature that I loved so much was real but I kept balled my hands into fists.

"Well...I'll see you on Monday" Edward kept his hands in his pockets, and shifted awkwardly. I bit my lip looking at his stunning face. He looked down at me concentration. I automatically felt self-conscious when he did that, it made me feel like a freak.

He groaned, frustrated. "Honestly, could you tell me what you're thinking?" His voice was impatient.

I blushed. I didn't want to him to know how much I would miss him so I told him the less embarrassing truth. "You're making me feel like a freak, staring at me like that" I let out a nervous giggle. He laughed at me. I strained to keep a smile, but loss stilled filled me.

"There's something else" He stated. He could see I was hiding my pain. I didn't want him to see that I was suffering; it would show even more of how much I love him. "Bella" his voice had a hint of impatience.

I sucked in a breath, and looked at his black eyes. "I don't want you to go" I said in a broken whisper, instantly wanting to kick myself for giving in so easily.

He stared at me with his eyes brow furrowed. "Bella, it's not safe for you to be near me right now" He told me quietly.

"I know I just...miss you..._a lot_" I looked down so I couldn't see his reaction. My teeth met my lip.

After a long moment of silence, he said, "I wish I didn't have to go either but do not worry about me, only worry about you." Edward ordered of me. I couldn't stop myself of worrying about Edward but I could try and not hurt myself for him.

I nodded. I felt my tears coming again. Pain came across Edward's face and he pulled me to his chest once more for the night. He sent millions of little kisses to the top of my head; tiny circuits ran through my veins, but not filling me with bravery like it did before. If I was brave, I could deal with Edward leaving and not being a baby about it. I held onto his shirt where his heart; I wanted to keep it with me. He made me feel whole, there was nothing more in my life I wanted more than him. His delicious scent went up my nose and began to relax my body. _Don't leave me_. I whimpered into him, and he squeezed me lightly.

"Son," Carlisle's voice came from behind me.

"Yes?" Edward's chin rested on the top of my scalp.

"Time to go" Carlisle told us both.

I drew a ragged breath as he slid his arms to mine.

"I'll be down in a minute" Edward murmured, looking into my eyes with reassurance.

"Alright. Be safe, Bella" Carlisle said from behind me.

I nodded my head at him and then turned back to Edward. Carlisle walked out and his footsteps faded outside. I gently closed my eyes, trying to calm myself again. Edward pulled me to him and my heart jumped as he place his lips against my cheek. Fire burned where his lips touched my cheek, wishing so badly it was my lips.

"I'll see you soon, alright?" Edward tipped my chin up and I opened my eyes to see his staring at mine. He was happier. I nodded lightly, a tear trailing down my cheek, as long as he was happy. He smiled crookedly at me, wiped the tear away, and left to go for the weekend.

I took a deep breath and smiled in his direction. As long as he was happy.


	17. Chapter 17: Seperated

Phasing Moon Chapter 17: Separated

BPOV

She's trying to kill me. She's trying to kill me. Good lord help me.

Alice put one last curler in my hair to finish my practice 'party look'. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had officially become very embarrassing. I closed my eyes tight.

"Now, we're going to leave the curlers in there!" Alice said. I could just imagine her smiling. "Then you'll have curls for a while! You're welcome!" I opened my eyes and Alice was grinning while jumping up and down. I put my hands over my face and groaned in humility.

"When will these ridiculous things come out?" I pointed my hand in the general direction of the curls. What if Edward came home and forgot something? He's laugh at me and I'd never show my face to him again.

"Just a few hours" Alice shook a can of hairspray and starting spraying the chemicals into my hair. A few sprinkles came onto my face, making it dry where it was. I blew them off and Alice scolded at me. At least vampires didn't forget anything or else I'd be screwed.

I sighed and looked out the window of the rainy Forks only to notice now that the leaves had changed from a protective green to a orange and red like color. They were lighter and happier colors, giving the year some warning for retiring. Birds swooped over the house, chirping through the trees in a southern direction. The wind blew and bright colors filled the air and gave it a warm look. I wished the sun was out, this picture would look complete.

Memories immersed from my long child hood mind. My child form would hide under leaves and Emmett would kick all the leaves away, swinging me up into his arms and both of us laughing. Alice would put me in warm designer clothes and even as a child I would roll my eyes. After I would be done rousing around, Edward would play a homey piece, and I would stand on my tip toes and watch him play. He would softly muss my hair.

I smiled at the lost memories. Alice smiled at me in the mirror, still doing the finishing touches.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She asked, nodding her head to the outside. I grinned without showing teeth and nodded. "You're no allowed to go out there" She said and patted my shoulder.

I wasn't allowed to be in fresh air or else the curls would come out wrong. I just wanted to take my _Romeo and Juliet_ book, sit, and relax. I sighed. I imagined reading my book, reading to the part where Romeo is banished, Juliet's pain and loss of her love. A tear would fall down my cheek and a cold finger would catch it, I'd look up to see Edward's stunning face, inches from mine, and reflecting diamonds onto me. I'd reach to touch his cheek and make sure he was real, feeling the smooth satin beneath my fingers and letting little sparks run through my hand.

Soon I found myself day dreaming all afternoon of possibilities with Edward, a few involved his lips against mine. I would sigh contently and continue cooking, reading, homework, or whatever I was doing at the thought of it. For once in my life, time seemed to drift away from me, I was barely aware of what I was doing. I would glide while walking, as if I was on a cloud of the constant dreams that were filling my mind of me and my beloved. I ignored the fact that he could not love me, all I focused on was him.

I told Alice I was going to clean the house today, she said she was going to but I told her I wanted to. She shrugged and allowed me to do so but be careful of my curls.

I glided around –clumsily- just thinking of Edward. I dusted the windows, stair-railings, and TV screens. I cleaned up my dishes, watching the soap bubbles play with the air in circular motions. I mopped the floor, making it sparkle and slid on it just to make sure. I snuck some of my laundry to the washer and drier, I liked my clothes, I didn't want to keep giving them up, Alice never seemed to let me wear anything twice but it was only until a few years ago that I put my foot down and demanded she left my clothes alone.

All the while, Alice danced around, decorating the house and perfecting it. She put beautiful glass vases around the room, settling them into convenient spots, such a atop of the stair case railings and on the mini bar from the kitchen. She rearranged Esme's garlands, making them as pretty as ever.

"I'll be out for a few minutes, Bella! I'm going to get some flowers for the vases!" Alice called upstairs as I was vacuuming.

"Okay!" I shouted back, and then I forgot it was unnecessary, she could hear me even if I whispered.

"Any find of flower you want?" She yelled, laughing at my mistake

"Nope, surprise me" I said in conversational tone.

"That's better, okay; I'll be back in about an hour!" She shouted and then left.

I continued to tidy up Alice and Jasper's room, then Carlisle's and Esme's, Carlisle's office, feeling content with doing normal house work. I straightened the curtains and swept the dust from the rooms. I walked normally, winding down from my constant dreams of Edward and me.

I slid across the polished hardwood hallway to _his_ room. I had to make sure I didn't snoop; I was already invading his privacy by cleaning up.

My hand met the gold handle of the door and twisted in open. The outside scenery reflected well with his gold carpet. His room was a clean mess, he knew where everything was but he could clean up more. I took all his classic books and stacked them in a neat pile, putting them on his shelves. Below his shelf, I noticed my books; the ones I hadn't read since I was a child. _Prince and the Pauper_, _Ella Enchanted, Cinderella_ I ran my finger across the titles, amazed that they are still here. Below all my books, was Edward's elegant hand.

Bella's Books

My finger trailed across the expensive white paper, with his handwriting in it. He still had that there, never took it down.

My mind raced back to a Christmas years ago, when I just turned thirteen.

* * *

I took a deep breath, my heart thumped unevenly as I had opened all the presents. Alice gave me a new pair of shoes -which I'll probably never wear-, Esme gave me a new necklace with my birthstone on it, Carlisle gave me a cookbook since I just starting cooking for myself, Emmett had given me a new, fast, computer, Jasper had given me a new pillow, unbelievably comfortable, and Rosalie gave me a pair of beautiful earrings. Wait, I was missing one. I looked up to my adopted brother, Edward, to see he had a small silver present in his hand. He smiled gently at me. I walked over to him and he handed me the semi-heavy gift.

"You really need a new book to read, and I think you may enjoy this" he smiled at me, it stopped my heart, and I weakly smiled back.

I shifted uncomfortable; it felt odd for Edward to give me gifts. I looked down at the tag

To: Bella, From: Edward

My heath thumped slowly and stuttered as I slowly un-wrapped the silver wrapping paper and it was the back of a book. It said.

"_It is Shakespeare's most famous love story ever told, R-"_

That was all I could read of it but I unwrapped the rest to find a young girl in a night gown on the front, looking out of a balcony, her long brown hair blowing in the wind. Faded in the corner, was a handsome young man with wavy brown hair and brown eyes looking through the book with love in his eyes. On the very top of the book it said,

Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare.

I put my hand over my mouth; it was exactly what I had wanted. The story of this always made me so curious about it and Edward knew it exactly. I looked up at him and he smiled at me, I grinned back.

"Thank you" I said, my voice full of gratitude. "I'm going to start right away" I smiled and flipped the book open, looking at the pages.

"Good" He said and mussed my hair lightly.

* * *

"Bella! I'm home!" Alice yelled up the stairs. I gasped out of my memories, realizing my hand was still on the books.

"Okay" I said, stunned my memory of that very night.

"Are you okay?" Alice called, worried.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, just cleaning Edward's room" I said, distracted my the books on my shelf.

"Okay, come down when you're done!" She called.

I didn't answer as I took my hand down. It was so surprising how Edward kept a lot of my childhood memories, as of they were a treasure to him. I felt my cheeks warm as well as my heart, even if my assumption was wrong, it didn't stop me from being grateful to Edward.

I continued to clean up his room in a warm daze. I picked up his books and CDs, putting them in a neat stack on his desk, dusting his windows, vacuuming the gold carpet. As I did the finishing touches on the room, I noticed plain, black notebooks; his journals. I'd always been so curious of Edward's past but he never let me look. I slowly picked up one of the notebooks and before I could even look at a page, it was out of my hands. Alice.

"Ugh!" I groaned, throwing my empty hands in the air.

"Bella, what do you think you're doing?" Alice's voice was behind me, angry.

"Uh, just cleaning?" I made my statement of fact a questionable lie. I bit my lips and looked down at her fuming form.

"You're not allowed to look in his journals" Alice ordered and took the notebooks.

"Oh, c'mon Alice!" I made my hands drop, making an audible slap on my thighs.

"No. Edward has told you that you're not allowed to see them and that's final." I clenched my teeth so hard they hurt. Alice left the room for a millisecond and was back, the notebooks gone. I glared at her, crossing my arms over my chest. She raised her eyebrows at me. "Don't give me that look. You're lucky I won't think that when he comes back home"

I looked away from my sister's furious eyes, out the window. "I don't get what the big deal is. I'm just curious" I said, my voice monotone, controlling anger.

"It's _his_ privacy, Bella. You should know better." Alice scolded at me.

I felt my chagrin burn my face. Anger rose in me, and I clawed my hands into fist. Who does she think she is? The boss of me? Right. I knew I could tell right from wrong and she's acting like the boss of me? My nails clawed into my palms. "I know." I felt furious tears fill my eyes, making my vision of the outside orange blurry.

"Then why?" Alice asked, calmer.

I only got angrier as I processed her question. _That_ was definitely none of her business so I just walked past her white body and up to my room. She didn't bother coming after me, which was a good idea, I loved Alice and didn't want to get into a fight with her.

I got up to my room and resisted childishly slamming the door. I turned on whatever was in my music player and it was a calm jazz CD Edward had given to me. I took a deep breath, not wanting to take his CD out. Slowly, I began taking out the curlers, not caring if they were done. I rolled several out, my scalp raging in protest.

That's all that was happening within the next hour; painfully taking out the stupid curlers Alice put me in.

Anger eventually started to fade. My next thought was that I would feel numbness like I usually did when I was done feeling angry but it was different this time. I felt hollowness in my chest and an aching, longing pain. I dropped one of the curlers I was taking out and clutched where my heart should be. The angry tears that now drained down my cheeks were sad tears, tears of loss. I missed Edward. Without him, there was nothing, nothing that could keep me whole, and nothing that could keep me happy. I needed him and I had told him that. He took my heart with him. That was why my chest felt hollow. I let the tears silently fall down my cheeks as I took the rest of the annoying curlers out. Alice didn't come in to check on me, which I was grateful for, I didn't need to be in a fight. There was only one person I wanted to be with right now and he was gone for the moment.

I finished taking the things out and threw them into my garbage so I could lay my head down on the soft pillow. As tears of agony washed my face, I let my soul drift into a peaceful, less stressful, darkness.

* * *

Edward's POV

Bella. That was the only thing that could take over my entire mind and focus. I sat out on an oddly shaped rock and looked in the direction of Forks. What if something was happening to her? I couldn't stand it. My thirst was satisfied, I didn't feel like hunting my love was at home, waiting for me.

Emmett finished off fighting a huge grizzly. He loved playing with his food but I found it very childish and impolite.

"Dude, come on! Have some fun! Let go for once!" He crossed his hands over his ripped shirt.

"I don't belong here." I gazed off into Forks' direction again.

_You two are so weird._ Emmett thought going through his memories of me and Bella; our embraces, our safe-kisses, our closeness. I resisted sighing at each and every memory. New images of futures came into my mind; Bella, safe and warm in my arms, her heart beating against my chest, taking her hair softly in my hands, stroking her oh so fragile cheekbones, kissing her hair, her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips...then she dies. I winced away from the gut-wrenching image. I would not go so far if it meant hurting Bella.

Emmett snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Bro? Hey, wakey, wakey...oh wait vampires don't sleep. Is there something you're keeping from me?" Emmett raised his eyebrow but then a smirk formed on his face.

"Of course not, Emmett" I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm going home" Then Emmett had a strong arm on my shoulder.

"Oh no you don't, I'm not letting you skip out for a human even if she is our sister" he said, annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. "Em, I'm full and have no need to be here so I might as well go home." I ducked from under his arm then stopped. "and its not for a human, its for Bella" I said and ran through of woods, back to Forks. Bella just wasn't any human, no, she was _Bella; _A soft, warm, fragile girl who was good and beautiful.

***

Night had fallen when I got back to my dimly-lit home. I listened hard and could hear a faint, low heartbeat, and slow breathing. Bella was asleep? It was only the early hours of nighttime. I raised an eyebrow and stepped into the house.

"Alice, I'm home" I said in a conversation tone

My tiny sister came down the stairs, her eyes forlorn, and head down as she sulked to my side. She just thought about taking each step and walking down the stairs, hiding her problem from me. I wasn't about to go to Bella without an explanation from Alice. She stopped in front of me and sighed.

"Bella's mad at me" Alice said, focusing on each word she said.

"Why?" I asked, trying to break through her wall of a mind.

_Argument _Alice just said.

"Obviously" I told her; frustrated that she was hiding a problem they hid from me.

_Forget it, Edward. I'm not spilling the beans _She thought rudely to me.

"Agh!" I threw my hands up in the air of frustration. Then Alice's memory slipped. Bella's angry face, her eyes watering, her pale arms crossed over her small chest. Hurt filled me. I glared at Alice. "What did you do?" I demanded. Then Alice gave up and revealed her whole memory to me: Their whole fight because Bella had tried to read my journals while cleaning up. My teeth clenched together. How many times have I told Bella? I knew she would take any chance she would get to it but why would she want to read about my hundred years of pain and misery? Then I focused more on her memory: Alice scolding her, Bella ignoring her and looking out the window.

_"Then why?"_ Alice pressed of Bella, asking why she had even thought of it. Bella ignored her and left the room.

"She didn't want to speak of it; she couldn't take anymore of the fight Alice. Bella doesn't like to fight with her family." I told her. It was impossible for me to be angry with Bella. I was only filled with love and sympathy for her.

"Sorry, Edward, I thought I was doing the right thing." Alice murmured. I heard regret and pain in her voice

"Its okay, Alice, you didn't realize. It's just...impossible for me to be angry with Bella." I echoed my thoughts.

"Thanks" She looked up and smiled a little.

I returned the smile and mussed her hair.

Then I heard little thuds down the stairs. _Bella. _Impatience filled me. I wanted to see her, have her in my arms.

"Alice, I'm really sorry about before..." Bella said sleepily as she came down the stairs to the foyer. She had her regular sweats on and a holey t-shirt with holes, her hair messy and sticking faintly in different directions, and her eyes half closed.

"Its fine, Bella" Alice said, crystal clear.

Bella made it down the stairs, still not noticing I was in front of her. My whole body was vibrating in anticipation. She put her fists over her eyes and rubbed them open. Her beautiful brown eyes finally focused on me. They became full of surprise and then changed to relieved. My heart warmed that she might want me here. "Edward?" She asked, fully awake.

"Yes, Bella?" I caressed her name with love.

"You're home!" She said, every part of her became happy; her eyes, her smile, her heart. She didn't hesitate as bounded to me throwing her small arms around my neck. Surprise hit me along with her. She wanted me here.

_"I need you" _Her voice from the hospital echoed in my mind.

Yes, it's obvious she needed me. I would be here for her. I slid my arms around her small fragile shoulders, carefully.

_I'll give you two some privacy, but just don't come on it when Emmett comes home. _Alice thought to me, mentally smiling at me.

I smiled into Bella's head, breathing in her burning, delicious scent. I carefully pressed my lips against her warm, soft scalp. Sparks burst through me, giving me the relief of Bella's presence. The need just got stronger for her. Without Bella, nothing ever made sense. I needed her, she needed me.

"Yes, I'm here" I whispered to her. Her heart thumped fast and her breathing became quick.

"Good" She said into my ear.

I finally could relax; she was here, in my arms, safe and hopefully happy. I let myself hold onto my only love forever, hoping to make this moment endless as my eternal night.


	18. Chapter 18: Date

Phasing Moon Chapter 18: Date

BPOV

I kept my eyes snapped shut as Alice curled my hair, brushed my face with make up, and slid on my dress. I didn't want to see myself because of my embarrassment issues.

I had tried to nap; I had been so tired all week from doing so much work on Sunday. I should have been in bed but I couldn't stand it anymore, just to stare at the same walls or read the same books. I wasn't supposed to be up and moving much, I skipped two days of school this week already to get my energy back and now I was going to Mike's party was a black-tie event and he said he invited almost every junior there. I could just feel my stitches bursting for all the moving around. My side ached already, I couldn't even _imagine_ being on a dance floor.

Alice hummed and danced around my sleepy form. Alice and I had gone to Port Angeles for my dress but I didn't have much say. She picked out this light blue party dress, with frills and lots of them. It didn't zip up my back; the smooth silk was tied around my neck, surprisingly giving my cleavage, only making me turn redder.

To make matters worse, Emmett had been making fun of me the whole week, more than usual. All of the Cullens were going in couples: Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett. Well of course there was Edward and that was the reason for Emmett's teasing. He mocked that Edward would be my 'date.' Weirdly enough, I liked that title on him; Edward being _mine_ for the night, and he didn't seem to mind as he agreed to be my partner for the night.

"Ugh! Bella! Would you stop blushing for two seconds so I can put on the right amount of foundation?!" Alice chided at me. I bit my lip; I didn't realize I was doing it again. I've felt as if I'd been blushing all week from the single-word thoughts of: Edward, Date, Mine, Party, Friday, Love.

"Sorry, Alice" I giggled, embarrassed. I could just imagine my sister rolling her eyes at me.

"It's okay, I'm almost done anyway" She said as she pinned things to my hair.

I couldn't help it when I sighed in relief and muttered "Finally" The need to escape this torture had kept growing every hour since we got home from school. Alice's professional fingers moved back to my face, powdering it again, a faint brush swept across my eyelids.

"Need any help ladies?" Rosalie's beautiful voice chimed from the door.

"Sure, just put this in her hair. We're almost done" Alice said, sad at the end. I only got happier to be out. But I felt shocked, Rosalie hadn't talked to me for awhile since Edward and I started becoming closer, I never asked her what was wrong, feeling intimidated by her. I didn't want to start something with my wonderful sister; she cared so much for me over the years. I owed her.

Rose slid a sharp metal against my scalp, slightly stinging it. I winced.

"Sorry, Bella" Rosalie murmured, adjusting the metal.

"Its fine" I said, nervous Rose had even talked to me.

Alice slid lipstick across my lips and asked me to spread the material. I pursed my lips and let them out, making a pop sound Rose and Alice giggled at me. I laughed nervously, trying very hard not to blush. Alice again adjusted the tool on my head and then patted it.

"Alright, done!" She sang, clapping her hands. "Open your eyes, Bella"

I slowly and hesitantly slid my lids open to this brown-haired beauty staring back at me. I carefully inhaled a shaky breath. Her hair was in perfect elegant curls that ran down her back with a jeweled crown at the top of her head. Her eyelids were pale lavender, highlighting her chocolate brown eyes. Her cheeks looked as if they had rose petals beneath them complimenting her light red lipstick, making it look natural. The necklace Rose had given me hung to her chest, hugging her neck along with Esme's earrings hanging delicately from her lobs. This person in front of me was ready for a party, but the person inside her body wasn't. I couldn't say that was me in the mirror, it didn't look like my usual self.

"I- I don't know what to say..." I trailed off, watching her lips move as she spoke. It looked like the way I usually moved my mouth...

"I do! You _love_ it!" Alice said, clapping her hands again. Her regular spiky hair was now straight and in lovely little black curls, hugging her cheeks along with the black short dress she had picked out today.

"Well yes, sh- I mean I'm very pretty, Alice" I almost slipped by saying 'she.'

I continued to study the stranger in the mirror. Rosalie softly put her hands on my shoulders. Rosalie was much more beautiful than the girl in the mirror, she had a gorgeous red dress on, the neckline reaching nearly to her waist along with her hair curled up to the crown of her head. It stunned me.

Meanwhile, she had warmth in her eyes as she rubbed my shoulders. "She _is _you, Bella" She looked at me through the mirror, smiling.

My lips started to curve up into a smile and then I automatically recognized myself. The uneven way my lips curved up into my usual smile proved it was me. Alice smiled too at me.

"Thanks" I smiled and looked down shyly.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice's head snap up and down to the general direction of the downstairs foyer.

"It's time" She chimed.

My heart burst into sprint. My first though was Edward; him, dressed in a black tux. It made me want to faint. As I started to stand up, my legs began to wobble. Alice and Rose caught my arms.

"Is she going to make it?" Rose asked, anxious.

"She better" Alice growled at me. "We're not even out the door yet"

"I'm fine....just a little jet-legged." I told her. "I've been sitting in a bathroom all day" I smiled weakly at them.

I found strength in my legs again and slowly stood up on my...I looked down, high heels. Alice! How am I even going to make it down the stairs?! "Ugh" I growled at my feet.

"I'll help her, Alice, you can head downstairs" Rose said, taking both my arms.

"Okay, just be carful, who knows what could happen" Alice murmured as she danced down the stairs.

Once she was gone, Rose silently started helping me walk down the stairs. "Thanks, Rose" I whispered.

"Anytime, Bella" She whispered back, happier.

We worked together going to down each flight of stairs; my feet going on a step, then Rose settling my weight on it. By the time I got to the last flight I told her I could handle it. I looked down, not at my audience and certainly not the angel waiting for me. I heard Emmett chuckling in the corner, probably about ready to burst into hysterics if my foot even slips. I took each step deliberately, and carefully. Rosalie stepped at my side at human pace, ready to catch me if I fell. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme hold out her hand at the bottom of the steps. I clutched my mother's hand for dear life as I finished the last step. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I lifted my head to my siblings.

Alice had one hand on Jasper's black chest, and Rosalie glided over to Emmett, resting her head on his shoulder. Esme smiled warmly at me and returned to Carlisle, him placing his arm around her shoulder.

My eyes finally rested on my love. He stood tall and smiling. He was even better than I imagined him in a tux. The black matched well with his skin, making him look stunning. In his hand was a plastic case, a beautiful pink carnation resting in it, meant for my wrist. His golden eyes burned into mine, making my heart stop once again. I felt my legs become jello. _Oh no you don't! You are not embarrassing yourself! _My mind shouted at me. I shifted my weight, making my legs be strong weather they wanted to or not.

He knew I wasn't going to move since it had already been thirty seconds without anyone saying anything. Edward walked over to me, his perfect lips curving in my favorite crooked smile. My cheeks burned with admiration.

"Ready?" His velvet voice asked of me

I just nodded and smiled. I looked into his liquid gold eyes; they were full of warmth and admiration. I was almost convinced he loved me back but then brought myself back to Earth, he couldn't love me for what I was: a human. My smile fell a little along with my eyes. He loved me, not the way I wanted, but still he did.

"Bella" Carlisle's voice immersed from beside me. I looked up at my happy father. His eyes were however professional as he handed me a sparkling white clutch. I took it, feeling the ridges of the dust on my hands, and opened the clap. It had my pills in it, along with bandages, aspirin, pain ointment and other medical accessories. "If anything goes wrong, tell your siblings and come to the hospital. Be careful, you still can't move around much." His eye brows furrowed in concern

"Don't worry, Carlisle. I can't dance as it is so I'll be fine. I promise I'll come to you if anything goes wrong" I promised and reassured him.

"Okay, well have fun" He said and kissed my forehead.

"I'll try" I laughed. He smiled and gestured to Edward.

I turned eagerly back to Edward; he smiled gently at me, opened the plastic box, took my left wrist gently and slid the pink flower onto it. I smiled widely at the beautiful carnation. Like an old-fashioned gentlemen, Edward offered his arm. I blushed and took it as we strode over to the car. I whole time, I was resisting from hugging his arm, and resting my head on his cold shoulder.

Edward opened the silver car door open for me and I carefully slid in, hoping not to trip over my heels. All the others squeezed into the back, Jasper sat Alice on his lap while Emmett kept one arm around Rose and she half sat on him. I giggled at the appearance of the back seat.

The dark greenery passed by in a blur, Edward liked to drive fast but it never felt as if he was, and it was just as if the car was gliding at five miles per hour.

My stomach began twisting in uncomfortable knots, as my mind raced through the night with Edward. What if I did something wrong? What if he would never speak to me? What if I would declare love when really I was meaning to compliment his suit? What if I tripped? What if we slow danced and I stepped on his foot? (I know it wouldn't hurt but it's still rude) So many nightmares ran through my mind, so many that could end my and Edward's complex relationship. The thought of Edward not being part of me was illogical, impossible. If he wasn't part of my life then you might as well rip my heart out, it belongs to him now, no matter how much he doesn't want it.

"Oh good lord!" Alice exclaimed in the back

"What?" I asked looking at her annoyed expression.

She ignored me "Why is he so annoying? This kid is ruining all my plans!" She crossed her arms over her chest. I looked at Jasper while raised his eyebrows and shrugged. My eyes shifted over to find a glaring Edward, shooting daggers out the window while low growls rumbled in his chest.

My instincts told me to be afraid and wince, but I didn't listen, all I wanted to do was moan in admiration of the noise. I sighed, trying to disguise it as tired but came out way too softly, way too warm. Edward turned his head in my direction and groaned in frustration. He wanted to know what I was thinking but it terrified me to tell him this time.

We arrived at Mike's big two story house. Music thumped hard, balloons hung everywhere, and cars parked all the way down to the end of the street. Sweat dewed up on my forehead and my heart thumped unevenly at the thought of what could happen tonight.

Everyone got out and before I could shift my weight, Edward was opening my door. He offered his arm again and I took it graciously. Silently, I wished I could hang onto him all night.

"Ready?" He whispered to me.

I looked at his golden eyes with nervousness. "Nope, I guess I'll have to deal with it" my lips curved up into a week smile. He chuckled, making my legs feel like jello again. He slid his arm to my shoulder, tucking me to his side. _Don't let go._ As we walked in, I almost tripped several times if it weren't for Edward. Emmett finally let out a booming laugh.

"Bella, are you going to break a leg before we even make it into the house?" He laughed.

"Give it a rest, Emmett" I growled at him.

We entered and the music banged into my ears, generating a small headache. _Perfect_, I thought grimly. Bodies swayed to the beat of the song, lots of people had a red plastic cups. I had a feeling Mike's parents weren't home.

"Bella!" I heard Jessica call. I looked over and she danced over to me, holding a red cup herself. "Hey! What do you think?" She gestured down her dress. It was a blue and black ensemble with a mini skirt reaching to the top of her thigh and a neckline that showed some serious cleavage, making mine look like I have a turtle neck on.

"Good" I smiled and held thumbs up.

She laughed and looked at Edward, getting a flirty look in her eye. Fury flared inside me, why did she have to look at him that way? I knew I was jealous, and I couldn't help it.

"Hello, Jessica" Edward said politely, loud and clear. My teeth clenched together at his courtesy to her. Jess was my friend but I didn't want her getting near Edward like that, it only made me more envious and angry.

"Hey" Her voice dropped to sound seductive. Surely she was drunk. Her thoughts must be worse than what I can hear from her mouth.

I had instinctively leaned into Edward, giving her a warning that he was _mine_, without even realizing it.

Before anything could start, I heard a familiar voice. "Bella!" Mike came out of the crowd, no cup surprisingly. He was wearing a black t-shirt and tie, making his formal look causal. His eyes weren't on my face when he reached us; he was appraising my slightly revealing dress.

"Hey, you look great" Mike yelled over the music, still not looking at my face. My cheeks started to warm, making me feel self-conscious. Jess swiftly turned her head to Mike in disbelief. Ah, it seemed Jessica didn't like her Mike talking to me that way. I smiled smugly. "Do you want to dance?" I watched Jessica's eyes pop out in disbelief. Mike totally ignored Edward and I felt him stiffen against me.

"I can't" Mike looked at me, confused. I used the only excuse that could keep me near Edward and pointed to my side.

"Oh" I saw him mouth. Just as his smile fell, it turned back up again and I felt a faint vibrating in Edward's chest. "Well, I'll save you a slow dance. That shouldn't hurt" He grinned and winked at me. Before I could gently decline, Mike went back into the crowd. Jess glared at me and went after him.

"I loathe that kid" Edward growled so only I could hear.

"Behave" I commanded of him. I glared at him and he glared back. _He's only trying to protect you, nothing else. _I told myself.

He just smiled and led us through the party. We said 'hi' to my friends that were there, including Angela, who was hiding shyly in the corner.

I felt bad for her, no one was with her. I asked her if she wanted to hang out with me but she kindly declined and said she was okay where she was. Edward's eyes tightened at the whole conversation, it must have been something Angela thought. As I waved to her, Edward steered us into the crowd. I looked at him questioningly, he knew I couldn't be dancing, but all he did was lead us through the crowd, as if he was looking for something. Bodies brushed passed us and light glared into my eyes. I laid my head Edward's shoulder, hiding my eyes. He continued to stare us aimlessly without myself even looking.

After about ten minutes, I was about to ask him where were going until I heard Edward's musical voice. "Hello, Ben" I automatically looked up to the short Ben Chanley wearing a blue tux, looking forlorn. Only more confusion took place in my mind. Ben looked a little taken back by Edward's politeness because Edward never really talked to him.

"Hey Edward, Hi Bella" He greeted us, trying to return the right amount of courtesy. I waved with one hand and smiled slightly. His eyes looked over my dress but not showing the same perverted gaze Mike gave it, it only seemed to make him sadder. I frowned, poor Ben.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, feeling kind of stupid, of course he wasn't okay.

"Not really," he sighed. "I guess I just have to deal with it"

I frowned deeper; Ben was always such a happy guy, I wonder what pulled down his high spirits.

Edward tightened his arm around my shoulders, encouraging my participation in whatever his plan was. "You know, Ben, Angela over there looks a little alone, I'd bet she would appreciate some company"

He looked over at my shy friend; his eyes lighting up a little then dimming down. "I don't know...she wouldn't like a guy like me..."

That was a complete and utter lie. Angela sometimes never stopped talking about Ben whenever he came up but she said she was too shy to ask him out. In my opinion, they belonged together.

"You never know until you try, Ben. Who knows?" I smiled and shrugged at him, silently forcing him to go over to her.

"You" He told me. I was shocked by his answer but he knows I'm friends with Angela and she tells me things but I wasn't about to say things that were none of my business

"Yes. Now go talk to her, you may be surprised by her answer" I smiled softly at Ben. He smiled back, not touching his eyes. Edward remained silent as I continued out his unspoken plan. Ben pursed his lips, slowly turned and walked hesitantly in Angela's direction.

I looked up Edward, he smiled down at me. "Thank you" He whispered in my ear.

"Sure but why? I mean I'm glad you did it but...why?" I asked, unsure of how to phrase it.

He shrugged. "I felt as if I owed Angela. Her thoughts are always so quite and kind." Edward was so selfless; he did all of this just to repay Angela for her own thoughts. I looked over and saw Ben talking to Angela. She laughed and smiled at him.

"Angela deserves Ben" I murmured. Only Edward could hear me.

"Yes" he agreed.

We watched as they got up as a slow song started, and put their arms around each other. I wanted to sigh in envy; I wish Edward could do that to me, to have him in my arms forever.

"Come on" I whispered to Edward and I led him to a table. I couldn't dance and I didn't want people around me to get hurt because of that fact. He gently settled me into a chair and took the one opposite side of me. I took a deep breath and looked away from my dream. As long as I could be with Edward, I would take it. "I'm sorry, I'm probably boring you." I said, smiling half heartedly.

"Bella, you never bore me." Edward said and smiled. "You do the opposite. You make me interested" I felt fire inside my cheeks. I was _interesting _to him. My lips curved up into a huge, embarrassing grin and he chuckled at me.

The party continued with that routine. When a regular song would come on, Edward and I would walk around and talk to friends, avoiding the too-drunk people because Edward got uncomfortable when I was near them. Angela and Ben stayed in each others arms and Edward and I would smile at each other in triumph. When a slow dance would come on, I'd drag Edward to the nearest table and we'd talk. I could talk to Edward all night if I could; if I didn't have to sleep I would spend every night with him. He didn't persist in slow dancing, he understood my problems with it and if I didn't want to, I didn't have to.

That dream didn't last long. Once another slow song started up, Edward held me tight at his side, not allowing me to pull him with me. His warm gold eyes looked deep into mine, making me lose track of my thoughts.

"Just one?" He asked holding up one white finger. _He_ wanted to _dance_ with _me?_ Were the only thoughts that came into my mind, other than that my brain was mush. I blinked.

"Uh" was all that came out of my mouth as single word thoughts filled my mind: Edward. Dance. Slow. Embrace. Sparks. Love. "I – I can't dance" I tripped over my idiotic statement. _Duh_ I thought to myself.

"You can't but _I _can" He grinned at me.

My heart sputtered hyperactively and my side ached in anticipation as well as my whole entire body. Edward gently took my waist, lifted it, my breath coming out in a nervous huff, and placed me on his face. He took my hand in his and I clutched his bicep for dear life. I looked down at our feet and let all the blood in my body race to my face.

"I. Feel. Like. I'm. Five" I said each word slowly and distinctively to make him understand that it was kind of embarrassing.

"Hmm" He looked over me, "You don't seem five", and he grinned at me, not giving in so easily. I sighed, exasperated. I caught site of Alice, in Jasper's secure arms, and smiled widely at me. I returned it sheepishly.

Edward swayed us perfectly to the beat of the song. Electricity filled the air and my body, only making me want him even more. The acoustic guitar filled my ears. Its same rhythm for a few verses made my mind eventually recover from its incoherency and I let my ears drown in the beautiful sound of it. Then the voice of the singer saturated the air with very pure poetry.

_Will you think of me...in time? _

That word held me. _Time. _It had changed from so many definitions to me. Time was the only thing I wanted to stop, so I could stay in this moment forever, never having to face the fear in my mind of Edward's feelings of me. Time was always changing, and oddly enough, I could compare it to me. It's as if I was the moon. I was always changing, yet still coming back to myself. I was a phasing moon: always and forever changing.

_I had a dream that you were with me_ He sang through the song. I could easily compare that to myself also. I would always dream of Edward and I being together.

_ You rolled me over,  
Flipped me over,  
Like a somersault.  
And that doesn't happen to me_

I closed my eyes and let my mind be filled with dreams: Edward and I dancing, our skins matching color, both our eyes a beautiful gold. He'd press his lips against my without hesitation. Maybe if I was a vampire, I'd be good enough to deserve such a god like creature.

"You're the only one who could make me do this" I whispered into him. My hands squeezed his arm and hand. He laughed quietly into my hair. Electricity flowed through the air, making me unconsciously pressed myself closer to Edward, saturating myself in it. His amazingly delicious scent flowed down my throat, and my mouth had more water in it than usual. Even though his chest was covered in black fabric, I could still feel how hard and cold it was, but I didn't care, it meant I was where I belonged. My heart pressed against his, harder. _Harder_.

We both were squeezing each other until I realized I couldn't breath, I choked out a quite breath, and Edward loosened his incredible grip me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't realize I was going too hard" He stroked my hair. I gasped for air and shook my head, it was amazing.

"No..." I gasped quietly, making sure people didn't hear. "It was great." Edward loosened on me more. "No." I wasn't ready to let him go. "I'm fine" I still had my eyes closed. Edward's chest raised and he let out a sigh. His cold hand rubbed my back and I shivered in desire. The lyrics welcomed themselves into my head once again. The song edging to its end

_I saw forever in my never, _

_ And I stood outside her  
Heaven_

I helped Edward sway us back on the beat of our song. That word –_heaven_- took over my mind. Everyone around us didn't matter. My stress in life didn't matter. His feelings didn't matter. All that mattered was that we were together. In our own perfect little heaven. I let everything out of my mind, like a plugged drain, and just let myself live blissfully in this moment with the one I would always love.

_I stood outside her heaven  
Let me in your heaven..._

I wanna live inside your heaven.

I felt my eyes water. All I wanted was for Edward to love me. I would never feel anyone the way I feel for him. I wanted to be _his_. Tears silently glided down my cheeks. I buried my head in his chest as far as I could go. He wasn't leaving me if I had anything to say of it.

"Don't leave me" I whispered to him. I blurted out the truth and hadn't even realized it. My heart started to skip a beat. What had I done? There was a push inside of me. A part of my heart had said to tell him the truth; tell him you love him, he loves you. I beat down that absurd feeling and let more tears fall down my cheeks.

His cold finger lifted my chin up and my eyes opened to a blurry Edward. I bit my lip hard, cursing at myself so hard. He took a deep breath and then his cool breath kissed my face. My heart calmed at the beautiful scent. Very gently, hardly touching my face, he caught tears from my eyes. "We need to talk" He said gently to me.

My breathing sped up as he released me except for one hand, leading us out to his car. I caught site of Alice and her face was empty, looking to the future where my heart will be shattered. Hollowness filled my chest as if my heart was already broken and soundless tears danced off my face as Edward helped my silently into the front seat.

Before I knew it, we were speeding off into my fate, a never ending darkness.


	19. Chapter 19: Secrets Unraveled

Phasing Moon Chapter 19: Unraveling secrets

BPOV

Edward drove us through the darkness of the sleeping Forks. My hands fisted in front of me and more tears ran down my face. I tried to be as silent as possible; Edward doesn't deserve to hear my pathetic weeps of my sorrow heart. All I heard from him was sharp intake of breath, obviously annoyed with me.

"Bella-"

"Just say it and get it over with, Edward" I choked through my sobs. He might as well just rip my heart out right now. I sniffled as quietly as possible but still so loud inside the silent car.

He took another deep breath. "Let me just start from the beginning."

I looked wide-eyed at him. I wasn't expecting this.

Edward kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. "I've always been afraid to tell you this, it may frighten you" Tears glided down my cheeks as my eyebrows furrowed. What had he meant? There was nothing about Edward that could ever frighten me. "You know how our family has told you of how vampires thirst for human blood?" I nodded slowly. "Well...when I met you...your blood was...different" his voice became strained.

"I...don't understand" I said, my voice raw.

"Of course you don't" he sighed. "Long ago when I first met you, I never realized how hard it was...to be near...you" Edward choked at the end and tightened his hands on the steering wheel. "Your scent...it was the most...delicious...I'd ever smelled...you made other human blood look so bland" he sped up at the end, and then he couldn't stop. "I ran away, fast. Alice saw you dead...in my arms. I ran as fast as I possibly could, out of state. I ran to protect you. The instinct to go back and take your life was almost irresistible-" I winced but he continued his fast monologue. "I stayed over the night at a little place, thinking of what I would do. I didn't know I could be near you without hurting you myself. The thought of _you_ dead because of me was impossible, I wasn't going to kill you, or at least I didn't want to. Alice found me later and convinced me to come back, you were going to be part of the family, I was beyond furious with her. I didn't want you in my family if it meant I had to deal with your scent. She fought with me then, defending you, making me come with her. We made it back to the house and I met you formally for the first time. I was so afraid of hurting you, but I kneeled down, you stared at me and unbelievable smiled. You were precious to me then, you're precious to me now. You don't realize how fragile you are, I could mean to touch your face and then crush your jaw my hand" He winced while I stared at him, wide-eyed. I was causing him pain...

"Does it...hurt for you to be with me...now?" I asked slowly

"It's not as hard as it used to be" Edward picked out his words carefully. We remained quite in the car. I had been causing Edward so much pain, and I hadn't even realized it. Each embrace, each kiss, was hurting him. My heart fell into pieces for my love.

"Edward" My voice was thick with agony, "I'm so sorry..." New tears formed, not for my pain, but for _his_. Each and every time he would see me, he'd feel like he would be burning alive.

His head shot in my direction. "_You're _sorry? For _what_?" his voice was furious.

"For hurting you..." I said, confused.

"Bella" he shook his head in frustration. "Honestly, what are you thinking?" Then my thoughts were just a wave of confusion inside my head. He didn't turn me down? He didn't say he'd rather die than love me? He didn't even accuse me of loving him? What was going on? He was acting like himself, a little agitated, but still same old Edward.

"..I'm just confused...I mean I don't understand to why you're so...angry...with me..." I trailed off. Why would he be angry with me for concerning his pain?

"I'm not angry with _you_" I looked at him incredulously. Sometimes, he never made sense. What was he angry for? I stared at him with a faint fury growing inside. He saw my look and smirked. "How could I _ever_ be angry with you? It's Impossible. I'm not angry Bella, I'm _frustrated._ I don't know how your mind works. It's still so foreign to me, to not know what you're thinking" He stared at me with his deep gold eyes.

I looked at him and lost my thoughts once again tonight. Then I realized he wasn't looking at the road. "Keep your eyes on the road!" I yelled with shakiness in my voice.

He chuckled, leaving me in the dust of his outrageous mood swings again. "As if I would let _anything_ happen to you, Bella" My heart skipped a beat. He didn't want anything to happen to me. He was silent for a few minutes. I felt the mood in the air dropped to a forlorn state. "But it doesn't execute the fact that _I _could hurt you. I'm anything but safe for you, Bella. I'm not _good_ for you, Bella." His voice was a dead monotone.

My heart dropped inside my chest, and then I couldn't find it. My hand automatically found my torso. Pain washed away all the happy feelings I once had for such a short second. Then I couldn't stop the new tears of anguish from washing my face. I shook my head slowly, mechanically, not understanding what he is saying.

"You're...wrong" I said, fighting my uncontrollable cries. My fist rubbed hard into my eyes, fighting the constant pain that filled me and spilled over my cheeks. "I don't care if you're dangerous...it doesn't matter to me." Every single syllable that came from my mouth was nothing but the purest truth from my heart, as pure as water, as pure as light, as pure as the tears in my eyes.

The car then accelerated, so much my back was pressed against the leather seat so hard I couldn't move. Edward began growling and sped us East, away from my rainy hometown. He didn't say another word after my statement. He can't do anything to make me not love him, even fury only made him more beautiful.

My mind wandered into Shakespeare's world of _Romeo and Juliet_. I wondered if Juliet would ever have to worry about Romeo's feelings for her. Throughout the play, there was no doubt of their undeniable love and devotion for each other but what if it wasn't so easy for them? What if they couldn't just say their feelings for each other? What if Romeo wanted Juliet to be safe and not tell her he loves her for their families' sake? What would Juliet do then? She wouldn't give up, I know that well enough. If she couldn't convince Romeo that it was okay, what would she do? I knew the answer: it could never happen in my fantasy world of _Romeo and Juliet._ Juliet didn't have to deal with problems of her love such as safety or not even being sure. It seemed like my favorite play couldn't help me now.

Within twenty minutes, we were in Port Angeles. Why were we in Port Angeles? I looked over my furious Romeo. He kept his eyes on the streets until he came near a dark area of the road. He screeched the car to a stop at the curb, making my heart jump into my throat.

All I could hear were his angry growls but there was something else, a hint of another emotion. His face started breaking into a mask of agonizing fury. Realization hit me that he was growling and crying at the same time. My love...was hurting... His tears replaced mine and oozed down my face. I couldn't hold back now as I let out a loud whimper. I put my hands against my face, letting the pain take over my system, all I could see what darkness of my empty chest. The electricity around Edward and I that usually immersed was now out, I felt nothing but the rising agony within me.

Edward's growls began to cut off as I continue to weep miserably. After a few minutes, his icy hand found of mine from my face. I tried my hardest to keep him from taking it but he did and held it in both of his. After a moment, my hand was free and he was opening my door. I looked up from my teary hands. His face was just as agonized as mine.

"Bella" he said as I hiccupped my tears. "I need to show you something" He held out his hand and I ignored it and wrapped my arms around his neck. I could care less if he'd try to pull me away, all I needed for comfort was him. I sniffled in his scent and it immediately started calming me down. His careful hands took my arms and untangled me as hurt filled my empty chest. He looked at me in the eyes; his usual gold warm eyes were now empty, endless pits. More tears for him filled my eyes. His head leaned into my face and my breathing sped up. He ever so lightly pressed his lips against where my tears were. The red in my cheeks would cool when his glass lips would touch it. He laid his forehead against mine; all I could feel from him was pain and anguish. I would do anything to wipe that look off his face. "Come" he told me, his voice full of dread.

He slid an arm around my waist and held me protectively to his side. I let my head drift onto his chest as he walked us into the city lights of Port Angeles. A few strangers who passed by would stare at my face and try not to grimace. I wondered what my face looked like. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and only then I saw black on them. _Ugh, really, Alice?_

Edward walked us down the streets quietly until we came to a stop at the end of the road. He took my hand and put it against his cheek, one of my greatest desires was granted. His face was smooth as satin over glass on my finger tips and cold faint sparks rose from his cheek.

He closed his eyes as he spoke. "I can't be warm..." and put his other hand on top of mine on his cheek. The veins in my hand froze. "I can't be soft..." He pressed his hand against mine, it was hard as stone. Then he took my head and laid it against his quite heart. "I can't be..." he released my hair. "...human..." his voice had a hint of anguish in it. I looked up and he looked down at me with grave eyes.

He slid his arm around my waist again and led us down the street once again. We stopped in front of an Italian restaurant, "La Bella Italia" and looked through the window.  
He led his white finger touch the glass and showed an old couple sitting together, looking at each other lovingly. "I can't grow old with you, Bella." He whispered in my ear. His cold hand moved across the scene to a couple. A young man and woman, the woman cradling her basketball belly. The man put his hand atop of hers and lightly kissed her lips. "I can't have a family with you" his cold breath wept against my neck, making me shiver. The guy caressed the girl's cheek carelessly, she smiled in warmth. He squeezed her cheekbones for a second then let go as she giggled. "I ...can't touch you like that..."

Edward let go of my waist, and looped off to the street. He wasn't running away from me. Fury soon took over my empty pain as I followed him, tripping a few times. "Now you listen to me, Edward Cullen" I called to him and he stopped so I could catch up to him. He turned his anguished face to me, left over light from the restaurant rested on half his face. His golden eyes glinted a strange glow from the light. "It doesn't matter to me." I didn't let him walk away from me, so I kept speaking. "I'm willing to give up all of that for you. I don't need that if I have you." I just practically declared love to him and he strode toward me, his hand lightly stroked my cheek, small sparks evaporating from his fingertips.

"So is that what you dream about? You want to be with a monster?" His eyes searched mine. "It _should _matter to you; you _should _worry about your safety"

I shook my head against his palm. "It doesn't matter. I'm not afraid of you." I told him, looking at him passionately in the eyes.

"You _should _be. A _normal _human being should be." He told me, frustrated.

"I'm not normal, I was raised by vampires" I told him raising my eyebrows. He should know I'm beyond normal.

"Bella, I could hurt you" He whispered brokenly to me, hopelessly trying to convince me to not love him.

"No...You only fear that but in truth, you can't. It would hurt you too much for me to be hurt" I told him what I've seen. His face when I had my appendicitis, when he thought I was going to be gone. He only _fears_ of hurting me, but he couldn't. "..and you're not a monster. You're the exact opposite." I told him, carefully putting my shaky hand on his cheek.

He looked me, his eyes changing to a calmer mask. "You're willing to risk your life to be with me?" he asked me softly

"Yes" I said right away. "There's nothing more I want." I told him; unbelievably close to saying I loved him. I already said I wanted him for god sakes! But I had to make sure he was happy, and I still had my doubts. "I understand if you don't want me"

Fury glowed in his golden eyes. "How could you _possibly _think _that_?"

Have my ears been cut off? Or am I just hearing things? "W-what?" I asked of him.

He sighed; His hand moved to my hair and pulled me into his chest. "Isabella Marie Swan, that's the most absurd thing you've said _yet_. How could you assume my feelings for you?"

"What are you talking about, Edward? I don't understand" I shook my head and looked up at him.

He rolled his eyes down at me. "How _hard_ is it for you to see how much you mean to me? Honestly, how _hard?_ How could you not see how important you are to me? How much it would hurt me to see you hurt?" He asked of me. "Really, Bella, what are you thinking?"

Both his hands caught my face and held it to his.

"Bella" He shook his head gently against mine. "How could such an absurd beautiful creature like you not see how I feel?" my cheeks burst into flames. My heart stuttered in anticipation. "Isabella," His musical voice caressed my name like feathers. "You are the most important thing to me in this world. I cannot live in a world where you don't exist, it's not possible.

Did Edward just declare himself to me? Something warmed inside my chest and thumped heavily. My heart had found its way back to me. My legs felt like butter and I clutched to him for support. My breathing turned into short breaths of incredibility. Tears of love fell from my cheeks. He loved me. That was all my thoughts were. Edward loved me.

"I can't either...you mean everything to me. I'd rather die...than stay away from you." And it was true, if I couldn't be with Edward than you might as well just kill me. I don't need my life without him.

And so he chuckled. "How ironic isn't it? The lion fell in love with the lamb" He smiled down at me.

I smirked through my tears. "What a stupid lamb"

He laughed, catching my tears as they fell. "What a sick, masochistic lion"

We smiled at each other. The dark and grave look from his eyes had been replaced with love and happiness. I felt my face reflect his.

"Let's go home" He said, He pulled my to his hard chest and his cold breath washed over my hair. _Home_: I liked the idea of that. Then Edward winced.

I looked up at him, confused. "What?" he had a insultingly beautiful smirk painted on his face.

"Yes, we should get you home" He grinned as he dramatically pinched his nose with his index and thumb finger.

I laughed and slapped his chest. Ouch. It was like hitting a rock. "Ow"

Edward anxiously took my hand and examined it, while I rolled my eyes at him. He put my hand against his icy lips. Shocks overtook my hand as he held it to his face. He was so much more comfortable with touching me. But was I more comfortable with touching him. I slowly took his unused hand and held it to my face and it sent sparks through my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and I laid my face in his palm. He let go of my hand only to put his other against my face. His breath caressed my face as he kissed my forehead... the bridge and tip of my nose...flashbacks of my dream flashed behind my eyelids...his breath tingled on my lips. It was almost impossible to resist pressing my lips against his but I held completely still. His lips moved to my chin, then down my jaw. I let out a shaky breath of lost anticipation.

He quickly released me but keeping his hand in mine.

"Too much?" I asked him, hiding my hurt feelings

"I just needed a moment. It's a lot to take in" he grinned at me showing his sharp teeth.

He pulled us silently to the car. His mood swings always left me dazed, so many tonight than there had been in my seventeen years of life. How was it possible for Edward to love me? Why was I so interesting? He helped me into the car and was opening his door after he closed mine.

Then, before I knew it, we were speeding off into a bright fate.

I sat back in the leather seat, dazed. This is not what I was expecting: Edward to love me back. Maybe I was dreaming. Yeah, that's it, I'm dreaming. It was ironic how I expect Edward to be a dream but he's so real at the same time. Was he? As I contemplated this, Edward reached over and twined our hands together. Shocks I couldn't possibly make up burst through my body. I sucked in a sharp breath. Yes, he was definitely real.

More silence filled the car except for the purr of the engine. I let out a soft breath and let myself drown in content. Edward's hand squeezed mine and he groaned. "_Honestly_ Bella, what are you thinking? It's driving me mad" He moaned.

I blushed, loving the way he said my name. "I'm trying to believe this is real. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that you couldlove _me_" I blurted out the truth without even realizing it. I looked away, biting my lip.

To my surprise, he chuckled. "I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact _you _could love _me_" He said, chuckling again and I looked over to see him shaking his head in disbelief.

"_How?_" I demanded of him. "What_ part_ of me could possibly hold your interest?" Now _I _was frustrated.

He let his eyes roll to me, his eyebrows rising. "Really, Bella? You realize you don't see yourself clearly, correct?" he laughed again

"That makes two of us" I muttered to him.

I saw him smile at the road. His hand slid up my arm, leaving a warm tingly trail in its path, and to my shoulder, resting it on my cheek. "I could make a whole list of how you hold interest to me and it _still_ wouldn't be enough for me to explain." A flame was drawn upon his hand where it rested.

"So could I" my hand moved to his and pressed it to my cheek. I drew a deep breathing, gorging myself in his wonderful smell.

"Let's face it Bella, neither of us are going to win this argument" he smirked at me.

My heart burst in my chest. "True" I breathed. His hand slid back to my, twisting our fingers together once again.

We began voyaging through the forest, dark vines snaking through the night. In minutes we were arriving at our big white home. We pulled into the dark garage and I became blind. The engine turned off, Edward's hand left mine, only to be opening my door in seconds, and helping me out again. I felt through the darkness and wrapped my arms around him. The door slammed and he put both his arms on me as well and walked us into the house.

The lights flipped on and I realized no one was home. It was just me and him...alone. Nervousness knocked on the door in my chest and I let out a shaky breath. _It's just Edward _My noble side said to me. _Yeah but he just declared love to me, I think I should be a _little _nervous _I thought back.

His deep eyes looked down at mine, and I looked back, my thoughts melting along with my brain. He was too beautiful. His lips found my jaw and he again kissed his way up to the corner of my lip, I couldn't stand it that he couldn't kiss me like that.

"Hold still" I murmured as I slowly started to move my mouth to his. His sweet breath was in my mouth and let out air I'd been holding in. This was it, my wish was being fulfilled. My top lip reached his until Edward was suddenly out of my arms.

"Edward?" I let out anxiously, what happened?

"I'm sorry, Bella" His voice was on the other side of the room. My heart filled with pain and rejection. I blinked back my tears.

"Where are you?" I asked, trying to make my voice as clear as possible.

He showed himself, embarrassed and anxious. Edward stood by his piano, about thirty feet from me. I very carefully started to make my way back to him. A few seconds after I started walking, he beat me and hugged me tight.

"I'm so sorry, Bella" He whispered in my ear. "I don't know if...I'm ready...I could hurt you see easily..." his voice was saturated with agony. I looked up at him and his face was in pain. "I wish I could give you what you want...this was one of the things I was talking ab-" I put two fingers to his lips and shook my head.

"You're not ready, I understand, Edward." I concealed my hurt growing inside, I could wait for him.

He closed his eyes, took my hand and held it to his cheek. Edward always had to take the blame on himself. "Listen to me" I told him and he opened his miserable eyes. "I'm taking it too fast, it's my fault. This was really for myself, I wish I could just be convinced you love me and it's a selfish act and I'm sorry" I apologized to him

He shook his head under my hand. "Silly, Silly girl" He murmured. Then he opened his eyes fully and laid his forehead to mine. His eyes burned with sincerity into mine and I began to be lost in them. "Bella, I love you. There is nothing in the world that could ever change that statement. You are my life, and will always be that. Nothing has to be proven. " I felt my whole body become faint. He said he loved me and in so many words.

"Really?" I whispered, feeling like a child.

"Of course, my only wish is to be yours" I felt my vision become blurry. He wanted to _belong _to _me_

"You belong to me, just as long as I belong to you" I asked of him.

"Sounds like a deal" He smiled and kissed my cheek. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pushed myself against him, emphasizing my need for him to be mine. He pressed me against him, almost until I couldn't breathe. Then, just like at the party, he released me and apologized anxiously.

"Don't apologize...this is still so new to both of us I can see" I told him, he probably has never felt anything like this in a hundred years. Just like I have a in my mere seventeen but I don't think any other human being could feel the way I feel. My feelings felt surreal, inhuman. My love for Edward was so strong; the idea of not being near him was incredibly painful. I need Edward like air, not a need but necessity.

"But I'm hurting you" He said painfully.

"Ugh" I rolled my eyes at him. "You're not. Try again"

His eyebrows furrowed as he raised one white hand towards me, fingers closed. I mirrored him, letting mine slide in front of me. A faint smirk played on his perfect lips. Little tings of sparks filled the air and my breathing became quick in anticipation. I slowly glided my hand to his, and stopped about an inch away. I looked at him as his face became confident. He placed his hand on mine, his icy touch making my heart race, and twined them together. We smiled at each other.

"I'm such a coward" He grinned and laughed.

"Nah, you're just a worried vampire" I smiled widely until my cheeks hurt.

Edward smiled, his eyes glowing. I've never seen him so happy before and the fact that I was the one making him that way, made me feel giddy.

His smile faded as he lifted his other hand and stroked my hair. Edward's eyes stayed connected to mine and made me lose my train of thought. All I could focus on is his hand on me. I felt my breathing become shorter and quicker. My heart felt as if it was about to bust out of my chest. The electricity ran through us again and it only made me want to kiss him even more.

"Can I be human for a minute?" I asked. Honestly, I didn't feel like a human anymore. At least with Edward, I didn't, I felt...different in a good way. I needed to feel normal. It helped me get a reality check.

"Of course" he said, and let go of my hair. I smiled at him and went up to my room. I clutched the cold railing, its touch reminding me of Edward. Ridiculous fantasies entered my mind and I was in a dream-like state when I entered my room. I took off my heels, letting relief fall upon my blistered feet.

"Ahh" I moaned as I massaged my feet.

I decided I needed a shower, it would relax me. I took out a pair of pajamas and padded down the hall, meanwhile I heard noises from the kitchen? I looked in its direction. Was Edward cooking? Oh boy, I better put out the fire when he starts it. Vampires don't know how to cook, except for Esme, she cooks very well.

I made it to my big glass bathroom. Eventually, I started taking the tight, uncomfortable pins out of my hair and fluffed it out then I looked in the mirror. I compared this Bella to the one this morning. This one in the mirror was not happy, but ecstatic. Her eyes brown eyes were bright and excited aside from the smudged mascara. Her full lips curved up into a huge smile, her cheeks were flushed of happy roses. Her hair was in a neat mess.

I started stripping off the dress, hearing a faint rip. Oops. I thought about for a moment and then shrugged. Alice treated clothes as if they were disposable anyway. I took the dress, hearing other small rips and threw it on the bathroom counter.

I tested my hand under the water and it burned. I stepped into the shower and let the water heat out my tense muscles. Hot, little tingles sprayed my back, and I let myself saturate in the hot shower. I washed my body over with body wash, then scrubbing the hairspray out of my hair and replacing it with my favorite strawberry shampoo. While in there, all my excitement escaped from my love drunken mind and my hardened body relaxed and I placed my hand over the cold tile, I waited until the shower ran out of hot water, and then got out.

I started working quickly then. The faster I got ready, the sooner I would be with Edward. So I tripped multiple times on the bathroom floor getting ready and dressed; my arms slipped through the appropriate holes in my holey t-shirt and into my comfy sweats. I brushed my teeth and brushed through the rough snarls in my hair the best I could.

Once I took one look, eh, it was the best I could do and I skipped down the stairs to my Edward. My heart jumped at how true that was: my Edward. He was _mine_, just as I was _his_. I never thought in my life that I would find someone I would want to be with so much, and if you tore me away, I would have no more reason to stay alive. Now I have, and nothing will change that.

I entered the kitchen, ready to look for the nearest fire extinguisher. Instead, a heavenly smell wafted up my nose. The smell contained cheese, lots of it, and tomatoes.

"Edward?" I asked, out of complete stupidity.

"Bella?" He said, sounding just confused as me, teasing.

I held in a laugh and came around the corner to see my love making me dinner. He had changed. He was wearing a blue button down shirt and dark jeans, with his shoes off, socks on. His tussled bronze hair was also smoothed out. Even casual, Edward looked like a god. He turned his head and smirked at me. My heart shot through my rib cage, and I couldn't breathe. His wonderful eyes looked up and down my wet form.

"Nice" he pursed his lips, to keep from laughing.

"Har. Har" I mocked and sat down in a metal chair at the mini table. I looked over at him working and felt bad. "Edward" as I said his name, thrills ran through my body. He looked over at me, lovingly. That only made it more difficult to concentrate. "U-hh" I stuttered. "You didn't have to make dinner for me, I'm perfectly capable of it" I smiled a little only pay attention to his.

He pulled back his head snorted. "It kept me occupied, I was little bored without you" He grinned at me showing his teeth and I wanted to melt. He missed me.

I smiled back, shaking my head at him. Edward continued making my dinner and we talked. I swear I could talk to him all night and day if I could. Then without oven mitts, he took out lasagna from the oven. My hand went to my heart and about to yelp in fear before I realized he didn't need the gloves. I let out a sigh of relief. He looked back at me, anxious.

"You're giving me a heart attack acting like that" I waved my hand in front of his which was holding an incredibly hot tray.

He smiled and shook his head. "Ah, Bella" he said my name in warmth and love.

I got up then and got myself some milk, so I could at least do something. I went into the cold fridge, grabbed the big white carton and I already saw a glass waiting for me. Edward was sprinkling cheese onto the lasagna, but still smiled at me. I bit my lip, hiding my smile and poured my milk.

Edward and I had smiled so much tonight. Maybe it was because we were just so happy. At least I was. I was in love with him for god sakes and he loves me. My heart fluttered at the undeniable truth of it all.

I sat down the chair again, sipping the ice cold milk, letting it cool down my system from the hot shower. I sighed as it glided down my throat. Edward placed my dinner in front of me, smelling amazing. His lips found my head and then he was sitting across from me.

"It was my first time, so go easy on me" Edward smirked.

"Are you kidding? I was about ready to look for a fire extinguisher!" I laughed and he laughed with me.

I took a fork and dug into the pasta. I let the hot food inside my mouth and my eyes became wide. It was like tasting happiness.

Edward's eyes grew wide as well. "Bella? Is it horrible?" he asked, very anxiously

"No" I muttered, continued chewing the wonderful pasta and it dropped into my stomach. "It's the opposite. I haven't tasted heaven until now." I told him honesty. Then I grimaced. "And I finally thought I was better than you at something!" I laughed and crossed my arms.

He ignored my comment and smiled. "I'm glad you like it"

We continued talking throughout my dinner. Sometimes Edward would look into my eyes for a really long time, searching, and then ask me what I was thinking, and then I would tell him, embarrassed. At other times I would get lost in his face, it was too beautiful. It was so hard to believe it was mine. All of him was mine.

Once I was finished, I offered to wash dishes, it made everything seem real. Edward would dry and put them away and I agreed. Silently, I washed and he dried for about fifteen minutes.

Once we were done, I felt my heart plunge. I was feeling tired, but I wasn't ready to let him go for the night. He lifted my chin with his index. "What's wrong?" He asked softly

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I want to you to stay with me." It's true; I wanted him to stay with me while I slept. It has always been a subconscious want of mine. I never knew about it until I thought about it. My cheeks started to warm as I realized, I just told him. "Do you mind?" I asked, feeling rude and embarrassing.

Instead of disgust or annoyance I guessed would appear on his face, his eyes turned bright. "Of course, I was actually about to ask you if I could come with you" He grinned at me. He let his hand grab mine.

Instead of walking at human pace as I thought he would, he swooped me up into his arms and ran us upstairs. One second I was in the kitchen and the other, I was on my bed in my room on the third floor. Edward was sitting across from me. He looked around, studying my cluttered room.

"Hmm, its been a while since I've been in here" He looked around. He then saw a book and picked it up and raised an eyebrow incredulously. It was my _Wuthering Heights _book. "Really, Bella?" he asked.

"Hey, I like the book, not all of us have perfect memories." I snapped back.

"I know but how could a sweet person such as yourself like a book that's full of such ghastly characters and a hateful plot" He tossed the book around in his hands while I rolled my eyes at him. He was being ridiculous. I climbed onto his lap and snatched the book, but instead of moving off, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

Then the painful thought came to me; how much pain was my love really in when he held me. "Edward, if you're uncomfortable, you don't have to stay with me" I struggled to give him some space but he only caged me in more.

"Don't be absurd, Bella. I'm fine as long as you are" He whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes. I was always fine around him.

"That's not the point, I meant...my scent...so close...burning" I winced at the pain I imagined him in.

"I've learned to deal with the pain over the years. I began to realize that your life is so precious; I couldn't take it away from you like an evil soul taker." He winced but continued in a soft, loving voice, "It means so much to me now." He stroked my hair and pulled me closer.

"Oh, Edward," I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed myself fully to him. "That's the sweetest thing you have ever said to me. Thank you"

He kissed the top of my head and lightly squeezed my shoulders. But then his arms gently held my shoulders and made me look at him. "Bella" I looked up at him and his eyes were nervous. "I...I think I'm...ready" it took me a moment to understand what he was meaning. Then I felt my heart race and my cheeks burn with intensity. He was ready.

Edward softly placed me a foot in front of him, and I sat on knees on the mattress. Electricity burst through my veins and the air.

"You can do it" I told him, feeling like an idiot.

He took a deep breath. "The truth is, is that I want to do it, and I've wanted to but I don't know if I can keep control" His eyes stare off.

"You will" I said all too quickly. He looked at me then laughed. Then his burning eyes became strategic and focused. He leaned towards me slowly. "Hold still" He quoted me from an hour ago. I nodded, as my heart screamed in anticipation.

Edward slowly worked his way up to my face. Then a sense of déjà vu came back again when his forehead touched mine then, our noses then but when I was about to finish it, he told me "Don't move" I wanted to groan. He was really trying to kill me. His cold, sweet breath filled my mouth as he let out a shaky breath. I copied him except mine sounded more like a moan. He smirked before closed the space between us with his lips.

Now I wasn't expecting my reaction and apparently, neither was he. Once our lips touched, it was fine, we both got air, and then I pressed my lips against his again, He allowed it, then the blood beneath my skin boiled and I twisted my fingers through his hair, kissing him again. Sparks of intensity immersed from our kiss, making me want more. I got up from my knees so I could be atop of him, as I kissed him again. I wanted more. Then my lips parted so I could feel him inside my mouth but then all I felt was his intense growl and my whole form vibrated.

He grabbed my waist and then when I thought he was going to restrain me, but I was wrong as he threw us onto the bed, pressing his cold, hard lips against mine and I wrapped my arms around his head, making myself his press against him harder until he shouted "Stop!" and flew against my bed, landing on the other side of it.

I gasped for air, still feeling him on my lips. Wow. That was incredible. I twisted the sheets in my fingers, restraining my thoughts. My heart slowed but danced in love. I looked up to Edward and his head was down, looking at my mattress. I could here his breathing was low and rough. "That was too close" he murmured into my bed.

"Really?" I asked, not even thinking of what I was talking about. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrows high.

And so I started giggling. His expression was hysterical. He looked so shocked of what I just said. I put my hand to my mouth to keep my laugh from becoming louder. "Sorry" I choked out between laughs.

Edward just rolled his eyes at me. "You're _so_ human" He smirked at my hysterical laughing which only made me laugh more.

Edward calmed eventually and looked up and grinned at me as I did calm as well. He moved over to me so he was about a half a foot from me. I felt my previous blush burn back from under my flesh. "Behave" he murmured and he pressed his icy lips against mine, very lightly. I let my eyes flutter closed and my hands fist the blankets as he kissed me. His lips left mine and he grabbed both my shoulders. I gasped as he leaned his ear against my chest; listening to my heart.

"Ah" he moaned. "Your heart, it's like the most beautiful music to my ears" I smiled and lightly cradled his head in my hands. Another one of my wishes fulfilled. He kept listening to my heart slow as I caressed his hair in my hands, the most human part of him.

As I held him in my arms, I began to fear of other things. What would our family say? Would they be disappointed? We'd have to tell them in the morning I'm sure. I might as well enjoy my night with Edward as long as I have it. I buried my face in his hair hoping to never let go.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked after a long moment of my silent, uneven heartbeats.

I took a deep breath of he sweet scent, "What will our family think? About us...together?" Edward lifted his head and looked at me in the eyes. His eyebrows furrowed.

"They were expecting this. Alice was having visions of you and me together. They'll probably be surprised because it had come on so quickly but I don't think they'll reject it" He smiled and leaned his head against mine.

Surprisingly, I yawned into his head and he chuckled. "Sleep now, you need it" He lifted himself off of me and second later I was under the covers, his face inches from mine.

"Edward, you're going to be bored" I said to him.

He snorted. "Actually, I enjoy watching you sleep. Well more listen, than watch"

I gasped. Alice teased me about talking in my sleep. I couldn't imagine things I've said about Edward. "Oh boy, what have I said?" I asked

Edward smiled warmly "You just mention the family. Although, you mention me more than the others" He smiled, unashamed

"Oh shoot" I grumbled. My cheeks started to burst into flames. That's humiliating.

"Don't be ashamed. If I could sleep, I'd probably dream all about you" He smiled at me and kissed my nose. My heart skipped a beat. "Now, sleep"

"Oh fine" I yawned and groaned at the same time. I snuggled onto his stone hard chest. "Edward?" I mumbled.

"Yes?" his crystal clear voice whispered in my ear.

"You'll be here in the morning, right?" I asked, still unsure.

"Of course" he promised and it seemed like there was no way to deny it.

"m'kay" I murmured into his chest. "And one more thing?" I asked of him.

"Anything" he breathed into my hair.

My heart took off as I leaned in on one elbow and looked him deep into his gold eyes. "I love you" I whispered to him, my voice weak and afraid but still full of sincerity.

His eyes turned shocked until they burned with happiness. He quickly pecked me on the lips and smiled. "You are my life" he told me. I felt my eyes water as I settled back into his chest.

He began humming my favorite song and eventually, I drifted off into a content slumber in the arms of the one I loved.


	20. Chapter 20: Choice

Phasing Moon Chapter 20:

EPOV: Choice

Bella mumbled incoherently at my side. She was an inch away from me, twisted in her blankets, with her face, facing me. Her long, slow breaths caressed my face. I didn't dare to touch her, or else she would wake. Her hair spread out over her pillow, her fingers on her hair, tangled through it.

I've never felt more alive and human until that moment. My whole existence wanted to be with me. Bella has never meant so much to me until now. It would tear me apart to be away from her.

All I heard the whole night out of Bella was mostly my name. Sometimes, her lips would curve up into a small smile and then other times it would sound as if she would beg for me and at times I wanted to wake her, to save her from her nightmares. However after all the nightmares, her voice still caressed my name like feathers.

But that wasn't the best part of the night. Bella mumbled my name a few times, her voice forming from begging to love.

"Edward..." She murmured, her heart lightly fluttered, "I love..." she took a deep breath, "You" Bella breathed. I felt my heart swell inside of me. Even unconscious, she reminded me that she loved me. "My..." Bella yawned. "Edward...mine" She claimed silently but stubbornly. The need to say it back was so irresistible, to tell her I belonged to her forever. She had a light smile weaving through her lips.

I lightly played with her dark hair, her scent washing onto my untouched skin. The little strands fell back into her field of a head. I stared at them, watching them slip through my fingers. I took another careful handful then watched each individual strand float down, and all too soon, they were gone out of my hand. Bella's human life wasn't much time. Yes, there were many years to her but the terrifying truth was that she was going to be gone eventually, just like the locks of her chestnut hair. They were so thin, so short. Pain filled my quiet heart. I breathed in her scent, not for the enjoyment, but for the burning. If Bella was going to die, then so was I.

Bella stirred next to me, groaning. I looked out the window, and it was still early, still dark outside.

"Ed...ward..." she breathed so softly, it would almost be incoherent to a human. I was not sure if she was asleep. "Edward..." she whispered. I still wasn't sure weather or not she was still asleep. Then her breathing and heart rate started to climb up to normal pace; her hands fisting and un-fisting the sheets. I used to see that when she would nap, I didn't know that she still did it. Then her small warm hand searched. "Mmm..." she hummed, and I shivered in desire. I placed my cold hand on hers and instead of flinching away as I thought she would, she kept it.

Bella's eyes slowly fluttered open. They were still the chocolate brown color I loved. I felt a smile on my face. "Good Morning" I greeted her as she stared dumbfounded. All Bella did was blink. I chuckled at her incredulous face, it was very amusing.

She didn't smile; she just kept her face in an unbelievable expression. I carefully touched her soft, human cheek; it burned where I touched it. Bella blinked multiple times and then put her hand on top of mine. "You stayed" She whispered.

I didn't let her see my hurt. "I thought you wanted me to?" I asked, hiding the pain raging inside that she wanted me away.

"No, I'm just in shock that you actually stayed." A small smile played on her lips.

_Edward _Alice's thoughts broke through my mind. Ugh, I had been trying to keep her out and everyone else's mental gasps of shock out as well. I knew I'd have to deal with them eventually, and Bella would be at my side. I knew they were perfectly fine with Bella being with me, but they didn't know it would come so soon.

"Its time to tell them, Bella" I said and stroked her cheek. Her heart picked up to speed. Her intentions read clear across her face. "Bella" I closed my eyes and shook my head, smiling at her wrong assumptions. "They're not going to be mad" I felt her shake her head in my palm.

There was one way I could get to her. I just couldn't lose control this time; last night was way too close. The need to open my mouth against hers, my teeth grinding into her skin, tasting her sweet blood was unbearable... I winced. She was mine and I would do the opposite of fulfilling my thirst.

I took a deep breath, letting her scent burn my throat. Her eyes weren't afraid as thought they would be (I couldn't imagine how my face looked to her), but they were excited, just as when I first met her. I smiled a little at how much she hadn't changed. Then just as she did when we met, Bella smiled back.

I became more confident as I pressed my lips to her forehead; little shocks of excitement filled the air. "Are you still afraid?" I asked her softly.

Her heart stuttered, "Yes" She breathed.

I 'tusked' her; she was really trying to kill me. I kissed my way down her face, covering every inch of it: her cheeks, eyelids, nose, and both corners of her lips. Each time my lips would press against her soft skin, I sent a silent plea to her.

"And now?" I asked of her as I slid my arm under the covers and around her waist, warm and tingly underneath my fingers.

"A little", her voice cracked. She was lying. I raised my eyebrows at her. "I feel safe right now, but it's only because you're here" she squeezed her arms around my neck. Her entire body was pressed against me, and it felt like one twitch of my finger could paralyze her. I sucked her in scent and remembered I needed her here, she wasn't leaving me.

"I'm always here" I murmured, looking her in the eyes. They brightened. I smiled and gently kissed her lips. Sparks filled both of us as her warm lips pressed against mine. But also like last night, Bella's hands fisted in my hair and I squeezed her to my body, almost forgetting not to break her. Her lips parted and that's when I moved mine to her neck. She gasped out for air as I reeled my sanity back into my mind. My head swam with her scent and I only kept refilling it as I kissed her neck and jaw line.

Meanwhile, in my love drunken haze, I heard muted chuckles and a grunt: Emmett and Rosalie.

It was time, I couldn't delay and neither could Bella. So I kissed up the side of her neck and down her jaw and to her chin. I moved my mouth over hers then and her hot breath flowed into my body.

"It's time" I whispered against her lips. Bella closed the space and surprisingly behaved. It lasted a second and then she squirmed out of bed.

"C'mon" She muttered grudgingly as she tripped around the room. I forgot she couldn't see as well as I could.

I was at her side in a second, sliding my arm around her waist and she automatically wrapped both her arms around mine. "I love you" she told me "No matter what happens" Her voice in the dark and full of sincerity. I felt my dead heart jump for joy. This wonderful, beautiful creature loved me, the monster. I pulled her and hugged her warm body to my chest.

_EDWARD! Less huggy more talky! _Alice screamed at me as she envisioned Bella and myself facing the family. A growl rolled off my lips and into Bella's hair. Alice couldn't be _anymore_ irritating.

"Alright, Alright" I growled in her direction.

Bella looked up at me and then I realized she thought I meant her. Her eyes were so hurt. I put my hands on both sides of her face. "Not you, sweetheart." Her eyes drowned in relief and she let out a sigh.

"Good because I thought we were passed all the boundaries" She half smiled.

I nuzzled my nose against hers, "Of course" I told her, there was nothing more to say. I had poured all my secrets out to her and now she could keep them in her heart. Bella began to pull us to the staircase.

As Bella and I descended down the stairs, thoughts of my family saturated my mind.

_Jackass, back stabbing jackass _Rosalie glared at me. She kept the reasons why she was using profanity against me blocked in her mind. Fine, I'd probably find out eventually

_Ugh, the future is being blocked until they make a decision, _Alice grumbled and pouted as the same picture of me and Bella came up in front of the family.

_Wow, Bro, who could have known? This is going to be hilarious. Wonder what will happen if they go to home base_... Emmett thought chuckling. I glared daggers at Emmett for the very _thought_ of mine and Bella's relationship reaching that level of extreme lust and danger.

_How can he stand so close to her? It's hard enough to stand next to a human but a _singer_? Not possible. _Jasper assessed my arm around Bella's waist and her head to my chest. He couldn't see how I could even be attracted to Bella. He didn't look at her the way I had. He didn't see the radiant beauty and goodness of her. But then again, Jasper was very difficult with humans in general so I shouldn't very much judge.

_Oh my son. He's been alone for so long. They deserve each other. I've never seen Edward so happy. Bella seems happy as well. Oh, that's all I care about: my children being happy, _Esme thought passionately. My mother in so many ways had always thought I wasn't complete in my life, she always thought I needed someone. I had always pushed those kinds of thoughts away because I knew I didn't need anyone, that is, until Bella entered my life.

Although, I did not think I deserve such a wonderful and lovely creature such as Bella. What was I? A monster. And there Bella was, standing beautiful and passionate. But somehow, she loved me back. She says she cannot be without me.

_I knew he could do this. I've never felt so proud of him. He triumphed over his fears and became the person he should have been years ago, _Carlisle stood, tall and proud of me. I still don't think I deserve such gratitude. I've taken so many human lives...

I stood there, one firm arm around Bella, ready to run if we had to. The whole room became dead silent, even thoughts sounded like the inside of a grave. My family stood, expressionless, their thoughts no more than what they see in front of them.

_Guess I'll be the first to talk to the traitors. _Rosalie thought viciously. "So" Rosalie laughed a grim chuckle "You're _together _now? Wonderful" She sneered sarcastically.

I felt Bella flinch against me, she had never seen Rose act that way. Her sisters had always been so sweet and loving towards Bella. In fact, Rosalie always wanted to raise a child, and Bella was the only chance she had. Her mind was still blocking reasons why she was so furious.

Carlisle touched Rosalie's shoulder. She shook it off, turning her face away to the windows

"Rosalie...I-I don't understand why...you're so angry...I-I know it's sudden..." Bella stuttered, struggling to find peace with her sister.

Rosalie just huffed. _Of _course _she couldn't notice how much of am absurd _liar_ she is being_

Fury filled my mind, making me see red. How _dare_ she treat Bella like that. Growls erupted from my chest and rolled off my tongue, filling the room with them. Rosalie looked at me wide eyed; I looked like a monster to her. My growls stopped short. That was the last thing I wanted to be, even Rose.

Rosalie then glared at me and went outside. Emmett didn't go after her like I thought he would, he was staying for this meeting. He kept his hands crossed tight over his chest.

Carlisle cleared his throat. I brought my attention back to him. _He can take care of her surely...that doesn't keep a father from worrying. Humans constantly change their minds. _Then he looked at Bella, with her arms wrapped around me, her brown eyes full of desire. _Then again, Bella doesn't change her mind often. But how dangerous..._

"I know the dangers, Carlisle" I reminded him.

"Yes, and I trust you son, but do you not think there is an easier way..." He trailed off and Alice's face went blank. All I saw was Bella's cold white form. Her face was expressionless, her red eyes glowing. Growls vibrated through my body and my vision became red. My arms turned into claws around Bella. Alice gasped and Bella was out of my arms. As soon as her body was removed, my claws closed the space in my hands so much they could cut into cement.

She can't be doomed to this. Bella deserved a good human life. If she was going to die then I'd find a way to too.

Alice stayed silent, her arms out, protecting Bella from me. "It's the only way, Edward. I won't let you be hurt because a simple flaw that can be fixed. She's going to be changed. I can see it"

My growls increased in their furious volume and all I could see was my love, damned for eternity. My teeth grinded against each other, feeling as if they could pulverize granite. The monster in me, buried after seventeen wonderful years, arose from inside and took over. I crouched in Alice's direction, ready to attack the one throwing those unbearable images at me.

I crossed the room, towering over Alice, claws an inch from her face. Everyone gasped. Then there was a voice, one voice that kept me from tearing Alice limb from limb.

"Please! Edward, stop! Please!" A clear voice rang in fear. My red hazed vision rested on Bella's frightened, pained face. What was going on? Bella's face stayed inside my mind.

"What are you doing?!" Alice whispered, scared to death.

"He won't hurt me, I promise" Bella murmured, and my eyes rested on the spot were Bella was.

She maneuvered out of Alice's protective stance. I didn't realize I was still growling. I fought against the strong anger inside me as Bella stood against my body. Warmth radiated off her skin, causing me to thaw out of my cold state. Her hot, human hand rested on my cheek, letting little tingles run through my system. My breath shivered in desire as she stepped up on her tiptoes to look into my eyes. Bella's eyes shimmered with reassurance; her big, brown, warm, _human_ eyes. Her other hand went to the other side of my face, doubling the warmth against my skin. Her scent ran up my nose, burning it but saturating it with sweetness at the same time.

I gently put my hands on top of both of hers. She smiled, turned her palms over so she could twine our fingers together.

"Mine?" Bella asked, her voice afraid and unsure. Her eyes had fluttered closed. Could she really be so doubtful of my love? A smirk played on her lips.

"I'm yours" I murmured to her. I would always be hers. She smiled widely without showing her teeth and laid her warm head on my chest.

_Edward and Bella...who would have thought? _Emmett thought, probably smiling happily, not amused for once.

_Finally _Esme sighed contently.

_So, So odd _Jasper contemplated

_Be happy, Son _Carlisle thought to me

_I can _not _believe them _Rosalie snarled outside and I mentally rolled my eyes at her childish actions

_A choice is going to be made, Brother _Alice thought towards me. Bella's vampire form became sharper.

My eyes and teeth clenched together once again. I untwined my fingers from Bella's and moved them to her shoulders. I had to leave the room, before Bella gets hurt. That's the last thing I wanted. I kissed her ever so lightly on the lips, hardly touching her and went to the backyard, to let my anger steam out of me.


	21. Chapter 21: Mortality

Phasing Moon Chapter 21: Mortality

BPOV

The only thoughts in my mind were Edward and his perfect form storming out of the room. What had been thought? And who was responsible? I looked around the room at my family, all their pale faces, expressionless, all of them frozen statues.

"What's going on?" I asked them, my hands clenching into fists. They knew better than to keep secrets from me.

Alice was the first to come to life as she danced over to me, slinging a cold arm around my shoulder, and guiding me to the couch. I wanted to make this quick, Edward seemed so upset...

My sister stared off in Edward's direction, then stared at me, and sighed. "A decision needs to be made, Bella" Her eyes tightened.

"What decision?" What absolutely _had _to happen in order for my and Edward's relationship to blossom?

"Your mortality" Alice stated, monotone.

I inhaled a gasp. My mortality? Does she mean becoming a vampire? Me? I would leave the mortal world behind to be with the one I loved? I'd never given much thought to becoming a vampire. Ironically, it never crossed my mind. But becoming one...maybe I could be enough for Edward; to stand next to him and be the girl that belongs there, to be a woman with inhuman beauty and perfection.

My head unconsciously drifted in Edward's direction. He didn't seem too happy about it. Why? Did he not want me to spend forever with him? Did he want to eventually end up with an elder? That didn't seem right. My eyes drifted down to the pale carpet.

"Bella, there's no rush, you can wait as long as you want" Carlisle said, at my side suddenly. He touched my arm but I just kept sinking into a depression. My hands fisted in my hair.

"Wait until what? I'm an old lady? Right." I let sarcasm poison my voice as I slipped my head into my hands. I've never thought of this until now. I was about to grow old with my never-aging family and then die while they went on with their never ending lives. This had to be done. I must become a vampire.

"I'm ready anytime. Please, I don't want to end up like..." I just shook my head in disgust. There was a silence, a kind that could bring your spirits down. It was dead, no spoke or even breathed. Then, before anyone could say anything, a painful, agonized yelp immersed from outside. Pain saturated my chest and my hand immediately reached for my heart. What was I doing to him? I was hurting him. Edward should have a say.

I sat up, my vision was blurry. "I'm going to check on him" I said brokenly. Suddenly, more than one pair of hands was holding me down.

"Bad idea, Bella" Alice said, back from the future. I kept my eyes where Edward was.

"Why?"

"He...has to take in...what could happen..." Alice's voice trailed off and I looked back at her. Her usually bright eyes were now a dim yellow.

"I don't understand...." How could Edward be so stubborn for me to change?

"It's something for you and him to discuss when he is less upset" Carlisle said softly, comfortingly.

Esme glided over and hugged my shoulders from the side. "It'll work out, dear. No matter what happens, we'll always love you." She soothed my hair.

"I'll love you too" I promised my mother.

"Bella" Alice's pained voice made me raise my head, "I know it hurts but don't go near Edward today...he needs time to himself" Her face hardened.

My teeth bit down hard on my lip. It was hard enough knowing he was in pain, but now I had to _avoid _Edward? My first instinct when he is hurting is to hold him in my arms and comfort him, do anything to make him happy again. This was going to be hard.

Alice stared at my, agonized. "Can you?" I held back my tears of anguish and nodded. "I'm sorry" She whispered. Esme squeezed my shoulders, and Carlisle patted my head.

As the day progressed, I worked swiftly through the house, cleaning. I would do anything to be distracted from Edward's pain but it was no use, he was always somewhere in my mind, stinging me with his agony. An unfamiliar haze filled my eyes and I felt my body automatically work itself, my mind was detached, stumbling through nowhere.

The eyes of my frozen family followed me as I worked around our home in my empty state. Alice made me feel less alone as she adjusted paintings on the wall as I dusted them. Her eyes were blank most of the time, either respecting my depressed presence or looking into the future. Alice shouldn't have to deal with me, but each time I would try to apologize for my behavior she would shush me and say its nothing. I would look out the window to the backyard more than necessary, checking on Edward. He remained in a sitting position looking out at the lake. Although, the haze would clear out of my eyes slightly.

Eventually, the house was spotless, so I kept cleaning it again and again, doing anything to not let this pain swallow me in. I kept my pajamas on throughout the day, I couldn't let one thing distract me from my trance.

I was dusting the glass coffee table for the third time when Carlisle was getting home from work. I heard him sigh as he hung up his coat and then everything else was silent. Rosalie had walked angrily up to her room and for once in my life, I could care less about what she thought of me. Alice was arranging flowers in a small vase to put on the table I was cleaning. Emmett and Jazz were playing their own customized game of chess, very odd way to play but they like it. Esme had been humming while looking at some blueprints for remodeling a house.

"Check mate, I win" Emmett laughed, smug. "Too bad Alice isn't here to let you cheat, Jazzy old boy."

Jasper just growled. "Again" Really? This was their fifth game and Emmett had won three already. Just because I was cleaning didn't mean I heard their cheers and grumbles of the result of the game.

A cold hand touched my shoulder. My heart fluttered. Was it Edward? Had he finally come in? I turned around just to see my father staring down at me, his eyes full of concern. "It's time to take your medicine and check bandages, Bella" Carlisle held out his hand. I raised an eyebrow, I usually did that on my own, this was only a sign that Carlisle wanted to speak with me. I sighed, dropped my cleaning rag and followed Carlisle to his office.

My father poured me a glass of water and handed me the two pills I'm told to take. I sat on the cold table used for examinations in Carlisle's office. He lifted my shirt slightly to remove my bandages. A pinch in my skin and the bandages were off. He examined the wound closely.

I looked down at him and he smiled back at me, "They're almost healed. Although, you still have to take the pills for another two weeks"

I just nodded weakly. Carlisle turned and burned my bandages like he always did so the scent wouldn't bother the others. The flames licked the air and only made me think about what that transformation feels like. Was it as hard as my family says it is? It is worth it I know that.

I looked over at my hard working father, and thought about the choices he had made for our family

"Carlisle?" I asked as he got my new band-aids and pain ointment.

"Hmm?" He hummed as he cleaned the wound from my dreadful surgery.

"How hard was it for you...to decide...for...Esme to become...?" I just shook my head. It was harder to get the words out than I thought. How much pain did it cause.

"I didn't have much time" He whispered, "She was dying, there was nothing a human doctor could do. I had two choices: Let her die-" Carlisle choked on the last word and then picked himself up again "or change her"

His eyes spaced out; out to the past. "I couldn't leave her like this. Blood stained all over her head and back, blood coming from her mouth" Carlisle flinched, "Her blue eyes looking at me with despair and loss, Esme was so good, and I couldn't bare to see this human being die. I thought I was done, I thought I would not doom anyone else to this life... but all I could see was the person I loved dying. I'd never, in my two hundred years then, experienced such a sensation such as love. It was so dominant; it blinded me from the better decisions for her.

"Edward was with me then, holding his breath, still not used to human blood. Just as I was about to change her, Edward had other ideas. His amber eyes, furious 'Are you mad? Death is less painful and a hell of a lot better for Esme', he growled at me. My son didn't want me changing anybody else just as much as I didn't.

"'I wish I could explain this to you, but I don't have time, son' I told him and then...he left." Carlisle snipped the tape with his nail, redoing my bandages. He then looked at me, his golden eyes, calm. "But can you see how different Edward and I are? I see this-" he gestured his body "- as a second chance. Edward sees it as a curse, much like the rest of them. I gave them this chance because they were all such good people."

I was glad Carlisle did. Every one of my siblings was special in their own way. But why couldn't Edward let me experience that with him? "But why don't you think Edward wants me to change?" At least maybe Carlisle would have a clue.

He took a deep breath and didn't look at me first. "Edward is very different from me. His beliefs are different than mine." Carlisle looked at me and I felt my eyebrows furrow; that is not what I asked. "I believe that even if we, we as vampires, leave Earth, we still have a chance to live in heaven. But Edward...he believes differently" His eyes turned sad.

"How?" I whispered. I've never heard this kind of information on Edward before, and this was probably my only chance.

His eyes drifted to the window, "He's the opposite. He doesn't believe what I do. He believes this is our afterlife. If we are gone, we are gone"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. That couldn't happen. "So what? He believes he doesn't have a... a soul?" If I was putting it right, it sounded just like that.

"He believes none of us have one"

"That's not possible. If he didn't have a soul, he'd just be a monster" I murmured, trying to do this math in my head. Then I gasped when I figured it out. "He thinks he's a-"

"Monster" Carlisle finished my statement and nodded.

How could a wonderful, perfect person such as Edward think their a monster? "That is not true...he's the complete opposite." I just shook my head.

"Yes, I know" He looked back at me. "But just think of the situation in reverse, if you believed as Edward did, would you take away his soul?"

I pursed my lips. My father had a point that I couldn't argue with. His soul was definitely something very precious. I let out a sharp sigh. After hearing Carlisle, it made sense for Edward to be upset with this.

My father silently guided me out of his office. The haze had lifted from my eyes and I didn't feel so empty anymore.

It had grown dark outside so I couldn't check on Edward. I bit my lip and went down the staircase.

* * *

Rain pattered against my windows and I stared into the darkness of the outside world. Edward was probably soaked now but still thinking of my decisions. I contemplated them as well. Would I be willing to take away Edward's soul if it meant I could spend forever with him? My heart broke as I knew the decision I would have made. I'd do the same as Edward, I would keep him human. I sighed.

My face reflected dimly against the glass. My eyes were the same color brown, my hair was the same dark mahogany, my skin still the same pale ivory with a tint of rose in my cheeks. For once, I could see what Edward sees; what I was giving up: This human girl, soft and warm, a maybe only chance at heaven.

But I believe differently. I believe in fate and destiny, I believe in souls and heavens. I would become a vampire to be with my fate and follow my destiny. He and I would have souls and we'd be in our own perfect heaven.

I sighed, climbed into bed, and shut out my light. I laid my head on the soft, plush pillow. My hand slid onto the pillow to my right, where _his _head lay last night. I tightened the pillow in my fist and all I could see where his eyes when I woke up this morning. A single tear fell down my cheek as I shut my eyes and eventually, I felt myself drop into a dreamy slumber.

* * *

My body suddenly fell on a cold, solid floor. My breath came out in a huff and my heart stuttered hyperactively. I opened my eyes to only be surrounded by black.

"Bella" A familiar voice whispered in my ear. It was not only familiar but beautiful and as soft as velvet. Edward

My head shot up only to see two figures, glowing dimly: one tall, one short. I got up, feeling very weak in my knees. "Edward?" My voice sounded hoarse. Neither of the forms responded.

Suddenly I sensed someone behind me. I turned around to see Edward, tall and perfect looking ahead. His eyes full of love, a smile on his face. I hadn't seen him so happy since last night.

"Edward, I'm so glad you're happy and over this, it'll work out I pr-" He started walking passed me. _What the...?_ He didn't even see me. "Edward!" my voice was almost inaudible. I started running but it felt as if I was walking really slowly, that happened a lot in my dreams. "Wait!" I mouthed. He didn't respond as he reached the forms.

Suddenly, the sun burst through the glow. I gasped. The sunlight hit all –now three- forms, all reflecting the sun's glow in sparkles. Eventually, I became faster in my attempt at running. "Wait!" I called out to them, my voice getting clearer.

My vision of the figures started becoming clearer. One was Edward, the easiest to recognize who was facing me. The woman next to him had her back turned to me. She had her hand in his. I envied that. Then there was a child, looking at the sun but her body turned towards me. This was very confusing.

The woman turned around and I gasped. She was beautiful; stunningly beautiful. Her long dark brown hair dropped to her waist, perfectly wavy and smooth. Her skin was pale white and probably ice cold. Her eyes were mesmerizing, they were fiery amber. Her form was slim and curvy. She was much more beautiful than Alice or Esme.

"Bella" Both the woman's head and mine turned to my love. But Edward was looking at the woman. Realization hit me finally, the woman...was me. Her face was expressionless but when I gasped, she did as well.

The child then turned her head in concern. She was just as beautiful as the vampire Bella and Edward. Her eyes were a beautiful dark chocolate brown. Her skin the same tone as mine and her short bronze locks hung from her shoulders. Who was this? And why did I feel love growing inside me for her?

Before I could take another step, thunder crackled in the distance but there were no clouds blocking the sun but the family ran anyway. "Wait!" my voice now crystal clear. They eventually disappeared. "Wait!" I screamed at them.

Thunder then crackled in my ear and lightning struck the ground where they once were. I screamed and my eyes shot open to the ceiling of my room. My whole form was shaking, scared to death. I was so shaken, tears fell down my cheeks. I wasn't scared because of the storm but because that future disappeared. That Bella's eyes were still in my mind, staring at me with confusion. I took one shaky hand and smoothed out my hair. I slowed down my breathing as much as possible before I had a panic attack. My moved to my heart and beat wildly against me skin, I could feel it faintly. This was the future I was taking and I wanted it, badly.

I moved from the sheets and turned on my light on the night stand, behind the picture of me and Edward. The shine stunned my eyes and that only reminded me more of my dream, I flinched. I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was only then I sensed someone next to me. I gasped and turned to see Edward. He lay right where I clenched my fist last night.

"You're here" I whispered, my voice drowning in relief.

"I am" He said, his voice was much more beautiful than my dream.

I slowly lay back on the pillow, without taking my eyes off of him, much too terrified he would disappear. His golden eyes burned through mine, making me need to catch my breath. I blinked and with one shaky hand, laid it across his icy cheek. He was real. My heart caught in my throat. I squirmed to him and through my arms around his neck.

He seemed shocked at first, hesitating but then winding his arms around me. His lips found my shoulder and little circuits traveled through my body. I breathed and his wonderful scent filled my nose. Edward kissed his way up my jaw. I pulled my head from his shoulder to see his face. His eyes were burning with apologies. That didn't stop him from pressing his lips to mine. This kiss was gentle but intense; I could sense tension in his lips. But the same electricity filled me and I felt my heart melt inside my chest. My hands wound through his hair, pulling myself to him harder. Then he became unresponsive under my lips. He looked at me, shook his head, and smirked. I grinned back. Then his eyes dimmed and so did his smile.

"Bella I'm so sor-" He said, about starting his speech on apologies and but I put my hand over his mouth and just shook my head.

"I forgive you, don't worry about it. You were thinking and I respect that" My voice stumbling over my words, still drowning in relief that he was in my arms again, where he belonged.

He sighed and removed my hand, only to hold it in his. "How could you...forgive me so easily...when I wasn't there...for you?" He controlled his voice, frustrated.

"Because I can. Because I don't want to fight with you.....Carlisle told me...about your...beliefs..." I struggled, not knowing if I should go on.

"I heard" he sighed.

Of course, "I don't believe that..." I told him

"I know"

Now I sighed, "You do have a soul...never doubt that." I touched his face again.

"Please" his face became agonized. "Don't do this..." he pled.

"Oh, Edward...." I felt his pain inside me. I moved my hand to stroke his hair, the most human part of him.

"You have a chance...to live your life...none of us did..." Edward's voice was monotone but I could sense a ting of pain in it.

"You have to understand...I've never loved anyone, the way I have loved you.... I want forever with you, I'm willing to give up my life for that" I hopelessly tried to convince him.

"I'm not" He growled.

I sighed. "Please try and understand my side a little. My human life is so short. If I become a vampire...we have forever together....You're not just the love of my life...you're my best friend. Before I loved you, I always thought of you as my best friend...we didn't spend much time together but when we did, it was amazing...and I know you don't want me dead...so just let me change..."

His face tightened. Edward gently put both of his hands on either sides on my face. He looked into my eyes and sighed sharply. "Bella, you do not realize how hard it is to not give you what you want."

"Then give in"

He smirked, "Nice try. But Bella, I was afraid for all of the family changing although, this feeling for you.... this gut-wrenching pain is not even a thousandth of that fear for the rest of our family. One part of me fights to grant your desires, but another part screams to not risk losing you" He squeezed his eyes closed. "I've never felt anything like this before and the thought of being in a world where you don't exist is highly agonizing. I cannot damn you to an eternal night."

I let out a sharp breath. "It's not your choice to make, its _mine_." I said and immediately regretted it. Even with his eyes close, I could feel the anguish behind them. "I'm sorry..." I whispered brokenly.

"We're not having this discussion" Edward stated, his voice final.

"If you think this is over, then you don't know me very well."

Edward just huffed and held me tightly to his body. It wasn't over. No one would surrender but I certainly wasn't going to give up. I know what I want. I vowed that to myself and held onto the future and vampire in my arms.


	22. Chapter 22: Danger

Phasing Moon

Chapter 22: Time

Bella's POV

My legs cramped as I ran through the darkness. The young child looked at me, her brown eyes wide and unsure. Although, the harder I ran, the slower I went. Then another figure appeared. It was me again, as a vampire. I had an expressionless mask on my face and looked down at the child. I held out my hand and the girl took it.

"Wait!" I screamed and ran until I collapsed on the cold ground.

My eyes shot open. My breath came out in a gasp. Light shined outside my window and stung my newly opened eyes. I blinked a few times to escape that horrible dream that I'd had for the fifth time this month. My hand automatically searched for the hand of the person who should be next to me but all I felt were pillows.

"Edward?" I murmured as my hand caught a piece of heavy paper. My vision came up to a letter with my name on it. Slowly, I opened the paper to see a letter written in my love's hand. My heart thudded against my chest like a rocket.

Bella,

I have gone hunting with Emmett and Jasper, but do not fret; I will be back before you can even miss me. Alice will be spending the morning with you. I am not responsible for anything she thinks of doing with you...good luck with that. I hope you had sweet dreams; you were a bit restless last night. You can tell me all about it when I get back.

I love you

Edward

P.S: Please be safe.

Did my heart just melt inside my chest? My skin burned with his short yet sweet letter. Then it sank, he was going to be gone for the morning. The time was so short but it felt as if it stretched out in front of me. The world did seem a bit darker when he wasn't with me.

As my eye devoured the letter, I began to worry. Was I really going to tell Edward of him, myself, and that mysterious child? Would he assume things? Would he reconsider our newly born relationship? I bit my lip and held the letter to my heart. I wasn't ready to let him go.

_I love you_

Those written words painted themselves in my mind. I'd probably said I loved him in my sleep...again. But those words filled me with hope for us. He loved me, I loved him. It was so simple. A short laugh escaped my lips. I wish our relationship was that easy.

A rhythmic hand rapped on my door.

"Wakey, Wakey sunshine!" Alice danced through my now unlocked door.

I ignored her and put my head on Edward's pillow. I didn't feel like spending the morning doing who knows what with Alice.

Apparently that wasn't one of my options as Alice threw the covers off of me. Alice's cold hand tugged on my arm and I just grumbled a 'go away' to her. Her hand snapped off me as if she had been electrocuted. That's better...

"This isn't over! Come on! You can't just sit and mope with Edward is not around!" Alice started bouncing on my bed.

That got to me. I sat up and glared at her. I hated when she was right...but I didn't want her accusing me for my feelings.

"Is missing him a crime?" I told her. Her dark gold eyes seemed to dim. "Don't you miss Jasper when he's gone?" which was a pretty dumb question because I knew the answer. She missed him terribly. I could see it written on her face when it happened. Although, my sister was better at hiding her feelings than me. I was so new to this feeling, it was hard to adjust.

Alice remained silent. I crossed my arms and waited for an answer. Her eyes dropped because she knows Jazz had gone with them. "See?" I told her.

"Yes, but I tend to just distract myself. You know how vampires are" Her tone was curt, I had offended her.

"Alice..." I sighed and stretched out my hand. She turned but I put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry...I'm not...used to this, I never realized how much it hurts until now, I guess" She tensed under my fingers. "Sorry"

Alice was silent and still. She must be hurting. Guilt swallowed every other feeling I had. Alice was just as upset as me and I was treating her like garbage.

"Alice, please talk to me" I whispered

She remained still.

"Alice?"

No response.

I jumped out of bed, hoping my fears weren't showing too dominantly on my face. I slowly revolved around her form to see her eyes blank, seeing nothing in front of her. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she froze into a statue. I put both hands on either sides of her face.

"Alice!" I desperately started trying to snap her out of it. I called her name mostly. I waved my hands in front of her, and even attempted to shake her but it was no use, her eyes stayed in their position.

"Bella?" for a millisecond, I thought she finally responded but it was Rosalie's voice which came from behind me.

"Rosalie, she won't snap out of it!" I said without looking back and helplessly tried to attempt to wake her.

Rosalie called for Esme and just as she came through the door, Alice blinked once her eyes going from blank to alive. Then she blinked multiple times, reeling herself back.

"Alice?" I asked

Her eyes then turned fearful. Her hands clutched mine tightly. "Bella"

"Yeah, I'm here" I told her. Her frightened look only made me more fearful of what she had seen. "What did you see?" I asked desperately.

She then looked around me, probably at Rosalie and Esme. Fright cursed through my veins and anticipation captivated my mind. Then Alice's expression changed to completely horrified as she looked back at me.

"Alice!" I exclaimed "Please tell me what you saw"

She took a deep shaky breath and then looked away. She whispered so quickly and quietly I could hardly catch what she said. Her usual chirpy voice was now the inside of a grave "They're coming"

I heard two quiet gasps from behind me. I tensed. "Who is 'they', Alice?"

She still didn't look away but she saw Rosalie and Esme's now-horrified expressions. "They found out about, Bella..."

Esme's little sobs were clear this was not good. Her cold arms wrapped around me from behind. "No-no-no-they can't-take my baby-never they can't take her-I won't allow it"

"What is going on!?" I shrieked at Alice who finally looked at me.

"The Volturi. I'll tell you about them later but right now we need to get you out of here. Now" Her voice was monotone and sounded like a doctor telling his patient he had a year to live.

My whole form was shaking as questions filled my mind. What were or who were "The Volturi"? What did they want with me? So what they found about me? What is going to happen? Are we going away? Will I ever see Edward's face ever again? I felt my knees give out and Esme caught me. Edward. My mind went racing from his name. My heart cried out for him.

"I need to see Edward" My heart spoke now.

Alice looked at me and he face crumpled. "No...you can't"

"What?! Why can't you call him and tell him to come home!?"

"I was getting to that part of the story!" She snapped. I remained silent, tears verging. "The Volturi are dangerous, Bella, they rule all of us and make all the rules. Humans are not supposed to find out about Vampires. That's their law and if broken the vampires and human will suffer consequences." My heart jumped inside my throat at the word, consequences. "Edward can't come after you, Bella. That's how they're going to find out about you! They were curious since Carlisle had not spoken to them in some time. Two vampires are going to confront Edward and the others. One is a tracker; she'll smell the human scent on all of them. They both know that we are animal drinkers and human blood doesn't dilute quick enough to our eyes. They're going to suspect something and we can't have that risk. They'll put two and two together and find out; we've been keeping you and you obviously know about us. So we're going to send you to Denali"

Rosalie came up from behind me. "We are? Alice, are you sure?"

"We don't have much of a choice"

"You're probably right..."

"What will I do there?" I asked. I hardly heard of the Denali clan. I knew they were a coven just like the Cullens but I had never even met any of them. The thought of spending an uncertain amount of time with vampires other than my family was terrifying.

"You're going to stay there with Tanya and the others. They're good to us, Bella, and they'll help keep our secret. While you're there, we will stay here-"

"Not going to happen, Alice. They could hurt you! I won't let you risk your lives because of me!" I told her fiercely. Just thinking of one of my family members being hurt was too much.

She just shook her head. "Bella, there's really no choice...please; you have to cooperate with us. It's the only way to keep yo- I mean us safe" Alice had put a plural in now, trying to make me listen to her probably. "We'll stay here it'd be too dangerous for you to be near them when we...get rid of them" Alice choked

Esme came up on my other side, "No, Alice, please say we don't have to" she begged. My mother had the sweetest heart. She didn't even want her enemies hurt.

"Its the only way to protect her" Alice murmured.

Tears rolled down my cheeks at the thought of Alice and the others being closed to those vampires.

Alice's dead gaze turned to me, "Get your bags packed. Now. I'll call the airlines"

"But Alice-"

"GO!" she screamed at me and I stumbled away. Alice had never screamed at me like that before. Water refilled my eyes and my hand went to my mouth.

Esme swooped me into her arms, and we were in my cluttered room. A suitcase landed in front of me. As fast and mechanically I could, I started packing my clothes, not even looking at them. Esme raced down the hall and grabbed my toiletries. I worked my mind to conceal the growing panic and fear I had of my family. They would all but risk their lives while I just sat there, waiting for their return...or not. I dropped whatever I took and let my head fall into my hands. So much for blocking out the pain.

I heard Esme's small gasp and then her arms were around me, comforting me. My mind told me to leave but my heart told me to stay. "I don't want to go..." I murmured to Esme.

She stroked my hair, "I know, sweetheart, I know", She turned to look me in the eyes. "But it's the only way"

It was hopeless. None of them were going to listen to me. I took a deep shaky breath and walked out of her arms and finished packing.

After Esme left for Alice, I went and picked up the picture of Edward and me. Water collected in my eyes. I held it to my chest.

"Stay with me" I whispered brokenly, almost inaudible to anyone. Slowly, I sat down on my bed and I let my head fall with my tears. How can someone so perfect be so far away? I let choked sobs that had been held in my chest bubble to the surface. I couldn't even have a phone call to hear his wonderful voice. A huge wail erupted from my chest and pain filled the dead silence that filled the air. Not even a goodbye. Not even a one last 'I love you'. No, I wasn't getting any of that and neither was Edward.

"Its time to go" Alice's voice immersed from behind me. She didn't even comfort me. She stood there, waiting.

"Give me a minute" I growled at her.

I didn't hear her leave but when I looked up, she was gone. In such a short time, my life was falling apart and here I was, like I have been, crying like a little girl, never getting up to face my fears. Things won't get better unless I get up and face what is going to happen. There will be less pain in the situation if i don't look it straight in the eye and say "I'm not afraid." I knew this was not an automatic thing but it wouldn't be so bad to try. I picked myself up and gently place the photo and his letter in my suitcase and closed it until it clicked.

_Not even a goodbye. _I realized that that was a lie. I strode over to my light wood desk and got out a piece of stationary. If this was the last time I would ever be in this house, then at least Edward will find this. I grabbed a pen and started writing my last note.

Edward,

I'm about to leave for Denali and I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love you forever, no matter how long I live, vampire or human. Always remember who you are, always remember you are an amazing person. You are good. Never doubt that. You have opened my eyes and have never ceased to leave me hanging when you speak. The way you do things for me is more dedicated than anyone I have ever met and I only wish I could give you the same in return. Always know that in your heart, somewhere, that I love you and I hope still can after this letter.

Please be careful

I love you always and forever

Bella

I took the letter and folded it in half then put it on top of my desk. Then I wrote his name on it and left my heart to stay.


	23. Chapter 23: A Cold Escape

Phasing Moon

Chapter 23: No more goodbyes

Alice's POV

The trackers were a man and woman. Their names were Victoria and James. Victoria was an excellent tracker, almost as good as Demetri.

James has a power I have never even seen before. He can manipulate himself to look like anyone he has ever seen. This was very bad. We had to get Bella out of here. If James and Bella are in the same place, he can make himself look like Edward and draw her in. I looked toward the future once and again and Edward was leading them here, which only gave us an hour to take Bella to the airport. Anxiousness filled me like it never has before.

"Bella!" I yelled to her.

Her flight was leaving in forty-five minutes. We could get her to Denali soon. Tanya was cautious but allowed Bella to come without explanation. I would send a note along with Bella explaining why. I hope she could understand this

Bella came rushing down the stairs with one suitcase in hand.

"C'mon" I murmured to her, swooping her in my arms and taking her to the garage. I threw my shaken sister in the backseat and threw her the plane tickets. Esme took the passenger seat and Rosalie sat with Bella. Rosalie had put her jealousy problems aside and helped Bella. Bella had always been there for Rose. It was the least she could do.

One click and we were off, speeding down the road. I concentrated to see what was happening with Edward and the others. James and Victoria are in the foyer and we can ambush them successfully as long as we reel them in well enough. My hands clenched on the steering wheel and sped forward as the vision started to blur. A hand touched my shoulder and Esme whispered reassurances though I didn't concentrate on what they were, I just kept searching through what I could see.

Although under all this eerie feeling, I felt something coming, as if it was the calm before a storm. It was coming; tonight two vampires would be gone from the world. An unusual chill ran up my spine as I hit the accelerator to 150. We have to get Bella out of here.

How could I have not seen this coming? Why now I suddenly see this? Why a few hours early rather than a few days? Sometimes I can see years before something can happen. But somehow, I always felt this feeling was there, muted, in the back of my mind. I never found it of any danger or need to take action. But slowly, I could feel this coming; this horrible, disastrous event that could tear my brother and sister apart for good.

We were seventy-five miles from Forks already within twenty minutes. Port Angeles airport was just on the horizon. Just five more minutes and Bella would be safe.

We reached the drop off and Rosalie and I would be going in with Bella. Esme would go back home. We all got out and this was first time I really looked at Bella since I told her she was leaving. Her face had gone shallow. Her cheeks, for once, were as pale as mine. Her hair had lost its shining, vibrant glow. But that wasn't the worst part. Her eyes, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, looked at if they were the inside of a grave. Rosalie took her bags and I frantically took Bella's arm and wringed it through mine, just like when she was sick.

She seemed to limp the way instead of rushing like I was. I could feel her despair roll off her as if they were physically there. It must be hard for her. To practically lose Edward in the short time she was with him...but they _would _be together again. I would make sure of that.

Rosalie was on Bella's other side. Her gold eyes completely focused on the direction of her terminal. Bella needed to be somewhere safe, somewhere remote, somewhere that's hard to find, even for a vampire.

We guided Bella until we reached her terminal. Her large suitcase was already on its way to the plane. All Bella had was with her was her regular school backpack as a carry-on. In it were pictures, CDs, and other things; things that would remind her that we love her. Rosalie touched her cheek and then left without another word. She couldn't bear to say "good-bye." Bella turned to me. Her eyes were even worse than before. You might as well call her a vampire if those dark brown pits for eyes were gold.

She opened her mouth, and then she closed it. Her eyes drifted from mine, looking at the entrance. Sadness filled in my heart for her. She would be all alone. She's hardly ever been alone in her life. There's always been someone there...always been one of us...I wrapped my arms around my broken sister.

"I love you to death, Bella. We'll be together again, I promise" I squeezed her delicate, warm shoulders.

Slowly her arms wrapped around me. Her whole form started shaking and I could hear her heart pound unevenly. Her whimpers burst through my shirt. I knew she wouldn't be able to keep it in for long. Her cries cut through me like steel. I felt my own body shake. Who knows when -or if- we'd see each other again.

"Last call for Flight number one-five-three. Now boarding" The intercom said.

Slowly, hesitantly, I let go of Bella. I looked at her, put my hand on her cheek, and said "Be safe. Be strong. I'll see you soon. Okay?" I told her. My voice was surprisingly soft, as if caressing a feather.

She mashed her lips together then nodded. "That's my sister." I pecked her on the cheek and shoved to her plane.

Bella walked quickly through the terminal and that was the last I saw of her. Good luck, Bella. I thought to her fiercely. Then I turned and headed towards my destined fate.

Bella's POV

The voice of the pilot informed everyone that the plane would be taking off in five minutes. People in the aisles finished packing their carry-on items into the compartments. I sat alone in a two-seater, looking at gray, rainy sky.

Not even a good-bye to him. Edward's face flashed briefly through my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut, dispelling the image. Tears flowed silently down my cheeks. Just a note. No response. There was absolutely nothing that could bring me out of this severe depression. I needed him. It was so straightforward. He needed me. Simple as that.

How could I bring myself to agree to this? How could I let Alice kick me out and to Alaska just like that? Why didn't I ask her to change me then and there? That way those trackers could be gone, never to come back. But I wasn't thinking at the time. Only one person saturated my mind in that moment.

The plane began to move on its way to take off and I dropped my head into my hands. _Good-bye...Edward. _My heart thumped hard and unevenly at the thought of my farewell. My hand reached my chest and hugged it.

How could I sit like this? How could I bring myself to wallow if it will not do me any good? _Edward. _My first and automatic answer of course. The loss of him is like dying a hundred times in one day. But will depressing myself make it any better? I knew that answer: No.

Then a memory from not too long ago appeared in my mind. A mere few hours ago. I had sat on my bed, crying, just as I am now but I had tried to be brave. I had tried to leave everything I have. I let out a sick laugh. How ironic. Here I am again, crying like a child. How come I wasn't like this when I found out my family was full of vampires? How come I was so calm? How come I wasn't _afraid_? I guess that's just who I am. I could handle the dark truth of a world with supernatural creatures but when a little drama with my vampire true love comes along, I have no idea how to handle myself. I was freak. Somehow, I did not care. The only thing that concerned my mind was Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett...Edward.

As the plane left the ground, I rested my head on the seat towards the window and dreamed. Dreamed of a life were nothing ever had to be worried about. I dreamed of Edward. I dreamed of a carefree smile on his face. I dreamed of no more pain he had raging inside of him. I dreamed of having pale white skin. I dreamed of being able to stand next to Edward and belong there. I dreamed of immortality.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, washing those fantasies away, only leaving what I had left of myself. As I calmed down, I pulled a blanket the attendant gave me around myself and tried to sleep in a dreamless slumber.

* * *

I burst out of my bed, my little hand clutching my chest where my heart beat rapidly against my palm. I looked around, waiting for those horrible monsters to come out again. After 5 minutes of silence, I got out of bed, feeling blindly around my room for the door. A cold metal touched my hand and opened the door and the hallway light shined in my face. I ignored and headed down the stairs

Everyone was doing what they were downstairs like they usually were at night. Carlisle was reading a fat volume while Esme was across the room, blue prints in hand. Alice was lounging on the couch, sketching some fashion designs. Rosalie was next to her, reading a magazine. Jasper and Emmett were playing chess and Emmett was losing. Edward was at his piano, as always, playing one of his pieces.

I silently made my way down the stairs. Alice was the only one that looked up.

"Hey Shorty, it's a bit late isn't it?" She said, smiling. "Little girls should be in bed right now"

I rubbed my eyes, waking myself up. "I had a bad dweam" I grimaced at my speech. I had lost my two front teeth so it was hard to talk lately.

"You did?" She asked as I reached the couch

I nodded a little, trying to hide my fear. Alice's cold arms wrapped around me and were placing me gently on her lap. She hugged me and I sighed as her wonderful smell flowed up my nose. I nestled my head deeper into her neck and sniffed.

She laughed at me and stroked my hair. I smiled. "You all always smell so nice" I sighed. I hadn't known my family members were vampires at the time.

I heard someone get up and walk over to me. I looked up from Alice to see Esme sit down next to her and hold out her arms. I eagerly held out mine. Esme smiled gingerly and took me onto her lap and she cradled me to her. For some reason, Esme reminded me of my mother. She seemed to look like her a tiny bit compared to my one and only picture of her and my dad.

"Do you want to talk about it, baby?" She asked softly and I shook my head.

"Can you please just hold me?" I asked of her. I didn't want to go back to my dark room.

"Of course" She said and rocked me. Alice rubbed my back and I felt my eye lids grow heavier.

Edward had changed the song of what he was playing to a softer piece. It was beautiful to my ears and faintly, I could hear myself humming to it. Eventually, I'm not sure when but I drifted off to sleep again and began dreaming lighter dreams.

* * *

I stirred, half asleep in my plane seat, tears on my face.

If only one of them were here. If only I could be so sure this was just a dream.

Lights had been off on the plane as night had dawned over quickly. One more hour and I would be in Alaska.

I sighed and tried to sleep again. I sat there in that seat staring at the dark window for what seemed like hours. Every so often I would try to sleep again but I was wide awake.

Faintly, I could see my reflection in the window. The girl in the window was not the one I thought I was. Her face was expressionless. Her eyes were soulless. Blush had resigned from her plump cheeks. She wasn't Isabella Marie Swan. She was a ghost of who she used to be.

Suddenly, I heard a car. I looked up and around and clouds covered the ceiling. Mist saturated the air, almost as if it were going to rain any second. A backpack was on my shoulder. Students of Forks Middle School surrounded me and little conversations had sprouted. Excitement and relief was in the air for the first day of school had ended.

A car horn honked and I jumped. Edward's Volvo was parked on the curb in front of me. My new friends looked over and gaped at it. I gave them a sheepish smile and walked to the car. My heart stuttered unevenly as I approached the door. I remember Alice specifically saying she would pick me up. It was my first day for crying out loud! Maybe Alice took Edward's car...yes, that was probably it. I took a deep breath, more relaxed, and opened the door.

There, Edward sat, looking calm and peaceful. Tension built up inside me again. I stared at my hardly-known brother, unsure weather to just make a run for it. He turned his head over to me and smiled a bit.

"Good afternoon, Bella." His voice was like music. "How was your first day?" he asked with his usual courtesy.

"It was good" I said quietly, almost inaudible and got into the car.

He started driving off and I felt awkwardness fill the moment. Why? Why, oh, why was it Edward? I might as well be driving off with a complete stranger. How could Alice do this to me? How could I talk to him? Alice knew I couldn't. She knew I needed her, especially today. I always had this odd feeling inside me when Edward was around. It wasn't unpleasant...just odd.

I put down my book bag and crossed my legs uncomfortably. I noticed Edward's white hand turn on the heater. I felt goose bumps on my arms and that wasn't because of the change of temperature.

Edward took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm sorry Alice wasn't here. She had un-finished shopping to do I suppose"

"She said she would be here..." I drifted off.

"I know and I'm sorry about that' He sighed

That caught my attention. I looked over at him who was looking at the road. "_You're sorry? _For what?" I asked. Why is this Edward's fault?

"Alice tends to do things she thinks is right. She wanted us to...bond I suppose" He smiled

Bond? Edward and I have bonded before. I've sat in his bedroom and read books...until two years ago when I found I had my own room. I sighed. I guess Alice wanted us to be talking again. I have nothing against Edward. He's part of the family. But does he have anything against me?

"Bella" He voice lulled me to face him

"Hm?" I asked, half conscious.

"We don't have to do this. We can just not do it and say we did, if you would like. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable" He said. Something in his gold eyes caught me. They looked....forlorn.

How could I ever call me reading in his room bonding? I must have been crazy. Has Edward ever wanted to get to know me all this time? Had I ever even given him a chance? I looked down at my folded hands. No. I hadn't given him a chance. Would he let me if said yes? Would he let me get to know him? I bit my lip, contemplating. How many hours had I sat in bed just wondering about him? The mystery of him? I lost count of how many. This may be my only chance. My teeth left my lip and I took a deep breath his wonderful scent running down my throat.

"Sure" I didn't feel my lips move but sure enough, I heard my voice.

He turned to me and grinned, his white teeth shinning. A smile spread across my face as well.

That afternoon, we talked all day. There was never anything else I wanted more than to know more about Edward.

The heart breaking part of it was...we didn't talk like that until probably my birthday, nearly six years later.

* * *

"Attention passengers, we will be landing at Juneau International momentarily. Please make your seats and trays are in their upright positions"

I jolted awake. The plane lights flickered on and I stretched my arms in front of me. My eyes burned from my recent crying. I reached for my backpack and placed it on my lap, feeling the contents of it pushing against my skin.

I could feel another ocean of tears coming but I sucked in a breath and held it. No more crying. It would put me nowhere. I would see Edward soon. We'd be together again. I couldn't let myself fall to pieces any longer during this situation. The pain of not being near him...it felt as if my soul was detached from my body. It felt like there was no reason to live left. My hand grip my chest and I let out the breath.

I didn't cry as we descended. The sadness and loneliness only filled my heart even more. I knew eventually my pain would flow out but not right now. I had to have one sane moment to think things through. I should be thinking of myself as Alice had said but it is not so easy when you're vampire family is facing other lethal vampires. My heart dropped. Okay, that didn't help much. _Don't think about them_, I commanded of myself. _If only it were that easy_, I sighed and grimaced.

We stopped and everyone gathered their things. I quietly got up and moved passed the drowsy passengers.

Then something else built in me. It felt as if a hand was clenching my heart so hard I could suffocate. My breaths became shorter. I was nervous... Who were the Denali Family?


	24. Chapter 24: Stowaway of Secrets

Phasing Moon

Chapter 24

Stowaway of Secrets

_You took my hand added a plan_

_You gave me your heart_

_I asked you to dance with me_- Sia

BPOV

The plane descended and I put my miseries behind me. I would discipline myself, not to think of my family, not to think of... _him_. If I did, I'd fall to pieces just like all the other times. I had bigger things that took over my mind in this moment: The Denali Clan

I've never met them before in my life. Of course, the Cullens have talked about them and they sounded nice but how could I be so sure? They were all vampires. There had always been a very thin line between the Cullens and me. That thin line would be humanity and inhumanity. They knew more than I ever could.

As soon as the plane touched the gate, I grabbed my backpack and quickly exited the seat and plane. I don't know why I was in such a hurry. I didn't _want _to be here. I guess curiosity rose in my mind about this Denali Clan.

Sweat dewed up on my forehead as well as my hands as I walked down to baggage claim. Coming down the escalator was the most anticipation I've felt in my life. The fact that I was meeting my vampire cousins gave me a bit of right to feel pressure.

Suddenly two pairs of bright golden eyes pierced me. Suddenly, nothing else seemed to be happening around me. All I knew was a family so similar to mine was standing right in front of me. Both of them were expressionless. The two blond angles stood together, shoulder to shoulder. My breathing sped up. I've never seen such beautiful girls except for Alice, Rosalie, or Esme.

The blonde -and most beautiful- on the right of the duo stepped forward and knocked her head slightly in the direction of the baggage claim as the buzzer sounded. Her facial expression did not change. She opened her mouth and her voice was just as beautiful as Rosalie's. "Get your luggage"

I nodded a little too fast. Stunned and disoriented, I walked to the claim. I stood quietly, controlling the hectic shivers growing inside. They were so beautiful; more beautiful than I imagined. But worst of all, they all reminded me of my family. I rubbed the rising goose bumps on my arms.

_ "I'll see you soon. Okay?" _Alice said in my memory. I gasped as her worried smile entered my vision. _"Be safe. Be strong." _She said her expression serious. However, I could see her golden eyes burned with panic. I wanted to touch her cheek and say "I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me" I wanted to reassure her so badly. Its too late now...

Suddenly a white hand had my bag. I blinked out of my daydreams and saw her, the most beautiful one of the Denali's. Her eyes carefully avoided mine as she took off in the direction of the door.

The other blond, nearly as tall as me, came and grabbed my wrist.

"You should pay more attention, Isabella" She murmured. Her voice was like a harp; careful, lovely, and soft. She seemed much nicer than the one who first spoke to me.

"I prefer Bella" I blurted out. It was the first time I used my voice in hours. I'm surprised it wasn't hoarse or depressed. It was calm and alert.

She looked at me, her eyes studying me. Then her mouth twitched up the tiniest bit but I wouldn't call it a smile. "Bella, then" she said and followed after her sister.

Constantly I tripped trying to keep up with her. Her pace was so fast. Obviously, these girls weren't used to having humans around.

I kept my eyes on the ground, trying to watch my feet, doing my best not to trip all the way over. My breaths came out in little huffs as I nearly ran to keep up.

Suddenly, a rush of cold way hit my face. I looked up at the pale, white sky. Little snow flakes fell from it. I groaned a little. Even in my worst nightmare, there are those stupid cold, white puffballs! The one who had my bag looked back at my grimace. My face cleared once her dead expression looked into my eyes.

Mountains covered the Earth outside of Juneau. Cars honked, people yelled, footsteps came surrounded my ears like a stereo turned up a little too loud. The only real city I had ever been to was Seattle and even there it wasn't this crazy. I gulped as intimidation settled in.

A car door opened and I averted my eyes from the city to the black SUV standing in front of me.

The beautiful vampire had let go of my hand. I rubbed my wrist, as if I had been in handcuffs.

"Kate. Sit in the back with her" I looked up to see the one who had had my bag speak to her sister. So if the one who had me was Kate... then the one who had first spoken to me had to be...

"Fine, Tanya. However, she's seventeen not seven" Kate growled.

Tanya glared at her. "And you're one-hundred and thirty, yet you act like you're five sometimes"

Kate rolled her eyes, took my shoulders, and gently pushed me up into the van. The door slammed beside me and I jumped, everything seemed to be coming back slowly, all this loud noise was still unsettling. Kate was on my left in a second. Tanya was already moving the car.

Juneau passed by in a blur but the car seemed to feel at a standstill. Seems Tanya had Edward's driving skills. I rubbed my arms again. They were freezing. My teeth chattered a bit as well.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Kate frown, take off her jacket, and hand it to me. I looked over at her cautious smile. "Sorry, my parka is cold obviously"

I took the jacket and fit my arms through the sleeves. "I'm used to it. Thank you"

Suddenly, I remembered Alice's note. She gave it to me and demanded I did not open it, only Tanya and the Denali's could see it. With shaky hands I opened my backpack and found the letter in Alice's hand.

"T-Tanya? Alice has a note for you" I held it up, fearing her harsh golden eyes

"I'll take that" Kate snatched the note from me. Tanya looked from the driver's seat and glowered at her oblivious sister.

She opened it, looked for a second, smirked, and refolded it, handing it to her.

"Oh Edward...what have you gotten yourself into? A human girlfriend?" Tanya barked.

My hands and teeth clenched; first of all, from the sound of his name and then the tone of Tanya's voice. It was arrogant and smug. What did she have against Edward? Last I heard the Denali coven was good friends with the Cullens. Has it changed? Was this our only choice?

"We've known all about you, Bella. From the start..." Tanya said, looking at the rearview mirror to me.

"You have?" I asked. The Cullens just told them like that?

"Yes, so you could consider us your cousins." Kate said, patting my shoulder softly.

"Or god-parents" Tanya murmured

Kate shot a glare at her and Tanya kept her eyes on the road. My heart jumped around in my chest painfully.

"Do not worry. You'll be safe with us" Kate smiled politely. I could care less about myself. I wanted my family to be safe. Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie...Edward... My hands squeezed into my arms. _Please, let him be okay. _

I looked over at Kate -for a distraction- whose eyes still studied me. Her eyes were brighter than Tanya's. Had she hunted before she came here? Did my blood make them uncomfortable? I breathed low through my nose. I always did that when my family's eyes were black or didn't look exactly comfortable...

As I was doing this, I noticed Alice's note, sitting on Tanya's arm rest. What had Alice said in that note? Did she tell them everything? Did she leave things out? I knew there was one thing for sure; I had to see that note. But how would I when I had two very sharp vampires in the car? I sighed and looked down at my hands.

Kate's cold hand was still on my shoulder, it hadn't left. She rubbed it anxiously. "It'll be alright, Bella" Her voice was full of adoration for my name. At least I have one of the Denali like me. I smiled a tiny bit.

Tanya groaned. We both looked up at her. Her hands tightened on the wheel so much it might have broken.

"Tanya?" Kate asked, worried.

For a fleeting second I thought of my family

"We need Gas. We can't make it back without it"

Kate sighed sharply. "Alright"

We stopped at the nearest Hess station and Tanya got out of the car. I started to twiddle my thumbs, bored. I felt Kate's eyes on my face as I looked down at my fingers. I resisted tensing.

"Bella, you should get out, stretch your legs out. It's a long way" she murmured.

"I'm fine" I answered, my voice soft, emotionless.

"Well, alright" she hesitated, "I need to talk to Tanya, I'll be back in a minute"

"Take your time" I whispered.

The door opened then closed. I continued to play with my thumbs.

Suddenly, a color caught my eye: Alice's letter. Tanya left it on the armrest. I looked out at Kate and Tanya and sure enough their backs were to me. I only had so much time. I bit my lip and snatched the letter, quickly devouring whatever it said.

Tanya,

I know I didn't explain much in our little call so I'll use this time to tell you. Bella is in severe danger. I had a vision. The Volturi somehow found out about her. I have no idea; no other vampires have had witness to her except for you and the others. I've sent Bella to you for safekeeping. Bella will not be in the best of moods. I'm sorry I have to say this to you in a letter, but Bella and Edward are together. It's something I've never seen in life as a vampire, same with Carlisle.-

Tanya and Kate were coming back into the car. I shoved the letter into my pocket without even thinking about it.

The doors opened and I tensed, ready for Tanya to ask for the letter back. Kate got back on my side and patted my hand.

"We'll be there soon" She said

I merely nodded. Tanya started the car and we were off. She was silent...she didn't even notice the letter was gone, vampires are usually sharp... Was Tanya letting me see the letter?

I could barely focus on Tanya now. I had just learned so much and I wasn't even finished reading. My hearth thumped loud and uneven in my chest. Who were the Volturi? Not only that, what were the Volturi? Other Vampires? And why did Alice make them sound so superior? Obviously, it seemed like they were a threat to the Cullens. What did they want with me? Why hadn't my family told me about this?

My curiosity grew as much as the weight of the note in my pocket. I let out a quiet sigh as I let my eyes flutter closed.

Cold air whipped my face and my eyes shot open. Panted breaths filled my ears. However they didn't belong to me. I looked around and it was surprisingly humid for Forks. My eyes grew wide. How did I know this? I never walked through these woods... but they seemed so familiar. The panting grew louder and I spun in a circle, looking for it.

"Hello?" I called out

A sinister laugh filled my ears. I circled again but saw nothing. My heart beat hard in my chest.

I heard bushes rustling to the left. I shot my eyes and suddenly a woman emerged from it. I gasped. She stopped and looked around frantically, afraid. She was oblivious to my presents. The frantic breathing was coming from her. But that's not what shocked me.

Short brown hair hung at her chin. Her blue eyes terrified, tearing. She was my height and holding a little blue blanket. Was that..._me_? My hands began to shake as I reached out for the cloth. I had to see. If that was me...that woman had to be...

Her head snapped in front of me, looking straight at me. I stopped cold. Her wide blue eyes reminded me of mine. I felt my mouth open and close several times. How could I ask? How could I call this woman my mother? How did I know it was her if I've never even met her?

I found my voice and the word on my lips. _Mom_.

Suddenly, she ran towards me. I tensed and she was gone...I looked behind me and my mother's small body was disappearing into the woods.

I wouldn't let her get away. I ran after her. That sinister laugh sounded behind me and I ran faster.

I caught up with Mom eventually. Her pants turned into whimpers; sounds of defeat. I ran alongside her. I saw her eyes were red rimmed. Wind whipped against my ears and the laughs got louder.

"Only a few more minutes, baby" she murmured. I have no idea how I heard her but I did. I felt my eyes tear up. I always imagined the sound of my mother's voice. Calm and clear. However she is usually crazy and erratic, at least that's how I thought of her and that's what it sounded like when Carlisle and Esme would describe her to me.

_"...a kind soul of the purest; Very childlike and happy. She didn't let anything get her down." _ Carlisle would say

Eventually, I recognized this forest. This is the forest in which I would spend with my family. Emmett would carry me on his shoulders and run us through the forest, laughing and having fun. Alice and Rosalie would have both my hands. Alice would tell stories of her and the Cullens before I came along. Rosalie would tell me the same. Carlisle would carry me and show me all the different and unique things of the forest. Esme would walk along side of him. So many memories lied in these woods. What was my mother doing here?

Finally, the twisting vines opened up and before I knew it, my home stared me right in the face. But I didn't feel the sense of being safe; I felt the opposite: Fear. There was someone following us.

Mother was already ahead of me, running up the steps of our home. She bent down over me. I walked slowly up behind her. She kissed my forehead and ran off. I watched as she disappeared. I wanted to run after her but I felt my feet were glued to the ground. This was where I belonged but I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be with my mother. I wanted to keep her safe. Tears spilled over my cheeks. But its destiny. Her death was fate.

A door opened behind me and I saw Alice rapidly looking around. Suddenly, I remembered. This is what Alice told me about. How my mother just dropped me off on our porch without a word to her. She told me exactly what my mother sounded like and what she heard. No wonder I remember all of this...

Alice picked my infant-self up. She smiled down at her. Then she looked up and straight at me. I felt a smile waver my lips. This is where I belonged. This is where I wanted to stay. She smiled too, as if she could see me.

Then finally I could talk. "I love you, Alice"

She grinned, showing her teeth "I love you too, Sis". She did see me.

I felt my eyes go wide and the wintery Alaskan landscape was passing. The car glided through the snowy forest of Denali. I didn't let reality come back to me. I let the calamity of my dream stay with me.

"Bella, are you awake?" I recognized Kate's soft voice.

I waited a moment before answering her, hesitating. I hope talking wouldn't waver my sweet mood. "yes" My voice: surprisingly clear

"We're almost here" said Tanya

I stretched out my hands out like I did on the plane, hearing my knuckles crack. How could so much change in just a short few hours that I was in the car? One minute I was feeling the dread of being away from him and my family and now I feel completely calm, refusing to break my control. Was my dream a sign? Was it a sign that I would see them again? See him again? I sure hoped so.

The car jerked to a stop and Tanya was out the door. Kate was opening mine. She took my hand this time and started leading me up a narrow walkway. I looked over and the whole city of Denali covered the landscape miles and miles down the mountain we stood on. I clutched Kate's hand.

"It's okay" She murmured and pulled us forward. Tanya was already far ahead of us. Kate was patient and went the speed I was comfortable with. I would not lie, the landscape was beautiful. White snow covered the mountains and city below. Its lights glowed like Atlantis. It was ironically the most beautiful city I'd ever seen. "Amazing, isn't it?" Kate looked at me and smiled.

"Yes" I agreed.

"That's why we chose this place, its inconspicuous but we can still monitor the city"

"Literally" I whispered

Her laugh was amazing, almost as good as Rosalie's.

We made it up the slippery steps and my jaw dropped. The house was so big, some would consider it a lodge. Just like the Cullens, windows covered the structure and it was also very proportional. It was made of dark wood.

"We built it ourselves" Kate said

"Really?" I breathed. I was amazed, yet I shouldn't be surprised. Vampires were quick. Yet, it seemed incredible to me.

Kate nodded and we made our way across their lawn.

However, my stomach began churning. What was the rest of the Denali clan like? They couldn't be as kind as Kate. They also lived with Tanya. I swallowed the bile in my throat.

She opened the glass doors to the home and I let out a breath. The whole family was waiting for me. Tanya sat on the stairs, her face expressionless. Another blond stood beside her, a small smile on her lips: Irina. She was obviously beautiful. Her face was calm and her eyes burned light gold. Her nearly white-blonde hair hung straight at her waist. Her smile was soft.

An olive-toned couple stood on the other side of the room. The woman had a smile on her face. The gold in her eyes contrasted well with her skin. She was glowing. Her black hair curled down to her shoulders. She reminded me of Esme. An arm was curled around her waist and I noticed the man next to her. His skin matched hers and his face had a strict tone to it. It was intimidating. He reminded me of Jasper when he would scold at me.

I did not know the name of either of them.

My eyes traveled across the room. It was huge. A large staircase rested to the left of the foyer. I could see up to the second floor. The whole place was wood paneled. A lounging area with a fire place was on the right side of the room on a separate platform. And just like at the Cullens, windows covered the house. I looked down and saw a dark wooden floor held me.

The silence since I had entered the door had not been lifted. All of them were statues. My heart beat wildly in my chest and I felt my hand touch it. It was freezing. I had not realized I was shivering, even in Kate's parka.

Kate was the one to break the silence. "Guys, this is Bella Swan" She put both of her cold hands on my shoulders. Tanya and Irina remained still. Everyone was...

The olive-toned woman was the first to become alive. She was in front of me, taking my hand in an instant. Somehow, her handshake felt warmer than it should be. How could I not remember her name? I'm sure Carlisle or anyone else would have mentioned it...

"Hello, Bella. My name is Carmen" Her voice was light, soft, as if she were comforting me for losing someone.

The man was by her side in an instant, holding her arms. "I'm Eleazer" He nodded to me. His voice was deep, maybe deeper than Emmett's. He had eyes of a tiger for sure. A bile in my throat rose and I could gulp it down. I nodded back.

Suddenly, Irina was on the other side of Carmen, holding out her hand, her eyes excited. Her grasp was soft and cold. "Irina, but you probably already knew that" she let go of my hand and seemed to resist grinning. I felt myself smiling at her, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazer. It seemed as though I was being accepted into the Denali family.

"It's nice to meet you all" I said. My voice was soft, nervous but happy.

A door slammed and I jumped. All their heads turned, I was the last to notice. Tanya was nowhere in sight. I heard Kate sigh behind me.

"I'll lead you to your room, Bella. We don't know how long you'll be here but we prepared" She murmured.

My heart jumped inside my chest. How long _would _I be here? I already felt like a magnet was pulling me back to Forks, back to that big white house I call my home...I bit my lip and let Kate and Irina lead me upstairs. Multiple doors passed by, Irina naming them.

"Tanya...Kate...mine...Carmen and Eleazer..."

Then we came to a door at the end. Kate let go of my hand and opened the door.

I clutched Irina's arm for dear life. Was this...?

I stepped into this too familiar room. How could they know what my room looked like? _How? _I felt my eyes water. How I missed it. My heart beat against my hand and I looked around.

Except for the wooden floors and wall, a few platforms and the window that took up the entire wall across from me, it was the same. A bed lay on a platform to the left. A stereo stood to the right. A closet was to my near right. Two nightstands took place on both sides of my bed. A bookshelf was right up against the window. They even had the correct position of my _reading lamp_ by my bedside.

"Alice explained what your room looked like when she called us" Irina whispered.

_Alice. _How much I missed her. _Thank you, sister _

I turned to the sisters. I felt a smile spread on my face. "Thank you." I whispered "For taking me in, and doing all this for me. Thank you for making me apart of your family"

Kate hugged me close to her. Irina joined. One second we were ten feet apart now nothing separated us. I felt a piece of my broken heart return.

"You've _always_ been part of our family, Bella" Irina and Kate whispered simultaneously.

Finally, tears of happiness spilled over my cheeks. Somehow, it felt as if I never left my home. Somehow, it felt like I was in Alice and Rosalie's arms again. Somehow I felt I still had family.

Eventually, after a few minutes, they let go. It looked like they could have tears in their eyes too.

Kate grabbed Irina's arm, "We'll let you unpack" she said softly.

I didn't want them to go but I still remembered Alice's letter. I reluctantly nodded. "I'll be down in a bit" I told them, holding my urgency in.

They both nodded and left. I waited a minute before going to the far end of the room, against the glass wall, and taking the letter out of my pocket. Hesitantly, I held it to my nose. I sniffed and could faintly smell Alice's sweet smell under mine.

My shaky hands unfolded and the rest and I let my eyes devoured what Alice had said.

Yes, their relationship is something that even Carlisle has never seen. They have been destined. Their love is just as strong as mine and Jasper's. Please be kind to Bella. It kills her as much as it does Edward to be away from each other. Tell the others that too.

I stopped. _Edward. _That name that had nearly successfully taken from my mind had made its way back. How much I wanted to hold him in my arms, to never let go. His perfect voice was in my mind. _"How could you...forgive me so easily...when I wasn't there...for you?"_

My tears had not gone away and they continued to spill. "Because I can" I answered him, nearly choking. I tried to be as quiet as possible, not to let Irina and Kate hear my true feelings.

I kept reading to stop thinking of my love.

Two guards are being sent. We should be able to get rid of them but I'm not taking risks on Bella. You know how important she's been to us. I trust you to take care of her. We will let you know when she can come back. I can see it won't be long.

I owe you so much for you doing this, Tanya.

Please, Please, Please take care of my sister. She is just as much family to you as she is to us.

Thank you so much

Your cousin,

Alice.

P.S please let Bella know that I love her and so does the rest of the family

More tears dotted the paper. I held it to my chest and let myself cry. _I love you too, Alice. _I somehow hoped she would know that too. I laid back against the freezing cold window and let myself cry.

I don't know how long I sat and cried. I did long enough for my legs to start to ache from being in the same position. There was one thing that I knew in my mind. I _would _see my family again. I'd take a plane to Forks if that's what it took me. I refuse to sit here the rest of my life and wonder what has happened to them.

But I couldn't possibly betray the Denali's. Not after what they have given me. I contemplated...A week. I'd give them a week. If they haven't heard anything then I'm leaving. To them. No matter what danger it caused me.

I shivered at my conclusion of the truth. No more thinking about this for now.

I decided I'd unpack, to attempt to get this off my mind. I sat on the bed where my suitcase lay.

Slowly I unpacked. Of course the first thing I see is the picture of Edward and me. I took it and hugged it to my chest. _We'll be together soon, I promise_. I set it on the nightstand and started putting my clothes into the closet.

As I took my last blouse out of the suitcase, something felt odd. I felt around it and it felt as if a large brick was inside the folds. I undid the folds of the sleeves.

My heart jumped inside my chest. A large, black notebook stared me in the face.


End file.
